Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
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Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Hi. I have provided some comprehensive feedback below:
1. I would initially consider revising the long heading you have:
"2.1 What factors influence how student engagement can be fostered to improve learning?"
-> Far too long.
2. I like the use of the focus question box and the engaging pictures :)
3. Perhaps make figure #2 bigger?
4. You should consider linking words in the text to alternative sources for example in the overview, I would link the words: ""disinterested", "disengaged", "educators". Do this throughout with words that stand out and need defining. For an example see this chapter:
5. I would change the overview. I find it to be quite informal and 'chatty'. An element of this is fine, but I would make it more professional where possible. I would also make it more informative. You need to explicitly say what the chapter will cover, give some more background and nicely summarise what the reader will be reading! Check out the chapter I linked above ^ or alternatively have a look at older chapters.
6. "Table one" title should be below it, as per APA. I really like that you linked the heading in the table to links!!!
7. Consider making headings in the coloured info boxes centred, bold and bigger. I really like the section on SDT because it is colourful and interactive. But you need to make the little headings stand out.
8. I am assuming the autonomy and motivation section is incomplete. I like the pictures throughout, however!
Happy editing :)
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hi,
I saw the link to your book chapter on the discussion page and I have had a look at it for you. I have some general feedback, I have added some clarification templates to the chapter with more detailed descriptions below. The numbered list matches the clarification templates and is in the order they occur in your chapter:
General points:
Great use of focus boxes and examples to aid in the descriptions of the ‘seeds’.
Very well written, and easy to follow and understand, with informative and interesting figures and pictures
Very good idea to have the ‘Key points’ boxes at the end of the sections
You may need to confirm the location of the table caption. In the examples page provided by James, all the titles are at the top of the table, and my referencing guide says the title and 'Table 1' is at the top. The following links show what James has provided:
My resource on secondary referencing for APA 7 says that the word ‘in’ should be used instead of ‘by’
“…pressure and higher enjoyment…” – Should this be “lowers pressure and results in higher enjoyment”?
“…it is elementary for an educator to 'tell' or 'direct' students…” - Perhaps clarify what you are suggesting about this method by saying it is ‘elementary’
“…is a factor the influences…” – change ‘the’ to ‘that’
“Intrinsic motivation fosters the highest level of autonomy (Figure 8) and in the SDT framework, providing scaffolding for autonomy support (AS) in the classroom.” – Some awkwardness in this sentence – Remove ‘and’? Or possibly use “fosters the highest level of autonomy (Figure 8) in the SDT framework, and provides scaffolding for autonomy support (AS) in the classroom”.
“AS is shown by an educator's respect for the students’ opinions and feelings, providing opportunities to choose, encouragement of independent problem-solving, and provision of time for thinking.” – A bit awkward. Perhaps you could say “AS is shown by an educator's respect for the students’ opinions and feelings, the provision of opportunities for choice and time for thinking, and the encouragement of independent problem-solving.
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a very good chapter. It is very well written, makes excellent use of interactive learning features, and provides a cogent, focused theoretical summary. The main area for potential improvement is to provide a more indepth, critical review of relevant research.
For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
A good range of relevant theory is covered. SDT is the primary approach, which is appropriate to the topic. Basic psychological needs theory, including autonomy support are the main foci.
I liked the garden analogy for SDT - but would suggest that it might work better by conceiving a person as a seed, and autonomy, competence, and relatedness as the sunlight, water, and nutrients necessary for growth.
Useful examples and key point summaries are used.
The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
There is little in the way of critical review of research.
Critical thinking could be evidenced by discussing the direction and strength of relationships between constructs of interest, based on empirical research.
Critical thinking could be further evidenced by: considering the strength of relationships.
The conclusion doesn't offer any critique of the existing body of research.
When describing important research findings, include more detail about the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) and results (e.g., size of effect or relationship).
Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
Figures and tables
Images are very well used.
Fantastic that you created and uploaded your own images.
Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
Basic use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section.
Excellent use of image(s).
Excellent use of table(s).
Excellent use of feature box(es).
Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of quiz(zes).
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed. Also narrate the title and sub-title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest.
Establish a context for the topic, to help the viewer understand.
Briefly explain why this topic is important.
Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation.
The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
A written description of the presentation is provided.
Links to and from the book chapter are provided.
The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This introduces limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info.
