Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Emotion display rules

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Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Created
  2. Used effectively
  3. About me
    1. Description about self provided
    2. Consider linking to your eportfolio
  4. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Summarised with indirect links to evidence.
  2. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Excellent; key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. Provide dot points and eventually a paragraph at the beginning of each section before branching into sub-sections.
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an image.
    2. a case study.
  4. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption
    1. uses APA style.
    2. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
    3. could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  4. Consider increasing image size.

References[edit source]

  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style, use:
    1. correct capitalisation
    2. correct italicisation
    3. the new recommended format for dois

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:52, 12 September 2020 (UTC)

Suggestion[edit source]

Hi there, your book chapter is looking good so far however, I see limited references within your overview. You may wish to reference the literature that has informed your overview. All the best with submission! (The preceding unsigned comment was added by [[User:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]] ([[User talk:{{{1}}}|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/{{{1}}}|contribs]]) )

Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:25, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. The chapter could be improved by being rewritten to be more user-friendly and emphasising practical, take-home skills and messages.
  2. This chapter is over the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theories are well covered, integrated, and explained but I don't think appraisal theory and two-factor theory are the most relevant theories about EDR. These are general theories about emotion, but not really about emotional expression per se. Maybe just summarise these sections and link to related book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles. This will help to bring the chapter within the maximum word count and allow more room for emphasising practical, take-home messages. Social learning, social norm, and cultural context theories seem to be much more relevant/applicable.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression could be significantly improved.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Some sentences are overly long; consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
    3. Avoid awkward use of "said".
    4. "People" is usually a better term than "individuals".
    5. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead, use section linking.
    6. The chapter would benefit from a more focuses Conclusion, with clearer take-home self-help messages - e.g., based on psychological science, how can I improve my emotion display?
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of image(s).
    4. Basic use of table(s).
    5. Very good use of feature box(es).
    6. Very good use of quiz(zes).
    7. Basic use of a case study. It would be good to follow the case study to find out about how Sarah learnt the EDRs of a new culture. Consider replacing Sarah with a more common Japanese name.
  4. Grammar is problematic - grammar coaching could be beneficial.
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2].
    5. Abbreviations
      1. Check and correct formatting of abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.).
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos (e.g., extra and missing spaces) and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  6. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    2. Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis.
    3. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
    4. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. use et al. rather than et al or et al,
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. Include hyperlinked dois.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~4 logged, minor, last minute, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:25, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter also largely apply to this section.
  2. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  3. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation makes basic use of theory.
  5. The presentation makes basic use of research.
  6. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  7. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  8. A general Conclusion slide is presented, but the conclusion is avague.
  9. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives based on the best available psychological theory and research about this topic?

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Well paced.
  3. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  4. The visual communication could be improved by including more relevant images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The video is well using simple tools.
  2. The sub-title is missing in both the video title and on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Use the chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  4. Audio recording quality was very good.
  5. Visual display quality was basic.
  6. Image sources (links) are not provided.
  7. This presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement.
  8. Why is this classified for kids?
  9. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  10. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  11. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  12. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:46, 24 November 2020 (UTC)