Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Cultural influences on shame, guilt, and pride

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is missing Remove author name – authorship is as assigned on the list of topics and per the page's editing history User page Not created – see Tutorial 01 Add description about self Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with direct link(s) to evidence – looking ahead to the book chapter submission see how to earn marks for social contribution Headings No development Key points No development Figure A figure is not presented References None Resources See also No development External links No development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:11, 21 September 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter The main areas for potential improvement are: Reduce general emotion theory and move earlier to directly address the topic Use more specific theory A more comprehensive use of the best available academic peer-reviewed research on this topic is needed I suspect that the recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours were not invested in preparing this chapter. Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section Under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Basic Overview Briefly explains the problem or phenomenon Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest Basic focus question(s) Theory – Breadth Insufficient use of more specific psychological theory about this topic There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). This chapter starts to address the topic with the section titled "How does culture influence us and our emotions?" (which is too little, too late) Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Theory – Depth Insufficient depth of use of relevant psychological theory Research – Key findings Insufficient use of relevant psychological research Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful Research – Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Integration Insufficient integration of relevant theory and research Conclusion Basic summary Add practical, take-home message(s) for each focus question Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [1][2] Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[3] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see tags) Grammar Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats') Check and correct use of affect vs. effect Proofreading More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard APA style Direct quotes need double quotation marks and page numbers – even better, write in your own words Figures Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation) Tables Table captions should use APA style. See example Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1) Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: When there are two authors, separate the names using and or ampersand (when in parentheses) Remove italics If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References are not in full APA style. For example: Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section Check and correct use of capitalisation[4] Check and correct use of italicisation Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Include hyperlinked dois etc. Written expression – Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is basic No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Citations and links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section Basic use of image(s). Increase image size for diagrams so that they are easier to read. Very good use of table(s) Basic use of feature box(es) Basic use of quiz(zes). The questions should be about the take-away messages for the role of culture in these emotions. Basic of case studies or examples Good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Basic use of external links in the "External links" section Social contribution No logged social contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:56, 5 November 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation Overview Display and narrate a slide with the same title and sub-title as the book chapter to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation This presentation has an opening scenario to hook audience interest. Ideally, provide an example of cultural differences in GSP. A context for the topic is established Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion) The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological research Include citations to support claims The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic summary Audio The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio Basic intonation Audio recording quality was excellent/very good/good Audio recording quality was OK. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard and/or mouse clicks were audible). Consider using an external microphone. Video Overall, visual display quality is good The presentation makes basic use of animated slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The amount of text presented per slide could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time The video resolution could be higher to improve acuity The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams The presentation is basically produced using PowToon Use APA style for citations (e.g., use et al. for 3 or more authors) Meta-data The video title does not match the chapter title and sub-title — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and be more consistent A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access A link from the book chapter is provided The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This introduces limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:44, 12 November 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission feedback

1. These changes were reviewed. Overall, there is a moderate improvement to the chapter. See these copyedits plus comments below.
2. Approximately 1700 words have been added; the chapter is now well over the maximum word count, so the last ~900 words have been ignored for marking purposes (i.e., from Conclusion onwards)
3. Overview
4. Figure 1 was added or moved into the Overview
   1. Somewhat improved
   2. Grammatical and written expression errors
   3. Focus questions lacked sufficient clarity and focus; have revised
5. Written expression
   1. People is often a better choice of word than individuals
   2. The title and sub-title were correct, but this edit made it incorrect; so, I've fixed it
   3. Colons were incorrectly added to the headings; these have been fixed
   4. Direct quotes are over-used, especially from non-peer-reviewed sources. Consider expressing ideas in your own words.
   5. Over-reliance on non-peer-reviewed academic sources
6. Grammar
   1. Numerous grammatical errors remain or have been introduced
   2. Use serial commas, per APA style
   3. that vs. who
   4. Use double quotation marks (rather than single quotation marks) to introduce a new word or phrase
   5. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st person perspective
7. Citations
   1. Use APA style (e.g., (Muris, Meesters, 2014) is not APA style; neither is (Lehman,et al 2003); nor (Sabiston, C.M, Castonguay, A.L, 2014))

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:43, 27 November 2022 (UTC)