Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Funerals and grief work

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Excellent User page Excellent - used effectively Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Section headings Logical, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development of the "Funerals and grief work" section - consider adding more sub-headings because this section directly addresses the target topic. Sections 3 and 4 could be sub-headings of Section 2? Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections. Key points Overall, well developed Consider adding case studies/examples - it could be interesting to highly funeral grief work in different cultures - e.g., Indigenous Australian "sorry business" Overview - Consider adding: an example or case study Avoid providing too much background information (e.g., about grief work or funerals as stand-alone concepts). Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title (i.e., funerals and grief work). Having said this, it could also be helpful to briefly introduce "grief" and link to related book chapter(s) and/or Wikipedia pages. Include more in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Conclusion (the most important section): what might the take-home, practical messages be? Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption uses APA style. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation Resources See also Very good External links Very good Target an international audience; Australians only represent 0.33% of the world population

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:20, 20 September 2020 (UTC)

Social Contribution

u3200789 15 Oct 3:39pm - Hi there, I noticed you mentioned COVID-19 effects but you didn't really go into depth. I have found this source https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0030222820941296 "How do funeral Practices Impact Bereaved Relatives' Mental Health, Grief, and Bereavement? A Mixed Methods Review with Implications for COVID-19. I think this could be very useful for your book chapter. You could also look into the effects on grief for healthcare workers.

Small thing

Just noticed that it might be a tiny bit too long. Like 4470 ish words if you dump it into a word processor. Good work!

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1]. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Learning features Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). Good use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) e.g., the heading "What is grief work" should end with a question mark. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video. Proofreading Replace double spaces with single spaces. APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures and tables Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., "see" should be in lower case). Use APA style for Table captions. See example. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of commas e.g., (Parkes, & Prigerson, 2010) should be (Parkes & Prigerson, 2010) References use very good APA style. Some double-checking needed to fix typos. Social contribution ~21 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence Thankyou for your valued social contributions - much appreciated! Bonus marks added.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:45, 15 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent/very good/reasonably good/basic presentation. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it presents too much content visually and auditorily. This presentation makes creative/effective use of simple tools. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. Excellent focus questions. Excellent selection of key points. The presentation is well structured. The presentation makes excellent use of theory. The presentation makes good use would be research. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Communication The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to. The presentations makes excellent use of Moovly. Well paced. Excellent greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and video. Production quality The video is very well produced. The title and sub-title are presented in both the name of the presentation and on the opening slide. Audio recording quality was excellent. Visual display quality was excellent. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided (cut off?). Consider exporting to YouTube which probably has better presentation settings. A copyright license for the presentation is provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:01, 22 November 2020 (UTC)