Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hi! This seems like this will develop into an interesting chapter. However, some further proofreading is required as there are several grammatical errors throughout - it may be best to write your drafts in a word document and then copy it over onto Wikiversity as the built-in text editor doesn't have a spellchecker. I've marked a few of these errors in your chapter.
I've noticed you have a sentence in the first paragraph of 'what is culture' which is "Same goes for human social life". This is probably best combined into the previous sentence, as this feels like a fragmented sentence.
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
This chapter "beats around the bush" for ~2000 words (i.e., too much preamble) before starting to directly tackle the target topic in the section titled "Influence of culture on emotion".
A more complete topic development submission could have helped to improve this chapter.
For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
First focus question isn't needed; just briefly summaryise emotion and link to other chapters/articles for this info. Concentrate on the three target emotions and the influence of culture.
Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest.
Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic.
How do the theories of emotion which are described relate to shame, guilt, pride, and culture? (unclear). Remove this general content because it isn't subsequently used in discussion about the target emotions and culture.
Did you consult Cannon-Bard (1927) - it was cited but not listed in the References? If not, it shouldn't be used as a primary citation.
Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
Layout
Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold).
Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
Grammar
The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
APA style
Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
Figures and tables
Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example.
Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Display and narrate the correct title/sub-title to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation and to be consistent with the book chapter.
Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest.
The importance of this topic is explained.
Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.
The correct chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
A link to the book chapter is not provided.
A link from the book chapter was not provided. I've added it.