Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Paedophilic motivation

Suggestions

Hi there, your chapter is looking very good and you have clearly done extensive literature review. The things I noticed that could assist you to enhance your book chapter would be

• include more interactive content
• provide a some focus questions to get the reader initially engaged
• with the image you have included perhaps the caption should explain why its included?

Very interesting and sensitive subject to cover so great job so far.

Hey. Your chapter is looking good! I would love to see some more quiz/reflection questions and some case studies as well. This will definitely be more interactive for the reader :)

--u3189981 (discuss • contribs) 06:04, 15 October 2020 (UTC)

Focus Questions and Overview

I think you could expand the focus questions a little bit (maybe refer more to the question heading of the page), you have a lot of body information and I think the depth could be better reflected in these questions. Also my understanding is that the overview is similar to an abstract as opposed to an introduction, maybe look at revising this. U3202026 (discuss • contribs) 00:19, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Given the sensitivity of the subject, it might be worth briefly acknowledging the effects this motivation has on its victiims--Hill Sarah Louise (discuss • contribs) 06:56, 24 September 2020 (UTC)

Reference errors

Hi,
Errors in APA style for references. Books, journals, and encyclopedias are italicized.
--U3178984 (discuss • contribs) 02:46, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be: == Cats and mice == rather than == Cats and Mice == -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:28, 19 September 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Excellent User page Excellent - used effectively Add description about self Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Use a numbered list. Section headings Excellent Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points Overview - Consider adding: an image. an example or case study. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Include APA style citations. Use APA style for citations (e.g., do not include author initials). This may or may not be helpful, but be aware that the approach of this chapter is dispositional/typing - but also consider that motivations can often be better understand as occurring along a continuum - e.g., everyone can be understood as being along a continuum that represents the extent to which they experience sexual attraction towards a particular object/type of object (in this case, minors). Although the tendency in the legal/criminal system is to "type" people as paedophiles or not (or types of paedophiles), there are limitations to this approach from a psychological point of view because it artificially imposes a categorical theory on a more continuous, nuanced, dynamic psychological reality e.g., a person might experience a motivation but not act on it - so someone who experiences a paedophilic motivation but doesn't act on it is arguably not a "paedophile" from a behavioural perspective. Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption uses APA style. could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation Resources Very good See also Use bullet-points External links Use bullet-points

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:28, 19 September 2020 (UTC)

Royal commission into institutionalised abuse

Hi,

You could look into the findings from the royal commission into institutionalised abuse. Looking into how certain positions of power influence or attract people with this motivation.--U3185008 (discuss • contribs) 04:01, 13 October 2020 (UTC)

Images

Great work! Very interesting to read about these disgusting sadistic people. I would suggest being a bit more descriptive on your images and adding "figure 1" or "figure 2" etc., in italic at the beginning. I went ahead and added the figures in for you. Nevertheless, keep it up! U3166897 (discuss • contribs) 11:56, 16 October 2020 (UTC)

See also

Be sure to dot point the 'see also' links. Besides that, great work! Super interesting. I went ahead a fixed that up for you! Good luck in your future studies --U3190522 (discuss • contribs) 07:45, 18 October 2020 (UTC)U3190522

Great topic

Hi. This topic is really interesting, one I feel people could really appreciate. However, it reads a little bias and not for a international audience. For example, you refer to 'the paedophile' over 'a paedophile' throughout your chapter. This to me, reads negatively already and could deter the reader. I certainly learned something here. Cat — Preceding unsigned comment added by [[User:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]] ([[User talk:{{{1}}}#top|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/{{{1}}}|contribs]])

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. Overview - consider building on the sub-title by presenting focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure. This suggestion was also made by others. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Learning features Minor use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s). No use of table(s). Basic use of feature box(es). Very good use of quiz(zes). Grammar Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. Abbreviations Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.). Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses. APA style Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Figures and tables Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al. (not at el.), then year (e.g., Smith et al., 2020) Multiple citations in parentheses should be listed in alphabetical order by first author surname. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation. Social contribution ~1 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:45, 8 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. The presentation is well structured. The presentation makes very good use of theory. Note that there is a slight disjoint between the original question (paedophilic motivation (trait) and the approach taken to typing paedophiles (disposition/typing) approach. A subtle but important distinction from a motivational theory point of view. But this is a relatively minor point. The presentation makes very good use of research, mostly implied through % figures. Great to see recidivism included. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. There was time for this. Communication The presentation is easy to follow. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. Production quality The video is well produced using simple tools. The chapter title and sub-title are used in both the name of presentation and on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was excellent. Visual display quality was very good. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description. Note that there is a potential personality rights issue in using some of these images in the book chapter and multimedia presentation whereby it potential frames identifiable people in a negative light. Ideally images for a topic like this would not reveal information that could reveal a person's identity in such a way that they may be falsely associated with paedophilia. A copyright license for the presentation is provided. A link to the book chapter is provided but it goes to a specific section rather than the top of the chapter. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:28, 23 November 2020 (UTC)

Discussion point

Hi there,

I am mesmerised by this topic and this encouraged me to do some of my own research ! I found some really intriguing results from a 2007 study which found structural brain abnormalities in paedophilic individuals. They then also linked these abnormalities to obsessive-compulsive disorder which I found intriguing. Nonetheless, I was not sure how credible this source was so I did some more research and found a recent study from last year (2021) that supports abnormalities in the same structural brain regions. I wonder how this information could change the future of catching sex offender?? Food for though :)

1st source fhttps://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022395606001166?casa_token=thLTmwNi_FkAAAAA:n1I9VBo6mDs-D5bxRP0w8Rv3v-OCI-PyJdBf3SxoSGSidYk7B10Ker2G8I_LYbdeLP2rcUi_JQfG

2nd source

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/pcn.13292 U3210431 (discuss • contribs) 06:01, 12 October 2022 (UTC)