Latest comment: 3 years ago4 comments3 people in discussion
Hi! I am quite interested in your topic and from some quick research have found another resource you may enjoy reading and/or using. Jory MacKay has a blog about time management (I have placed two links in your working notes for ease) and an interesting question asked is if time management varies across cultures. I also added a link to SDT to help your chapter be a little interactive. Hope this suggestion help!--U3167879 (discuss • contribs) 12:36, 19 September 2021 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Description about self provided, including to external profile
Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure. Currently, there are second-level headings in bold, but they are not appearing the table of contents because heading styles haven't been applied.
writing a description of the problem and what will be covered
focus question about the EM
an image
the topic is the EM rather than other TM techniques - link to other chapters for other approaches
Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. For example, there is a no need for a general section about motivation theories - instead briefly summarise any that are directly relevant to explaining and understanding the EM and link to related book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles for further info. Then focus on psychological theory and research about the practice and efficacy of the EM.
For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
Rather than direct quotes, write in your own words
Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
Conclusion (the most important section):
promising
what might the take-home, practical messages be?
in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?
Latest comment: 3 years ago2 comments2 people in discussion
Hey there! I did a quick word count after proofing your chapter for any grammar and spelling mistakes (I didn't find many by the way!) and noticed you are already at 4084 words. I have a few suggestion for cutting down on the content to ensure you have enough spare words for your conclusion.
Try adding dot points in your sections and this way you can cut out a lot of unnecessary extra sentence words.
In the improving motivational lives section I think you can cut down on a lot of the info by linking to other chapters and wiki pages and just including a few short sentences and dot points?
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
Some awkward expression can be improved (e.g., "inclusive of" -> "including").
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
"People" is often a better term than "individuals".
Layout
Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold).
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words.
Figures and tables
Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
Overall, the use of learning features is very good.
Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # Excellent/ use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters.
Good use of image(s).
Excellent use of table(s).
Excellent use of feature box(es).
No use of quiz(zes).
No use of case studies or examples.
Monopoly metaphor/game was interesting and creative, but I think it could more powerful to provide practical examples/case studies of the EM being applied in real life.
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
The audio is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to listen to.
The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio.
Audio communication is clear and well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
Excellent intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.