Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Connection to country and well-being

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

1. Title The title and/or sub-title were not correctly worded and/or formatted (fixed) 2. Headings Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development Adopt closer alignment between sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings The Overview and Conclusion should not have sub-headings Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings 3. Overview Move the scenario or case study into a feature box (with an image) to the start of this section to help catch reader interest A brief, evocative description of the problem/topic is provided Use 3rd person perspective (except 1st/2nd person can work for feature boxes/scenarios) Present focus questions in a feature box at the end of this section 4. Key points Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations For sections which include sub-sections, include the key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings Strive for an integrated balance of the best psychological theory and research about this topic, with practical examples Conclusion (the most important section): Underway What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?) 5. Figure One or more relevant figure(s) is/are presented The figure caption(s) could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text using APA style (e.g., see Figure 1) 6. Learning feature Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters (see Tutorial 2) Consider use of one or more scenarios/examples/case studies Consider including one or more quiz question(s) about the take-home messages Also consider using one or more tables to summarise key information 7. References OK Needs proofreading Are there any systematic reviews about this topic? Check and correct APA referencing style: capitalisation italicisation make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable) use dois where available instead of other links page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Use APA style or wiki referencing style, but not both. Currently, a mixture of referencing styles is used. 8. Resources See also Not developed – needs work (see Tutorial 2) External links Very good Use alphabetical order 9. User page Basic – see Tutorial 02 Very brief description about self – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter 10. Social contribution X using the #emot24 None summarised on user page with direct link(s) to evidence (see Tutorial 03). Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:11, 26 August 2024 (UTC)

Suggested references

Fatima, Y., Liu, Y., Cleary, A., Dean, J., Smith, V., King, S., & Solomon, S. (2023). Connecting the health of country with the health of people: application of" caring for country" in improving the social and emotional well-being of Indigenous people in Australia and New Zealand. The Lancet Regional Health–Western Pacific, 31.

Kingsley, J., Townsend, M., Henderson-Wilson, C., & Bolam, B. (2013). Developing an exploratory framework linking Australian Aboriginal peoples’ connection to country and concepts of wellbeing. International journal of environmental research and public health, 10(2), 678-698.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:13, 18 September 2024 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter This chapter currently reads like an early draft and lacks sufficient literature review This chapter is too general and lacks sufficient evidence of being based on the best psychological theory and research about this topic. Rewrite to more exclusively focus on the relationship between "Connection to Country" and "Wellbeing" Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations (e.g., see the tags) Move embedded non-peer-reviewed links into the External links section For citations, use APA style or wiki style, but not both Under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Reasonably good Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box with a relevant image The scenario could be improved by focusing more specifically on CC and WB Explains the psychological problem or phenomenon; provide more detail Provide focus questions in a feature box to help guide the reader (fixed by moving the questions into the Overview) The focus questions are reasonably well developed but perhaps lack direct focus on the target topic (the sub-title) Theory A basic range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Expand about the SEWB framework; it offers an ideal (simple, clear, recognised) way to review and synthesise the best psychological theory and research about each of those domains in relation to CtC Terminology in this space is challenging to navigate. First Nations could refer to descendents from original peoples in different places and countries, not just Australia. So, be careful to distinguish which group is being referred to. Builds on one previous, related chapter and/or Wikipedia article To improve the chapter, build more strongly on related Wikipedia articles and book chapters by including more embedded links for key terms Insufficient depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) More reading is needed to inform development of this chapter Expand about the SEWB framework; this is where the gold lays Some use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help convey key theoretical information Bullet points are over-used In some places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Insufficient use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Insufficient review of relevant research More detail about key studies would be ideal In some places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be furher evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Many claims lack sufficient citation (e.g., see the tags) Integration Insufficient integration between theory and research Insufficient integration with related chapters: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Indigenous/Australian Conclusion Basic summary and conclusion Insufficient as a cohesive summary of the best available psychological theory and research about the topic Add practical, take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic Use active (e.g., "this chapter explores") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [1][2] Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Communicate one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences. Develop the bullet point statements into full sentences and paragraphs Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[3] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking Grammar The grammar for some/many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) Consider using a grammar checking tool Another option is to use a services provided by UC, such as Studiosity Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance Check and make correct use of commas Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[4] Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour) APA style Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, communicate about concepts in your own words Figures Reasonably well captioned Use this format for captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption goes here in sentence casing. See example. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1) Citations use basic APA style (7th ed.) References use basic APA style: Check and correct use of capitalisation[5] Check and correct use of italicisation Include hyperlinked dois Remove "Retrieved ..." Move non-peer reviewed links into the External links section Learning features Insufficient use of learning features One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Move links to non-peer-reviewed sources to the External links section Reasonably good use of figure(s) One use of table(s) - it needs an APA style caption and to be referred to at least once in the text (e.g., see Table 1) Basic use of feature box(es) Limited/no use of scenarios, case studies, or examples Good use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) Very basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Use alphabetical order Reasonably good use of external links in the "External links" section Use alphabetical order Two different styles are used; choose one style Social contribution No logged contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:05, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Resubmission comments:

1. The chapter has been improved primarily by enhancing the focus on the SEWB framework and reviewing some related research

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:04, 27 November 2024 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation Overview An opening slide with the title is displayed. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest (e.g., by introducing a case study or scenario) Establish a context for the presentation (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory It is unclear why SDT is used instead of using theoretical frameworks that have been developed in First Nations contexts in Australia The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research The presentation makes no use of citations to support claims The presentation makes no use of one or more examples The presentation could be improved by providing practical advice The presentation provides easy to understand information Conclusion The conclusion provides a basic summary of the most relevant psychological theory and research about this topic Audio The audio is easy to follow The presentation makes reasonably good use of narrated audio Audio communication is well paced Reasonably good intonation The narration is well practiced and/or performed Audio recording quality was very good The narrated content is reasonably well matched to the target topic but lacked synthesis of the best psychological theory and research about this topic Video Overall, visual display quality is reasonably good The presentation makes reasonably good use of text and image based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read Consider using a sans-serif typeface to make the text easier to read The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented in a reasonably good way by images and/or diagrams The presentation is reasonably well produced using simple tools The visual content is reasonably well matched to the target topic but lacked synthesis of the best psychological theory and research about this topic Meta-data The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Provide a written description of the presentation to help potential viewers decide whether or not to watch Excellent use of time codes Links to and from the book chapter are provided A link to the book chapter is not provided A link from the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not clearly indicated The presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement. This is a particular issue in the Indigenous space. A copyright license for the presentation is not clearly indicated

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:59, 5 November 2024 (UTC)

Resubmission comments:

1. Overview improved
2. Over the maximum time; content beyond 3 minutes has been ignored for marking and feedback purposes
3. The content focus on more relevant theory has been improved
4. No focus on research
5. Audio/video are more targetted
6. Meta-data improved
7. Still no acknowledgement of image sources or copyright license

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:18, 11 November 2024 (UTC)