Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Testosterone and violent crime

Improving on last year's chapter

Hi,

Really interesting topic you've taken on!!

I've had a look at the 2023 attempt and feel there is plenty room for improvement. After reading the old chapter, my advice would be to knock-down and rebuild the structure. There's a massive chunk of unnecessary information regarding definitions of 'Violent Crime'. Obviously, a definition should be set. However, 779 words dedicated to such a definition is overkill.

Additionally, I'd recommend seeking further resources and including references throughout the chapter. In text citation is sorely neglected by the 2023 version.

Anyway, best of luck! I'm sure you'll do a great job :)

u3188383 U3188383 (discuss • contribs) 12:05, 30 July 2024 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

1. Title The title and sub-title are correctly worded and formatted 2. Headings Excellent – Well developed 2-level heading structure. Meaningful headings clearly relate directly to the core topic. Love the use of questions Could perhaps be simplified (e.g., don't need future directions of research section) Adopt closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings 3. Overview Excellent - Scenario, image, evocative description of the problem/topic, relevant psychological theory/research, and focus questions A scenario or case study is presented in a feature box with an image at the start of this section A brief, evocative description of the problem/topic is provided Closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings is recommended I prefer the headings to the focus questions 4. Key points Excellent – key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations Good balance of theory and research Move references to reference list and use citations in main body Conclusion (the most important section): Well developed 5. Figure Excellent - A relevant figure is presented, captioned, and cited The figure caption(s) provide(s) a clear, appropriately detailed description that is meaningfully connected with the main text Figure(s) are cited at least once in the main text 6. Learning feature Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Excellent use of example(s)/case study(ies) Excellent use of quiz question(s) Also consider using one or more tables to summarise key information 7. References Very good At least one relevant systematic review and/or meta-analysis has been identified For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation 8. Resources See also Excellent External links Promising Move academic sources into references and cite in the chapter 9. User page Created – minimal, but sufficient Very brief description about self – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. A link to the book chapter is provided 10. Social contribution None summarised on user page with direct link(s) to evidence. This was explained in Tutorial 03. Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:12, 19 August 2024 (UTC)

Feedback

I really liked how you included substance abuse and depression, which are crucial factors in understanding testosterone and violent crime. Including stats from the Australian Bureau of Statistics was a great touch! I think turning a real domestic violence case into a study could enhance this further, especially considering recent COVID-19 impacts. Cophiesollins (discuss • contribs) 06:03, 4 October 2024 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation Overview The opening clearly conveys the purpose of the presentation Engaging introduction to hook audience interest A context for the presentation is clearly established Consider asking focus questions to help focus and discipline the presentation Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological research The presentation makes excellent use of citations to support claims The presentation makes good use of examples The presentation provides useful practical advice The presentation provides easy to understand information Conclusion The conclusion provides an excellent summary of the most relevant psychological theory and research about this topic The conclusion provides reasonably good take-home message(s) Audio The audio is easy to follow and interesting to listen to The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio Audio communication is well-paced Excellent intonation The narration is well practiced and/or performed Audio recording quality was reasonably good The narrated content is well matched to the target topic Video Overall, visual display quality is very good The presentation makes very good use of text and image based slides The font size is mostly sufficiently large to make it easy to read Some of the font size could be larger to make it easier to read The amount of text presented per slide makes it reasonably easy to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented in an excellent way by relevant images and/or diagrams The presentation is well produced using simple tools The visual content is well matched to the target topic Meta-data The correct title and sub-title (or an abbreviation to fit within the 100 character limit) are used in the name of the presentation — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation A reasonably good written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. Links to and from the book chapter are provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated Provide clickable links to the image sources and license details (e.g., in the description) A copyright license for the presentation is in the description but not in the license field

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:53, 10 November 2024 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:11, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter. It makes very good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem. I suspect that some of this chapter is based on unacknowledged use of genAI output; if so, it violates academic integrity principles Basic use of academic, peer-reviewed citations to support claims In many places, better use could be made of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Well developed Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box with a relevant image Explains the psychological problem or phenomenon reasonably well The focus questions are clear and relevant Theory An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained This chapter does not build on related chapters and/or Wikipedia articles (e.g., by embedding interwiki links for key terms) Very good depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Effective use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help clearly convey key theoretical information Key citations are well used In many places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Very good use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Excellent review of relevant research How strong is the relationship between testosterone and violence? The discussion about how the relationship between testosterone and aggression/violence/violent crime differs between males and females is unclear - is the positive relationship similar or different? In many places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Very good critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Many claims lack sufficient citation (e.g., see the tags) Integration Excellent integration between theory and research Conclusion Very good summary and conclusion Reads like generic genAI output; write more compellingly in your own words Remind the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest Key points are well summarised Address the focus questions Add practical, take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is OK but there are some aspects which are below professional standard The target audience is international, not domestic. Only 0.3% of the world human population lives in Australia. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections See earlier comments about heading casing Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) Consider using a grammar checking tool Another option is to use a services provided by UC, such as Studiosity Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance Check and correct use of semi-colons Check and make correct use of commas Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[2] Spelling Some words are misspelt (e.g., see the tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour) Proofreading More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard Remove unnecessary capitalisation – more info APA style Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99) Figures Well/ captioned Use this format for captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption goes here in sentence casing. See example. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style Tables Use APA style for captions (see example) Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text Citations use excellent APA style (7th ed.), but should be used more often to support claims References use excellent APA style: Learning features Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient use of learning features No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Basic use of figure(s) Basic use of table(s) Reasonably good use of feature box(es) Reasonably good use of scenarios, case studies, or examples Reasonably good use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) Good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Use alphabetical order Good use of external links in the "External links" section Use sentence casing Use alphabetical order Social contribution No logged contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:11, 18 November 2024 (UTC)