Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Burn survivor emotion

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Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Summarised with direct links to evidence.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development
  2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Remove or adapt generic template content.
  2. Basic development of key points, but relatively little about theory and research on emotions of those recovering from burn injury - this is the most important.
  3. Use APA style for citations
  4. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  5. Consider introducing a case study in the Overview.
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  7. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption uses APA style.
  3. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. 2nd ref should be an External link
  2. Check out the specialist burn care journals
  3. For full APA style:
    1. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
    2. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit source]

  1. Excellent
  2. Check out https://www.childrens.health.qld.gov.au/service-burns-skin-deep-video-series/

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:45, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Suggestions[edit source]

Hey there! looks like you have some really good ideas for your chapter, I'm excited to see where you go with it. I noticed that you haven't yet included any examples or case studies. If you don't have any in mind I wanted to suggest burn victim Turia Pitt. Something that makes her different from other possible case studies is that there is endless amount of information on her experience. Turia has her own website and has written 4 different books (I've linked below) detailing her entire story. These would contain a lot about the emotions she went through so I figure she could be a really great person to highlight in your chapter. Website: https://www.turiapitt.com Books: https://www.turiapitt.com/shop/

--U3160373 (discusscontribs) 12:03, 14 October 2019 (UTC) U3160373

Good evening! I like the way you have set out your page with headings and sub-headings. I'm interested to see how your page is going to look/read when you are finished! I found a couple of articles that I thought you might be able to find useful in your research on the topic: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC509350/ (psychosocial aspects of burn injuries). Izard, C. E. (2010) The many meanings/aspects of emotion: definitions, functions, activation, and regulation. Emotion Review, 2, 363-370. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1754073910374661 I hope these help, good luck! --MPollard10 (discusscontribs) 10:08, 16 October 2019 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, promising chapter that explores psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. The chapter could benefit from further development of the Overview.
  3. Several interesting case studies are provided. They could be improved by applying theory and research.
  4. For additional feedback, see following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Impressive overall breadth of theoretical viewpoint (range of emotions, emotion theory, and interventions).
  2. Useful mapping of a wide range of emotions to burn survivor experience.
  3. Ideally, the chapter would provide greater application of the two theories to the emotional experiences of burn injury.
  4. Ideally, the chapter would provide greater exploration of the types of emotion impacts and therapeutic interventions in relation to the case studies.
  5. Neill (2019) lectures are overused as citations - instead, utilise primary, peer-reviewed sources.

Research[edit source]

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided. More depth of research review could be provided (e.g., there is no indepth discussion of the top research studies in this area).
  2. Consider describing the research outcomes for the various forms of intervention.
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective[1].
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Excellent use of embedded interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
    2. No use of embedded links to related book chapters. Embedding links links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Excellent use of images.
    4. Excellent use of tables.
    5. Excellent use of feature boxes.
    6. Excellent use of quizzes.
    7. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
    3. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
  6. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    4. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order.
    5. References use correct APA style.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~1 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:27, 23 November 2019 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent presentation.
  2. This presentation makes effective use of simple tools.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is very well structured.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  4. Add references (e.g., to the video description).

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is easy to follow and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by graphical display.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The chapter title but not the sub-title are used in the video title - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  4. Visual display quality was excellent.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  6. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  7. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  8. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:35, 23 November 2019 (UTC)