Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Sympathy

Figure 4 and overview

This is looking very good, I would suggest two small improvements. From a visual point of view moving figure 4 up a little would fill in the blank gap. With your overview i suggest maybe adding your quote into a 'pretty box' and to try and combine the two sets of questions you currently have. --U3187381 (discuss • contribs) 11:25, 16 October 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Excellent User page Created About me Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter (rename the link to make it more user-friendly) Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Indicate which book chapter in the summary Section headings Promising, but overly complicated 3-level structure - consider simplifying, but extending the 2-level structure. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. Key points Excellent table Excellent use of feature box(es) Use APA style for citations (e.g., do not include author initials). Overview - Consider adding: an example or case study Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Image Excellent Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Good For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation Resources Excellent See also Very good Unnecessary link removed External links Very good Include source in brackets after link (added)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:04, 21 September 2020 (UTC)

Social contribution

Hi, your chapter looks great and I can see that its almost finished, so I just have a couple of editing suggestions: 1. I think that having both the focus questions and the questions in the outline is a bit confusing, and some of them are similar, so maybe you could combine them? eg What is sympathy and what does it look like?, How and why do we experience sympathy? 2. You have a lot of relevant figures, but they aren't mentioned in the text. According to the marking criteria they should be referred to at least once. 3. Don't forget to italicise journal names and volume numbers in the references. I hope this helps U3170940 (discuss • contribs) 00:08, 16 October 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory to address the topic in practical, interesting way. The main area for potential improvement is to provide a stronger review of relevant psychological research. The Overview presents two sets of questions; merge this into one set. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. Did you consult citations such as Scheler (1923)? If not, this should be cited as a secondary source. Research Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1]. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"; similarly "participants" is preferred to "subjects". Direct quotes are overused. They should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Learning features Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s). Good use of table(s). Very good use of feature box(es). Excellent use of reflective questions. Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and make correct use of commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals'). Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video. APA style Direct quotes need page numbers. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures and tables Use APA style for Table captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Multiple citations in parentheses should be listed in alphabetical order by first author surname and separated by a semi-colon. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References use correct APA style. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of italicisation. Social contribution ~4 logged, minor, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:48, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. The presentation is well structured. The presentation makes good use of theory. The presentation makes little to no use of research. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). The Conclusion only partly fitted within the time limit. Communication The presentation is interesting to watch and listen to. The presentation makes creative use of time-lapsed, hand-drawn visual illustration. This works particularly well for the theoretical diagrams e.g., silk ring theory. The presentation makes good use of narrated audio. Reasonably well-paced. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Production quality The video is well produced. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was excellent. Visual display quality was very good. Sometimes the audio could have been better aligned with the visuals. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:49, 22 November 2020 (UTC)