Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Work and passion

Heading casing

Hi Mittali Vaidya. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:25, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

Thank you James for correcting me

--Mittali Vaidya (discuss • contribs) 10:41, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title Excellent User page Excellent - used effectively Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. You are clearly engaged and contributing across multiple platforms despite the challenges during lockdown Headings Promising 2-level heading structure Check and correct grammar Key points Use bullet points (see Tutorial 1 - Using Wikiversity) For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings. Overview - Consider adding: an example or case study Well-selected theories User British/Australian spelling (e.g., emphasized -> emphasised) Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style) - even better, write in your own words. Key points are well developed for most, but not all, sections, with relevant citations. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Figure A figure is presented. Caption should include Figure X. (in italics) ... Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation Resources Very good Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:46, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Rephrasing suggestion

Hi Mittali! you're making really good progress with your chapter! definitely looking forward to reading the rest of it! I have a minor suggestion for re-wording the first sentence in your overview. It's a little hard to understand the message you're trying to convey. Maybe try something along the lines of "Work is a crucial element in our daily lives, however nearly half of our working life is monopolized by trivial things such as travel time and years spent training". Hope this helps! I look forward to reading more on work and passion! --U3187874 (discuss • contribs) 08:08, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

Corrective suggestions

Hi Mittali, I saw that you put your chapter link on the discussion page for people to review so I thought I would have a look. Overall you have done some very good work and your chapter is very interesting, but I have put a number of clarification templates into your page. I wanted to provide as much help as possible so I was a bit nit-picky, which I hope you don't mind. I have some general comments, and then I have listed areas I identified for correction and provided a bit more detail on potential rectifications. The detailed list (1-23) is in the order they occur in the chapter:

General Points:

• You should look at adding more references to your first few paragraphs. I have been fixing up old book chapters for my social contributions, and a lot of the errors noted by the markers in them are related to not providing references for sentences.
• There is a very deep and well-rounded level of explanation of the psychological theories
• Good use of subheadings
• Effective use of case studies that assist understanding the themes
• Well-chosen figures and pictures, however, ensure you reference each figure in the text
• I like the table that matches the researchers to their theories

Details for corrections

1. …”value to people and makes up an important part of their personality”
2. “…meaningful to them.”
3. Used American spelling for characterise
4. Possible alternative: “by a continuous goal-oriented process and is a psychological phenomenon that translates ability into performance.”
5. Capital F
6. I would remove the section “on individuals life” and simply say “….focuses on the relationship between work and passion and the significant role of passion in people's lives…”
7. Perhaps put: “…the different models, including the dualistic model of passion….”
8. Might need to explain what you mean here: (harmoniously)?
9. Perhaps a more clarifying sentence to suggest what you mean by “weak”. You could elaborate on what ‘weak’ results would be, or possibly say “…to achieve these great results, or not achieving them to the desired level (or degree).”
10. Significance
11. May need to clarify what you mean here (“…working hours…”)
12. “highlighting”
13. “have”
14. “Everything has been together without our…” – Might need to rewrite this to provide a clearer meaning
15. ‘Fascinates’ instead of fascinating
16. ‘Passionate’ instead of passion
17. Should this say ‘impossible’ instead of ‘possible’?
18. “Universally related”. Missing something here?
19. “…essential for them freely without a certain or minor conditions.” – A little bit muddled at the end here
20. “…performing an action or…”. - I would remove ‘or’
21. “As per John”. - This needs to be a bit clearer
22. “is the motivation that come”. - ‘Comes’ instead of come
23. “inspired are simple”. – ‘simply’

(U3186267 (discuss • contribs) 00:27, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi U3186267 ,

I really appreciate your effort through pointing out few errors on my book chapter. Yes, I will have a look at it and rearrange it.

Again thank you so much.

Mittali Mittali Vaidya (discuss • contribs) 03:35, 7 October 2021 (UTC)

Figures

Hi Mittali, I made some minor edits to your figure labels (italicisation). However, I noticed that you have four images but your fourth figure is labelled as 'Figure 5'. Just wanted to bring this to your attention in case you didn't realise. I didn't want to change your numbering just in case you were planning on putting in a fourth image. --U3205964 (discuss • contribs) 01:57, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a borderline sufficient chapter. The main areas for potential improvement are: Greater focus directly on the topic (passion and work) The quality of written expression (including grammar) More indepth review of research For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview A reasonable Overview Consider introducing an example or case study Convert key points into focus questions Clarity of written expression can be improved (e.g., see my copyedits) Theory — Breadth Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided. There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). Theory — Depth Reasonable depth is provided about the selected theory(ies), but the theories are quite general. Ideally discussion of the theories would be applied more specifically to work and passion. Key citations are well used. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research — Key findings Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of relevant psychological research. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships suggesting specific directions for future research Integration The chapter places more emphasis on theory than research. Where research is discussed, it is integrated with theory. Conclusion A basic, general summary is provided. Consider: Reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest. Adding practical, take-home messages. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. UC Study Skills and/or Studiosity assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills. Bold and italics are overused. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., he/she -> they). Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Layout The structure is a bit confusing (e.g., Why isn't SDT within the theoretical frameworks section? Why are the types of passion discussed separately to the dualistic model of passion section?) Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min). Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3]. Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour). APA style Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words. Figures and tables Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., check and correct capitalisation). Use APA style for Table captions. See example. Each Table and Figure is referred to at least once within the main text. Citations use correct APA style. References use correct APA style. Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is basic. The Links section was too vague/general (deleted). Relevant links should be included instead in the See also and External links sections. Promising use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Preferably use embedded links to Wikiversity and/or Wikipedia pages and move external links into the External links section. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). Basic use of table(s). Good use of feature box(es). Basic use of quiz(zes). The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end. Good use of case studies or examples. Social contribution ~21 logged, useful, minor/moderate/major social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:04, 4 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation because it doesn't directly address the topic: "work and passion". Instead, it provides an overview of self-determination theory and work. Overview The sub-title is missing on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Focus questions are presented. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section. This presentation doesn't adequately address the topic: "Work and passion: What is the relationship between work and passion?". An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content. The presentation is well structured. The selection of content is problematic because it doesn't directly address the topic. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological theory and research (e.g., see https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=work+passion). Conclusion The Conclusion doesn't provide an adequate response to the topic (e.g., the conclusion doesn't refer to passion). Audio The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio. Audio communication is well paced. Audio recording quality was very good. The narrated content isn't well matched to the target topic. Video Overall, visual display quality is good. The presentation makes basic use of animated slides with text and images. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Consider using a non-serif font so that it is easier to read. The presentation is well produced. The visual content isn't well matched to the target topic. Meta-data The chapter title but not the sub-title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Probably the images are all from PowToon but this is not explicitly stated. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:30, 17 November 2021 (UTC)