Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Emotional eating

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence

Headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, particularly to develop the 2nd level headings
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings

Key points[edit source]

  1. Basic development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. emotion eating - description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. an image
    3. an example or case study
  3. Eating disorders are relevant but not central to the topic - there are many people who eat emotionally who don't have an eating disorder. So, eating disorders could provide an interesting, if somewhat extreme, example of how emotional eating can get out of hand.
  4. Perhaps consider the distinction between regulated eating and unregulated eating.
  5. Perhaps also consider alternative strategies for emotional self-regulation (e.g., exercise).
  6. Promising use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider embedding more links to related book chapters about eating.
  7. Consider including more examples/case studies
  8. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?

Figure[edit source]

  1. Well done on uploading and embedding an image
  2. Check correct capitalisation - the image can be reuploaded to correct
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text

References[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Target an international audience; Australians only represent 0.33% of the world population

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:01, 14 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good presentation.

Overview[edit source]

  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented. Also narrated the title and sub-title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  3. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.

Content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation is well structured.
  5. The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory.
  6. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological research.
  7. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  8. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  9. The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. An audio Conclusion provides some basic take-home messages.
  2. Add a Conclusion slide take-home message(s).

Audio[edit source]

  1. The audio is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation makes good use of narrated audio.
  3. Audio communication is clear.
  4. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences.
  5. Good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement.
  6. Audio recording quality was very good.

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is very good.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams.
  6. The presentation is well produced using simple tools.

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.

Licensing[edit source]

  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:49, 20 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Well under the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Overview[edit source]

  1. Basic Overview.
  2. Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail.
  3. Clear focus question(s).
  4. Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image.

Theory — Breadth[edit source]

  1. Relevant theory is reasonably well explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  3. Build more strongly on other eating-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Eating).

Theory — Depth[edit source]

  1. Basic depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.

Research — Key findings[edit source]

  1. Basic overview of relevant research.
  2. More detail about key studies would be ideal.
  3. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Research — Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Basic critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research

Integration[edit source]

  1. Discussion of theory and research is well integrated.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. Key points are summarised.

Written expression — Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
    4. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet-points into full paragraph format.
    5. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
    6. "People" is often a better term than "individuals".
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured.
  3. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
  4. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    4. Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words.
    5. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
    6. Figures
      1. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
      2. Figure captions use the correct format.
      3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
      4. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    7. Tables
      1. Table captions should use APA style. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1).
    8. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses.
    9. References use correct APA style.
    10. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[3]
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation
      3. Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
      4. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section

Written expression — Learning features[edit source]

  1. Overall, the use of learning features is excellent/very good/good/basic/insufficient.
  2. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Good/Basic use of image(s).
  5. Basic use of table(s).
  6. Good use of feature box(es).
  7. No use of quiz(zes).
  8. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  9. Good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section.
  10. Good use of external links in the "External links" section.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. No logged social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:17, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]