Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Cultural influences on shame, guilt, and pride

Comments

Hi! This seems like this will develop into an interesting chapter. However, some further proofreading is required as there are several grammatical errors throughout - it may be best to write your drafts in a word document and then copy it over onto Wikiversity as the built-in text editor doesn't have a spellchecker. I've marked a few of these errors in your chapter.

I've noticed you have a sentence in the first paragraph of 'what is culture' which is "Same goes for human social life". This is probably best combined into the previous sentence, as this feels like a fragmented sentence.

Best of luck! --U3190229 (discuss • contribs) 07:11, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Tidy title

Hi, I just adjusted the title to make it just a bit cleaner and less crowded, but also adjust one grammatical mistake in the title. --Takudzwa14 (discuss • contribs) 05:15, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Missing User page Created Description about self Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Summarised with indirect links to evidence. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Section headings Under-developed, 1-level heading structure - develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the largest section(s). Key points Overview - Consider adding: focus questions. an image. a case study. Remove or adapt generic template content. Under-development of key points for each section. Lack of theory and research. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section. Image None References None Resources None

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:07, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. The main areas for potential improvement are: Shorten to within the maximum word count. Reduce the amount of general, background information. Provide a more detailed review of relevant research. Integrate more closely with other related chapters. Improve the quality of written expression by fixing grammatical errors. Over the maximum word count. This chapter "beats around the bush" for ~2000 words (i.e., too much preamble) before starting to directly tackle the target topic in the section titled "Influence of culture on emotion". A more complete topic development submission could have helped to improve this chapter. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Basic Overview. First focus question isn't needed; just briefly summaryise emotion and link to other chapters/articles for this info. Concentrate on the three target emotions and the influence of culture. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest. Many grammatical errors - seems rushed? Theory — Breadth Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic. How do the theories of emotion which are described relate to shame, guilt, pride, and culture? (unclear). Remove this general content because it isn't subsequently used in discussion about the target emotions and culture. Did you consult Cannon-Bard (1927) - it was cited but not listed in the References? If not, it shouldn't be used as a primary citation. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in categories such as Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Shame, Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Guilt, Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Pride, and Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Culture). Theory — Depth Basic depth is provided about the selected theory(ies). Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research — Key findings Insufficient use of relevant psychological research. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations suggesting specific directions for future research Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Integration Insufficient integration of theory and research. Conclusion Address the focus questions. Conclusions are vague. Add practical, take-home message(s). Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Layout Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold). Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. Grammar The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Italicisation and bold are over-used. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min). Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:). Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3]. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect. Abbreviations Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses. APA style Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures and tables Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example. Table captions should use APA style. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation). Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[4] Check and correct use of italicisation Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is good. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). Very good use of table(s). Good use of feature box(es). No use of quiz(zes). Basic use of case studies or examples. Social contribution ~3 logged, useful, minor social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:25, 12 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Overview Display and narrate the correct title/sub-title to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation and to be consistent with the book chapter. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest. The importance of this topic is explained. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section. The presentation addresses the topic. The presentation makes basic/ use of relevant psychological theory. Cannon-brad should be Cannon-Bard The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological research. Include citations. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. Conclusion The Conclusion mostly did not fit within the time limit. Audio The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio. Audio communication is clear and well paced. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech. Audio recording quality was OK. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard/mouse clicks audible). Consider using an external microphone. Video Overall, visual display quality is basic. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides. Consider creating separate slides for shame, guilt, and pride. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images and/or diagrams. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools. Meta-data The correct chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter was not provided. I've added it. Licensing A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:08, 23 November 2021 (UTC)