The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Logical, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development of the "Funerals and grief work" section - consider adding more sub-headings because this section directly addresses the target topic.
Sections 3 and 4 could be sub-headings of Section 2?
Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections.
Consider adding case studies/examples - it could be interesting to highly funeral grief work in different cultures - e.g., Indigenous Australian "sorry business"
Overview - Consider adding:
an example or case study
Avoid providing too much background information (e.g., about grief work or funerals as stand-alone concepts). Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title (i.e., funerals and grief work). Having said this, it could also be helpful to briefly introduce "grief" and link to related book chapter(s) and/or Wikipedia pages.
Include more in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
u3200789 15 Oct 3:39pm - Hi there, I noticed you mentioned COVID-19 effects but you didn't really go into depth. I have found this source https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0030222820941296 "How do funeral Practices Impact Bereaved Relatives' Mental Health, Grief, and Bereavement? A Mixed Methods Review with Implications for COVID-19. I think this could be very useful for your book chapter. You could also look into the effects on grief for healthcare workers.
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1].
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Layout
The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
Learning features
Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Good use of image(s).
Good use of table(s).
Excellent use of feature box(es).
Excellent use of quiz(zes).
Grammar
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags) e.g., the heading "What is grief work" should end with a question mark.
Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
Figures and tables
Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., "see" should be in lower case).
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
