Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Outdoor education and the self

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Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:48, 23 August 2018 (UTC)

Some Psychological Bases, & Aspects of Outward Bound[edit]

An oldie, but a goodie - https://eric.ed.gov/?q=Anxiety&pg=1302&id=ED209043. Email me for a pdf. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:50, 23 August 2018 (UTC)


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Very good

Section headings[edit]

  1. Logical, 2-level structure
  2. Perhaps "What causes changes" and "Theories" could be combined, with sub-sections added for different theories?
  3. Probably put Walsh and Golins before 6 generations of facilitation
  4. Use APA style for quotes (i.e., double rather than single quotation marks)

Key points[edit]

  1. Overview - the key focus question for this chapter (based on the sub-title) is "what are the effects of OE on self-constructs?" - that's fundamentally what the Conclusion needs to deliver on. But a secondary question, along the way, could be "what the mechanisms/processes through which such changes are facilitated?", which allows review/use of theory. However, don't let pursuit of the latter question become a distraction or undermine addressing the first question.
  2. OE - this section could be strengthened by expanding on the last dot point and focusing in on how/why OE connects to the self and changing aspects of the self. Priest and Gass purposes of AE may be helpful here - e.g., see http://www.wilderdom.com/definitions/MethodPurpose.html, with detail on pp. 6-10 of https://www.wilderdom.com/wiki/PhD.
  3. Theories
    1. make sure, if discussing OE theories, that they are used to help address the topic (i.e., what are the effects of OE on self-constructs)
    2. perhaps consider using cognitive dissonance theory - e.g., OE seeks to introduce a discrepancy between actual and ideal to help motivate pursuit of change towards ideal, and provides challenging goals and support to help provide rich opportunity and feedback towards manifesting an ideal self etc. Dissonance is mentioned in the Walsh and Golins model, but is just one part - it could be worth narrowing in on this part and de-emphasising the overall model (can point to references with more detail).
  4. Conclusion - currently underdeveloped, but will be the single most important section - provides a condensed summary of the best available answer to the question, based on psychological theory and research

Image[edit]

  1. Good. Figure 2 is better because the caption connects more clearly to the chapter topic.

References[edit]

  1. Well developed.
  2. Use APA style.

Resources[edit]

  1. See also - Very good. Outdoor education (Wikipedia) is probably more appropriate than the OB link (and would go in this section, rather than References).
  2. External links - Select with an international audience in mind.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:03, 28 September 2018 (UTC)

Evidence review report[edit]

This new review may be of interest: Evidence Review: An evaluation of the impact of adventure learning and leadership programmes on young people’s self-esteem, self-confidence and resilience -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:35, 4 October 2018 (UTC)

Cheers James, looks good. Nice and recent also! --Foley.d (discusscontribs) 01:57, 5 October 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion for overview section[edit]

Hi Dot

Your page on OE is really interesting and after reading it I wish I had done this subject at school!

A suggestion I'd make is to find a way to introduce the topic without explicitly outlining what you will discuss in the body of the work. You have already done this in the first paragraph of the overview section and I think it makes for a more interesting and informative read U3037801 (discusscontribs) 02:50, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestion, will see how I can strip it down.--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 05:37, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Feedback on overview and outdoor education sections[edit]

Overview provides a great outline of the topic, with good detail and raising the relevant questions. Sentence structure is good. You could consider adding focus questions to provide the reader with a direct and clearer view on what you are covering in the chapter.

Outdoor education chapter provided good detail on the background of Outdoor education. I particularly liked the linking between this chapter and self-constructs. Potentially having another image of an outdoor example linking with the history provided may help illustrate the points visually.

u3144311 - 3:30, 8th October 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestion and feedback! I was trying to figure out what would be another good picture so will see what I can find.--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 05:40, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Effects and causes[edit]

@Foley.d:, regarding your email query about the topic development feedback: "Overview - the key focus question for this chapter (based on the sub-title) is "what are the effects of OE on self-constructs?" - that's fundamentally what the Conclusion needs to deliver on. But a secondary question, along the way, could be "what the mechanisms/processes through which such changes are facilitated?", which allows review/use of theory. However, don't let pursuit of the latter question become a distraction or undermine addressing the first question."

