Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nutrition and anxiety

Comment

Hey, your article is already looking incredible. I'm enrolled in a couple of nutrition classes and am interested in the subject, so I can't wait for the finished product. --U3160493 (discuss • contribs) 08:19, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Good Capitalisation of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents User page Created Description about self Link provided to book chapter Used effectively Social contribution Summarised with somewhat direct links to evidence - an even better option is to link directly to the comparison between the old and new versions of Wikiversity pages. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Numbered list have been added. Section headings Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings. However, consider simplifying/focusing on core topic i.e., basically could start with section 5. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. that directly relate to the core topic. Overly complicated 3-level structure - consider simplifying. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Key points Only a very brief intro to anxiety and nutrition as separate concepts is needed; link to other relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles for more info. This will allow the bulk of the chapter to focus on the core problem: How can nutrition be used to help deal with anxiety? Jacka et al. work is relevant - check to see if there's more from these authors. It is promising that a critical perspective will be applied - i.e., aiming for a balanced view of the strengths and limitations of nutritional contributions to anxiety. Maybe also consider that it may not be so much about to eat as to what to avoid eating to help minimise anxiety. Great that you're including the mediating role of the gut microbiota and how nutrition can contribute. Avoid over-Australianising the content - we only represent 0.33% of the world population - write for an international audience Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Good. For full APA style, use: correct capitalisation correct italicisation Resources See also Excellent External links Very good (but look for international guidelines e.g., WHO?)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:50, 12 September 2020 (UTC)

Length and heading format

Hello, this looks to be a fascinating topic and you've put a lot of work into it. My suggestion would be to wind back on theheadings and try to synthesise some of the topics as one bigger one. I also see that some headings have wevery word capitalised "Like They Do In This Sentence" when it should "Look something like this". I made the same mistake in my topic development. --U3114726 (discuss • contribs) 05:58, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

Further feedback on heading format

Hi there! I am doing the omega-3 fatty acids and mood book chapter, so our chapters related quite a lot. You've done a really great job at covering many areas of your topic. In terms of your headings, ensure that only the first word of your heading is capitalised. For example, instead of "Making The Sentence Look Like This", it needs to "Look like this". Hope this helps you out! Good luck --U3190522 (discuss • contribs) 07:50, 18 October 2020 (UTC)U3190522

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. This chapter is over the maximum word count. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. A critical perspective is evident. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Learning features Brilliant use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. So good, in fact, that I am now going to use this chapter as an example for how to use Wikipedia links! No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s). Excellent use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Grammar Check and correct use of affect vs. effect. APA style Figures and tables Use APA style for Table captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations use correct APA style. References use correct APA style. Social contribution ~8 logged social contributions mostly without direct links to evidence, not able to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:26, 13 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation. The presentation runs slightly over time - probably the earlier part can be abbreviated. This presentation makes creative/effective use of simple tools. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Communication The presentation is fun, easy to follow and interesting to watch and listen to. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio. Slides look great - very visual with a small amount of text, and great theme. Is it possible to get full-screen mode? (There was a small header and small footer.) The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Excellent intonation helps to maintain viewer interest. Production quality The chapter title but not the sub-title are used in the video title - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was excellent. Visual display quality was excellent. Image sources and their copyright status are provided. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. Why not make the presentation public? It is worth sharing! A written description of the presentation is/not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 13 November 2020 (UTC)

Book chapter and multimedia feedback responses from author

Thank you for your feedback, I have taken it on board. I'm glad to hear that the book chapter internal hyperlinking was well executed and the presentation communication and production was well done. With regards to the word count of the chapter and the time limit of the presentation both being over, I was aware of this, but under the impression that the marking guidelines followed the +/- 10% rule that has been given in all of my other assessments throughout my degree. Evidently this is not the case and apologies for not double checking. Also, for the presentation, a written description on Youtube was provided. Following your advice, I have made my presentation public on Youtube. I'm looking forward to receiving my final feedback and grade.