Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Sublimation

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:52, 2 October 2022 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted User page Created – minimal, but sufficient Very brief description about self provided – consider expanding Add description about self Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with direct link(s) to evidence – this was covered in Tutorial 03. Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see how to earn marks for social contributions. Headings Basic, 1-level heading structure – would benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings Key points Basic development of key points for some sections Overview - Consider adding: an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered focus questions an image an example or case study Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Consider including more examples/case studies Conclusion (the most important section): Hasn't been developed What might the take-home, practical messages be? In a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions? Figure A relevant figure is not presented Cite each figure at least once in the main text References Move these non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section References should be academic peer-reviewed sources Use APA style (e.g., remove "Retrieved from ..." Resources See also Not developed External links Not developed

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:52, 2 October 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter I suspect that the recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours were not invested in preparing this chapter. Well under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand The main areas for potential improvement are: Address the question "How can sublimation be fostered?" Provide a more indepth review of relevant research Incorporate more learning features For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Basic Overview Briefly explains the problem or phenomenon Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest Basic focus question(s). Address sub-title (e.g., how can it be fostered?) Theory – Breadth Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided There is too much general theoretical material (e.g., about id, ego, super-ego). Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) There was no discussion about how sublimation can be fostered (part of the sub-title) Theory – Depth Basic depth is provided about the selected theory(ies) Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research – Key findings Insufficient review of relevant research Research – Critical thinking Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Integration There is insufficient integration between theory and research Conclusion Basic summary Basic take-home message(s) How can sublimation be fostered? Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. "People" is often a better term than "individuals" Reduce use of weasel words which bulk out the text but don't enhance meaning Layout Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings See earlier comments about heading casing Provide more descriptive headings (e.g., consider using a brief description of the key point for the section titled "*"?) Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Use serial commas[2] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min) Check and correct use of that vs. who Remove unnecessary capitalisation (e.g., ID and Id should instead be id). APA style Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10) Figures Figures are captioned Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1) Citations use correct APA style References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[3] Check and correct use of italicisation Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section Written expression – Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is insufficient No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Basic use of image(s) No use of table(s) Basic use of feature box(es) No use of quiz(zes) Limited use of case studies or examples No use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Basic use of external links in the "External links" section. Include sources in parentheses. Use bullet-points per Tutorial 02. Social contribution No logged social contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:46, 5 November 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it fails to address the topic: "What is sublimation and how can it be fostered?" The presentation is over the max time limit. Content beyond 3 mins has been ignored for marking purposes Overview An opening slide with the title is displayed. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. This presentation has a basic introduction to engage audience interest Consider briefly explaining why this topic is important Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation in insufficiently focused on the target topic The presentation mostly focuses on the id, ego, and superego, with little mention of sublimation and how it can be fostered. The initial example and the last 10 seconds (2:50 to 3:00) has some focus on sublimation. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion) The selection of content is poor because it doesn't adequately use the most relevant psychological theory and/or research to address the topic The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with basic take-home message(s) Content beyond 3:00 mins was ignored for marking purposes Audio Remove the first 5 secs The audio is reasonably easy to follow The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio Audio communication is well paced Basic intonation The audio communication is hesitant in some places — could benefit from further practice The presentation lacks the polish that comes with practice Audio recording quality was good. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard and/or mouse clicks were audible). Consider using an external microphone. The narrated content is poorly matched to the target topic (see content) Video Cut out the first 5 seconds Hide cursor Overall, visual display quality is basic The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams The presentation is basically produced using simple tools The visual content is poorly matched to the target topic (see content) Meta-data The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access A link from the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources are communicated in a font that is too small to read, so it is very hard to tell whether copyright has been respected Ideally, provide clickable links to the original image sources (e.g., in the description) A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:26, 8 November 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission feedback

1. This resubmission was reviewed. See my copyedits. The main changes were:
   1. There are minor improvements to the introduction, including improvement to one of the focus questions
   2. Learning features: A couple of inter-wiki links to Wikipedia and Wikiversity pages have been added
   3. A basic attempt has been made to better address the question of how sublimation can be fostered, but a limited understanding of fostering sublimation as a mature defensive mechanism (compared to immature defensive mechanisms) is still evident
   4. There was some minor expansion of description of two research studies
2. Written style
   1. Use 3rd perspective perspective instead of 1st person perspective

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:26, 28 November 2022 (UTC)