Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Anorexia nervosa and intrinsic motivation
- 1 Suggestion
- 2 Heading casing
- 3 Topic development feedback
- 4 Topic development copyedits
- 5 Topic development - Section headings (additional feedback)
- 6 Disclaimer section
- 7 Referencing advice
- 8 Minor edits
- 9 Chapter review and feedback
- 10 Multimedia feedback
Heyǃ I thought your chapter was great, just made me think of this video which shows the huge impact eating disorders have not only on the person with the disorder, but also the family and those that surround them. I find a lot of these types of videos are from the US, and this one could impact Aussies a little bit more as it would hit closer to home. It's a topic that needs to be talked about for sure, and these videos increase the awareness of the severity. You could add it to your external links if you think it suits. Here is the link to the videoː https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anDnIvu4FjI&feature=youtu.be --Caroline Gangotena (discuss • contribs) 11:41, 21 October 2018 (UTC)
I really enjoyed reading your chapter. Your figure, showing the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation is a really good way to visualise the difference and I think it's really going to stick in my mind! --Louise Wheeler (discuss • contribs) 10:22, 21 October 2018 (UTC)
Hi, I enjoyed reading your book chapter. I made some corrections in the text and in your references. I suggets going back over your references so that they are in the coorect APA format; such as adding City and State of book publications and adding the URL address your journal references ( this can be done by finding the "dio:" on the journal articles, you can access information here: http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html --GabiK (discuss • contribs) 23:37, 19 October 2018 (UTC)
Hi, very interesting chapter. I would love to see, even if a small mention of it, any treatment options and also the statistics on treatment rates especially when comorbid with something else. Some questions to think about: Implications for treatment? These could be very briefly mentioned in the take home messages in your conclusion. AIHW put out a really informative article on AH. https://www.aihw.gov.au/getmedia/ab86db9d-410a-4c93-89c4-99c8bdbdf125/aihw-aus-221-chapter-3-13.pdf.aspx Good luck. Thanks. Lucy. --Lucy Hanrahan (discuss • contribs) 22:13, 16 October 2018 (UTC)
Hi there, this is an interesting topic you're doing! Firstly I would recommend that you use the template James has provided for everyone to use for your chapter, just for consistency and so you can get better marks! I also found this article that might be of use to you, it talks about anorexia nervosa and also mentions different models and specifically Maslow and his hierarchy of needs which may be relevant to your research. http://web.a.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=10&sid=7d3b06c5-59d1-4883-bafa-93bce9f4101b%40sessionmgr4008 good luck with the chapter! --U3160212 (discuss • contribs) 04:08, 28 August 2018 (UTC)
Hey, looks like your chapter is coming along quite well, ill be following along as im very interested in this topic. It could be useful to talk about the neurological aspects of anorexia, if you find it useful :)Emeraldcahill94 (discuss contribs) 03:44, 31 August 2018 (UTC)
Hey, your chapter sounds really interesting so far. I would like to suggest looking into external social impacts on eating disorder suffers, even as just a side comment, looking into 'Pro-ana' websites might be useful - this article sounds really interesting 'Pro-eating disorder websites:Users' opinions'. Hope your research goes well! --U3117719 (discuss • contribs) 04:41, 1 September 2018 (UTC)
Hey, so far your chapter sounds really interesting, you have already collected so much information. I found a journal that could possibly be of some use and interest to you. It's Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation: the search for optimal motivation and performance by Carol Sansone and Judith M Harackiewicz. Hope your research and book chapter continue going well! CourtneyRadanovich (disscuss contribs) 09:41, 2 September 2018 (UTC)
It may be that strength or ego depletion models of motivation could be worthwhile considering in your writing it could be that they might contrast well with other theories of motivation related to your subject
Great start to your book chapter you might find some useful references to some of my thoughts here:
Hey, you have such an interesting topic! For your external links, there are some great TED talks on anorexia nervosa. This TED talk --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZpcTVqpaPw highlights Catherine's personal experience and gives insight to the intrinsic motivation of anorexia. A journal that might be helpful for the self-determination section is "The Application of Self-Determination Theory" (2013) by Jonathan Matusitz and Jacqueline Martin wrote (DOI: 10.1080/15401383.2013.850392). The article overviews Deci and Ryan's "Self-Determination Theory" and explains the theory in relation to anorexia. Good luck with your chapter! --U3143109 (discuss • contribs) 01:29, 11 October 2018 (UTC)
I would just like to start by saying that you have done an amazing job on this chapter. I think your use of theories, images and statistics really show a high level of anaylsis. I do have one small suggestion, I think a case study might bring a more emotional reaction for the reader. Seeing statistics will give people a logical understanding, but a case study would also draw in attention and emotion from the reader. Also, it appears you having included DOI's in any of your references. You may want to add these. If you need help here is a link http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html Fantastic work overall TaylorMal (discuss • contribs) 23:33, 17 October 2018 (UTC)
|FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:|
Topic development feedback
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via . Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Title, sub-title, TOC
Topic development copyedits
Just noting that I made these suggested topic development copyedits which were removed with your subsequent edit . That may have been unintentional (e.g., you may have pasted in an alternative version using material from your user page). If so, you may still find it useful to review my earlier edits and see which ones may still be relevant and to then make those changes again manually yourself. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:09, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
Topic development - Section headings (additional feedback)
For Topic Development marking purposes, the most recent version of the chapter page prior to the due date was used for marking (see https://en.wikiversity.org/w/index.php?title=Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2018/Anorexia_nervosa_and_intrinsic_motivation&oldid=1915682).
- Avoid headings that aren't part of the recommended structure (see template).
- Consider removing the heading "What is anorexia nervosa?" because this is not the focus for the chapter. Instead, consider providing a brief description of AN (e.g., as part of the Overview or another section) along with a link to a Wikiversity or Wikipedia resource (such as anorexia nervosa) for more detail. Then focus the heading structure and chapter content on summarising and synthesising the best available psychological science about the chapter topic which is "What intrinsic motivational factors contribute to anorexia nervosa?".
- Consider removing or expanding the heading "What is motivation?". Remove if this intended to be a general section about motivation for the same reasons as suggested above in relation to the "What is AN?" heading. Instead, provide a brief description of motivation and link to more dedicated resources for more info such as motivation.
- Consider adding three to five top-level headings which develop and organise psychological science about the chapter topic which is "What IM factors contribute to AN?".
- Consider adding two to five sub-headings which further develop and unpack content in larger proposed sections (optional).
- Add "Conclusion" as a top-level heading, per template
- Add "See also" as a top-level heading, per template
A disclaimer section isn't recommended (e.g., a disclaimer isn't normally presented on academic articles about psychological disorders or health conditions nor is it presented for Wikipedia articles (e.g., anorexia nervosa)). Perhaps a sentence along these lines could be presented as part of the Overview or Conclusion. I suggest sticking with the recommended chapter structure -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:33, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
Your chapter looks fantastic so far! Great work. I just thought I would give you some guidance with APA 6th edition style referencing. If you have used electronic journal articles (that is, you found them online), it is a good idea to add the DOI at the end, so whoever is looking at your book chapter can find the articles used more directly.
Here is the UC Library's guideline, which gives you helpful examples:
I hope this helps!
Hi there, this is a very interesting chapter well done! I've changed anorexia nervosa to AN in your chapter where necessary as it was not consistent, as well as removing the initials of the researchers in your in-text referencing as that does not conform to APA style! Some statements also seem as though they need referencing, and your title seems to have disappeared. Otherwise, well done and good luck! --U3160212 (discuss • contribs) 09:36, 21 October 2018 (UTC)
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by . If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.