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Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Bewilderment

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Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be:

== Cats and mice ==

rather than

== Cats and Mice ==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:56, 19 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • Corrected heading casing - 08:08, 9 November 2020‎.

U3187226 (discusscontribs) 08:20, 9 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Referencing

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  • Consider moving non-journal articles and books to external links
  1. Betterhealth, 2020. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy
  2. Beyondblue. 2020. "Beyond Blue." https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
  3. Dimas, J., 2019. 15 Life Lessons From Rumi. Dwell in Magic. https://jessicadimas.com/life-lessons-from-rumi/
  4. Medical News Today. 2020. Fear: What Happens In The Brain And Body?. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323492#Triggering-the-response
  • Requires APA7 format - missing journal publication, DOI
  1. Howe, F., 1998. Bewilderment. https://www.asu.edu/pipercwcenter/how2journal/archive/online_archive/v1_1_1999/fhbewild.html#:~:text=Bewilderment%20is%20an%20enchantment%20that,being%20completely%20lost%20by%20choice!
  • Requires APA7 format - missing DOI (see below for potential DOI number)
  1. Khanagha, S., Ramezan Zadeh, M., Mihalache, O., & Volberda, H. (2018). Embracing Bewilderment: Responding to technological disruption in heterogeneous market environments. Journal of Management Studies, 55(7), 1078–1121.

https://doi.org/10.1111/joms.12348

  1. Lewis, J. (2019). Reflections: Dialectic of Bewilderment. Eighteenth-Century Fiction, 31(3), 575–595. DOI: 10.3138/ecf.31.3.575

U3187226 (discusscontribs) 08:18, 9 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


}


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title

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  1. Very good
  2. Formatting adjusted to fit book chapter style

User page

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  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  3. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution

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  1. Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence.
  2. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

Section headings

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  1. Simple, effective structure
  2. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Partial development
  2. Lacks citations
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. planned content.
    2. an image.
    3. an example or case study.
  4. Lack of theory and research.
  5. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
  1. A custom selected figure is not presented.

References

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  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation

Resources

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  1. None

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:56, 19 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a promising but insufficient chapter due to the lack of use of the best academic peer-reviewed literature about the topic.
  2. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. The description of bewilderment is promising, but lacks sufficient basis in psychological scientific literature.
  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. Most claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
    2. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Good use of image(s).
    4. Basic use of table(s).
    5. Very good use of feature box(es).
    6. Basic use of quiz(zes).
  4. Grammar
    1. Check and make correct use of commas. In particular, checkout how to use commas when using words such as "however" and "therefore".
    2. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
    3. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., 1680's vs. 1680s).[3].
    4. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    5. Abbreviations
      1. Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.).
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  6. APA style
    1. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    2. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Include hyperlinked dois.
      3. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section.
  1. ~1 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:58, 26 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Comments on resubmitted book chapter

These revisions have been reviewed. Comments:

  1. Overall, there are minor improvements to the chapter.
  2. Several minor improvements of mixed value have been added, such as including more citations (however, the citations were generally to non-peer-reviewed sources). In other cases, suggestions for citations were removed rather than addressed.
  3. Addition of "Genealogical bewilderment" section. Some grammar errors and lack of sufficient citation.
  4. Direct quotes need page numbers. Preferably express concepts in own words. Direct quotes illustrate little to no understanding.
  5. Addition of "James-Lange theory of emotion" section. Not supported by research.
  6. Did you consult William James (1884) and Carl Lange (1887)? Probably not; don't use citations for sources that you haven't consulted. This is very general material and lacks sufficient application to bewilderment.
  7. Addition of "Cannon-Bard theory of emotion" section. Again, very general, with basic application to bewilderment. Not supported by research.
  8. The Conclusion has been strengthened.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:04, 11 December 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes.
  1. Comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  3. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. A lot of the presentation consists of listing features rather than discussing the psychological theory and research about bewilderment.
  5. The presentation makes basic/little/no use of theory. Some theory in the presentation was not in the book chapter (e.g., James-Lange).
  6. The presentation makes no use of research.
  7. The presentation makes basic use of examples or case studies.
  8. The Conclusion partly fitted within the time limit.
  1. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio, with some images.
  2. Well paced.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. However, the presentation could be improved by presenting less text on some slides.
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. The video is basically produced using simple tools.
  2. The chapter title and sub-title are used in both the name of presentation and on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was good, however there was some fade in-fade out between slides.
  4. Visual display quality was good.
  5. Image copyright status is mentioned, but direct links to specific sources are not provided.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:09, 26 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

Comments on resubmitted multimedia presentation
  1. Audio recording is quite quiet
  2. An overview/focus questions is provided
  3. Well structured
  4. Consider slowing down and using greater intonation
  5. There is some audio fade out/in during slide transitions (should be possible to switch this off)
  6. Slides are visually clear; presenting less text on some slides could make the visuals easier to read
  7. Direct links to image sources are not provided.
  8. An example is used effectively

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:04, 11 December 2020 (UTC)Reply