Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Strength model of self-control

Chapter headings

• Consider importance of headings, use alternate formatting e.g. bold, underline; If this is an article and you wanted it as a heading, state shortened article or author name instead
• Consider using boxes for case / article example

U3187226 (discuss • contribs) 09:10, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be: == Cats and mice == rather than == Cats and Mice == -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:47, 21 September 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title OK Sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents User page Created About me Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with link(s) to evidence. Section headings Promising 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development by expanding the structure (e.g,. to focus on applications which is part of the sub-title). See earlier comment about Heading casing. Key points Reasonable development of planned content. Use bullet points (see Tutorial 1 - Using Wikiversity). Lack of APA style citations. Overview - Consider adding: a description of the problem and what will be covered an image an example or case study Remove or adapt generic template content. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Conclusion (the most important section): hasn't been developed what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title? Image I've nominated the images for deletion because I can't see anything to indicate that they are available under a creative commons license. Let me know if I'm mistaken. If you like the image concepts, you could create your own simplified version and upload/use, and cite the original. Alternatively, you can contact the copyright owner and request permission to upload. You can learn more about images and copyright etc. in Tutorial 3 or come along to a virtual drop-in for further assistance. References Not all references are cited in the key points Not presented in APA referencing style. To improve, consider: capitalisation remove access dates year of publication should be in parentheses doi formatting etc. Resources See also Rename links so that they are more user friendly Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links Academic sources should be in References and cited

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:47, 21 September 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. The chapter could benefit from adding a Conclusion. This chapter is well over the maximum word count. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is good. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. See earlier comments about heading casing. Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold). Some headings are overly long. Learning features External links - format as per Tutorial 1. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Use in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Good use of image(s). Expand captions. No use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Very good use of quiz(zes). Grammar The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Check and make correct use of commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[1]. Check and correct use of that vs. who. Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:). APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Figures and tables Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) Check and correct use of comma after et al. References use correct APA style. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of italicisation. Social contribution ~2 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:48, 29 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Structure and content Comments about the book chapter also apply to this section. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content. Add and narrate an initial title/sub-title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. The presentation makes OK use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit. Communication The presentation is hard to follow because of the lack of visual aids and use of voice synthetisation. The presentation makes basic use of voice synthesisation. Consider using human voice to create a more engaging and easier to understand presentation. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech. Visual communication is poor. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images. Production quality The video is poorly produced. The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter. Audio recording quality was poor (e.g., use natural/real voice instead). Visual display quality was poor. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:59, 29 November 2020 (UTC)