Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Hypomania and motivation

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Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:57, 19 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Missing
  2. Fixed

User page[edit source]

  1. Created - used effectively
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Summarised but no link(s) to evidence.
  2. Provide a briefer summary of social contributions and direct link to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Insufficient
  2. See earlier comment about Heading casing.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Insufficient

Image[edit source]

  1. Not provided

References[edit source]

  1. Not cited
  2. Not presented using APA style e.g., capitalisation, dois etc.
  3. Move non-peer reviewed sources to the external links section

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    2. Include source in brackets after link
    3. Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages
  2. External links
    1. Inappropriate
    2. Identify key resources about theory, research, or application of psychological science on this topic

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:58, 20 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Starter References[edit source]

Hi there, I've noticed that this topic might need some references... I've found a few articles listed below:

  1. Johnson explores the the characteristics of mania in relation to accomplishment, achievement motivation, and goal setting in her article titled Mania and dysregulation in goal pursuit: A review. (2004). This article specifically addresses how during positive moods, confidence is increased, which when coupled with ambition goals can effect a person's pursuit of goals. Although the title of the article does not refer specifically to hypomania, some of the research within the article does (and is very interesting)! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2847498/
  2. Meyer and colleagues (2007) in their study Unique association of approach motivation and mania vulnerability found that manic symptoms were associated with higher approach motivation. This effect held true even in threatening scenarios. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2814428/
  3. Mason and colleagues (2012) found that the participants who were prone to hypomania were more impulsive, showing increased hypersensivitity to rewards. This speaks to a difference where people experiencing hypomania show differences in their behaviour approach system (BAS). https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322311009668
  4. Kim and Kwon (2017) also address the link between hypomania and BAS sensitivity, finding that BAS sensitivity mediated the relation between hypomania risk and creativity. Perhaps those who experience increased creativity and hypomania do so because of an intrinsic motivation. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032716319668

Hope this helps :) Tia U3190467 (discusscontribs) 01:25, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. It covers HM as a psychopathological condition rather than addressing the topic (i.e., the sub-title question), thus there is insufficient coverage of relevant motivational theory and research.
  2. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  3. Overview is underdeveloped
    1. Consider offering a brief definition/description of HM.
    2. Consider building on the sub-title by presenting focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure.
    3. Consider introducing a case study.
  4. Conclusion lacks sufficient insight into the question (relationship between HM and motivation).
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. The first half of the chapter describes the condition of hypomania. Whilst this is necessary, it can be abbreviated, with interwiki links to more information, because it should not be the primary focus of this chapter. The chapter starts to address the topic (the sub-title question) in the section titled "What are the motivational characteristics of hypomania?".
  2. Overall, this chapter makes basic, insufficient use of theory.

Research[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead, use section linking.
    4. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"; similarly "participants" is preferred to "subjects".
    5. The chapter could benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion).
  2. Layout
    1. Remove extra formatting from headings (e.g., remove bold).
  3. Learning features
    1. Use bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1.
    2. External links should consist of key additional non-peer-reviewed academic information sources rather than help information. The sources should be relevant to an international audience.
    3. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
    4. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    5. Basic use of image(s).
    6. No use of table(s).
    7. Basic of feature box(es).
    8. Basic of quiz(zes).
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:).
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[1].
    5. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
    3. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
  7. APA style
    1. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
      3. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    4. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Do not include author first names.
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Include hyperlinked dois.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~1 claimed social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:23, 13 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on resubmitted book chapter

These revisions have been reviewed. Comments:

  1. The Overview has been improved, mostly by shifting content into this section, but also be adding focus questions.
  2. Use of theory and research is considerably improved.
  3. There are some improvements to grammar and spelling.
  4. There are some other minor, all-round improvements.
  5. 3 social contributions added some general, but thoughtful feedback. Well after original chapter due dates, so of limited value to the original authors.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:16, 13 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation.
  2. It describes hypomania, but not the motivational characteristics of hypomania.
  3. It goes too fast. Be more selective about what content to present and slow down.
  4. No attribution of image sources is provided.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. This presentation doesn't adequately address the topic.
  2. Comments about the book chapter also larger apply to this section.
  3. The content doesn't adequately use the most relevant psychological theory and research to address the topic.
  4. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  5. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  6. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  7. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes very basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  2. The example is useful - but what is the point being made? It needs to serve to illustrate the motivational characteristics of hypomania.
  3. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The video lacks the polish that comes with a script which is honed through practice.
  2. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title (but check grammar) - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  4. Audio recording quality was good.
  5. Visual display quality was very good. Consider hiding the navigation tools.
  6. This presentation may have violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement.
  7. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data.
  8. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  9. A link from the book chapter is provided. Formatting has been fixed.
  10. A very brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:01, 20 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on resubmitted multimedia presentation
  1. Overall, this is a marginally sufficient presentation, based on minor to moderate improvements.
  2. The Overview (focus question) was improved, but this slide, as well as several others, were skipped too quickly and not sufficient narrated, so were of marginal additional value.
  3. The selection of content was marginally improved.
    1. The focus on research was marginally improved by including a focus on a single study. Even better would be to focus on a broader review of relevant literature rather than the deep, overly detailed dive into a single study.
    2. The focus on theory was marginally improved by including a behavioural reinforcement theory (kindling theory was removed), but its relationship to hypomania was inadequately explained (e.g., what is PRN?).
  4. The audio was communication is improved by slowing down. It could be improved further by scripting, practicing, and improving intonation.
  5. There was no improvement in the quality of visual communication (e.g., overly small text is presented) - to improve, consider using larger font and less text per slide).
  6. Meta-data: Title/sub-title is worse (no longer matches book chapter). The rest is essentially the same.
  7. Audio and video recording quality is similar.
    1. Description is improved, but the title/sub-title does not match the book chapter.
  8. Licensing is the same.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:26, 7 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Social Contribution[edit source]

Hi, I really liked your book chapter, I found it to be very informative and easy to read. However, I think it might benefit from more images to make it a little more engaging. I know it can be hard on wiki commons to find the perfect image for what your discussing. I think you may be able to find some depictions though. Good luck and well done. U3185242 (discusscontribs) 15:32, 6 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

== Social Contribution == 2022 I really liked your book chapter and picked the same topic in 2022, although this year it is emotion and hypomania in place of motivation and hypomania. While your page is easy to read, the conclusion would have benefited from having a short paragraph (about three to four sentences) to answer each focus question. I note you focused on the definition in the conclusion which was one of the focus questions and another mentioned motivatoinal theory but not the directions it takes the topic. I also would have benefitted from a paragraph on further research directions, as I would have built on that too and I would have been interested to see if perspectives on the research had changed much over the year. Good luck with your studies and hope this helps. --Alec.cortez (discusscontribs) 06:34, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]