Since the topic is currently "what are the effects of OE on self-constructs?", the chapter should focus on answering this question. Also addressing what causes such effects is interesting/useful to the extent that it informs and strengthens the answer to the core question, but watch out for getting sidetracked into tackling the causal question if it is pursued to the detriment of addressing the core topic. An alternative approach could be to renegotiate to expand the chapter topic to something like "What is the effect of outdoor education on self-constructs and what mechanisms facilitate these effects?". Sincerely, -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:36, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Examples of population groups[edit]

Hi, this is a really interesting topic. As someone who used to work in OE the applications it has for individuals with disabilities are amazing. It is also challenging and rewarding for those who work in OE to work with those who are disabled, particularly children. Here is an article exploring this "Sugerman, D. (2001). Inclusive outdoor education: Facilitating groups that include people with disabilities. Journal of Experiential Education, 24(3), 166-172." More examples throughout your well developed paragraphs would strengthen your chapter. All the best, Chantelle (u3141099). --Chantellej 12 (discusscontribs) 06:23, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Chantelle, thanks for the link! Cheers, Dot --Foley.d (discusscontribs) 21:07, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Interactive activity[edit]

Hi Foley.d, The way you are putting all the information together is awesome. I would suggest you to add a quiz as an interactive activity to your book-chapter. This will engage readers in a more effective way. Best of luck. U3149294. --TarunSharma23 - (discusscontribs) 00:56, 12 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Tarun. I decided to go with a case study as my more interactive bit, but thanks for the feedback that it needed something! Cheers, Dot.--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 11:31, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

Hyperlinks and case studies[edit]

Hello Dot,

This page is coming along fantastically. I can tell you have put in a lot of research and are definitely interested in this topic. However, it would be nice to see some more hyperlinked words to other pages just for further information for the reader. This also may save yourself words by not having such lengthy descriptions of concepts. I also think that case studies would be an interesting addition to the page. Such as when stating intrinsic and extrinic motivation, it may be helpful for all readers to have an short explanation of what these are and perhaps a case study example of when or how this motivation would be used.

Overall, it is extremely interesting and I think is a subject that many people would not have an indepth knownledge about. TaylorMal (discusscontribs) 05:56, 14 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Taylor, thanks for the suggestions! I had forgotten to update the hyperlinks as I went so much appreciated, will see if I've got words for a case study also. Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 08:37, 16 October 2018 (UTC)

Some suggestion=[edit]

Hi Dot!

This page is absolutely fantastic! I have a few minor suggestions that you may want to implement. One suggestion is changing some of your files/tables from a right alignment to a left alignment. And another suggestion I have, as previously mentioned, is to add a quiz or two - if you are after a good format for quizzes let me know and I can share mine with you. Good luck with the finalisation of your book chapter! --U3160382 (discusscontribs) 03:05, 19 October 2018 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the feedback. I've shaken things up a bit with the change in alignment as you suggested, and put a case study in there to help with making it more interesting. Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 11:32, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

Social contributions[edit]

Hi Dot! Your chapter is sounding amazing and your passion for outdoor education is really shining through! Thank you for all of the social contributions you have given everyone, you are super helpful. :) I just noticed however that your social contribution list isn't exactly matching the suggested summary layout in the marking rubric. Here's the link to the James's suggested layout. https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter#How_to_make_and_summarise_social_contributions hope this helps :) --Emily Ewart (discusscontribs) 03:48, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Hey Emily, Thanks for the feedback - didn't quite get it all the way there but got things a little better formatted. Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 21:06, 21 October 2018 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a novel chapter which successfully applies psychological therapy to the personal growth processes of outdoor education.
  2. Most of the suggestions that follow are relatively minor.
  3. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. Perhaps a table could be a useful way to organise and communicate key theoretical elements.
  3. The Conclusion helps to draw together the theoretical threads.

Research[edit]

  1. Good use is made of meta-analyses.
  2. Some specific studies are described, although I'm dubious that much can be gained from comparing two studies with different methodologies. Sometimes there is probably too much detail about specific studies, which seems to risk missing the forest for the trees.
  3. There is a healthy and useful blend of psychological and OE research.
  4. Impressively, virtually all research discussed in clearly tied into discussion of theory.
  5. Whilst research on quantitatively measured outcomes/changes is common and useful, perhaps more important to consider would be research using other methods which seek to unpack the process and nature of change to self-constructs (e.g., Scherl's repertory grid / diary study).

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is generally good, if somewhat dry/academic at times.
    1. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Some sentences tend towards being overly long - see my copyedits for examples of how some sentences can be shortened.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    5. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview.
    6. The Conclusion could be strengthened by emphasising the practical, take-home messages.
    7. Select up to the top three citations per point (i.e., avoid citing four or more citations to support a single point).
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are well used.
    2. Images are well used and captioned. Each figure should be referred to at least once in the main text.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. No use of quizzes.
    5. Case studies was helpful; perhaps more illustrative depth could have been added.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
    2. Use serial commas.
  5. APA style is excellent.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Lovely presentation - does an excellent job of capturing the essence of the psychological knowledge about the topic in a fun, accessible, informative way.
  2. Engaging introduction.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Very well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated text, images, and animation with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. The sub-title should also be used on the opening slide.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  4. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:03, 14 November 2018 (UTC)