Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Suicidality across the lifespan

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Similar topics = Collaboration =D[edit source]

Hi Nicole

Just thought I would reach out as I noticed that our topics are very similar. I am doing Suicidality in the elderly.

I thought that we could take advantage of this and collaborate where possible. If I find anything useful in my research I will share it with you and I will most definitely mention your chapter within mine as i think that there will be aspects that your chapter will cover better than mine and visa-versa.

Wish you luck with your chapter and I will be paying close attention :)

Cheers, Phil McKeough

Hi Nicole! I found a journal article that I thought might be useful, it called 'The integrated motivational-volitional model of suicidal behavior' and can be found through the UC search database. Hope it helps! u3067591

Hey Nicole I found this article that might be helpful for you. It focuses on the elderly, however it has a number of interesting theories on suicide [1] U3117556 (discusscontribs) 03:52, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

Contribution[edit source]

Hi Nicole, I really like the structure of your chapter! It might be cool to add in some quizzes towards the end, such as with the code:


Answer 1.
Answer 2.
Answer 3.
Answer 4.

There's more information relating to quiz structure at I also found a couple of articles that might be useful. Fombonne and colleagues (2001) conducted a longitudinal study looking at the risk of suicidality in adulthood in associated with adolescent depression. The article is called "The Maudsley long-term follow-up of child and adolescent depression" (doi: 10.1192/bjp.179.3.210). The second article is called "Detecting Suicide Risk in a Pediatric Emergency Department: Development of a Brief Screening Tool" by Horowitz and colleagues (2001) (doi: 10.1542/peds.107.5.1133) which has some information relating to suicidality in children as young as six.

Good luck with your chapter! --U3143109 (discusscontribs) 07:02, 14 October 2018 (UTC)


Hi Nicole,

This chapter looks really interesting, looking forward to reading it! I found a journal article that wasn't in your reference list and seems to have some relevant information about longitudinal prevalence and precursors of suicidal ideation and attempted suicide across three age groups (20-29, 40-49, and 60-69) while taking gender into consideration. Article link: --U3122470 (discusscontribs) 13:56, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi Nicole, I think this chapter is going to be wonderful. It seems as though you have thoroughly researched this topic. I think it could be useful to write a short section on cross-cultural suicidality like a collectivist culture versus an individualistic culture. One interesting comparison could be looking at Japan's Aokigahara forest (known as the 'suicide forest') versus Australia. I look forward to reading your finished submission. --BB7897 (discusscontribs) 22:01, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Very good

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent
  2. See suggestions for how to record social contributions

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Theories look useful, however they are only useful to the extent that they help to understand how motivations for suicide tend to vary across the lifespan. It might make more sense to firstly describe how suicidality rates and motivation vary across the lifespace and then introduce theories that do the best job of accounting for the varying motives.
  2. So, probably the primary structure for the book chapter could be the section currently called "Suicidality across the lifespan" which could become "Suicidality motivations across the lifespan".
  3. The sections that follow seem to be somewhat tangential.
  4. Overall, better to adopt a relatively simple structure focused directly on addressing the core topic (the sub-title) and linking out to other related, but not critical material.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Overview - some promising ideas but needs to primarily focus on the one, central question - what motivates variations in suicidality
  2. Conclusion - under-developed - this is arguably the most important section

Image[edit source]

  1. Well done
  2. To improve, provide image captions which more strongly connected with/illustrate key points being made in the text

References[edit source]

  1. Well selected
  2. Use APA style (e.g., check capitalisation, use of issue numbers, doi formatting)
  3. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also - very good
  2. External links - select links for an international audience

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:04, 29 September 2018 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter which could be improved by focusing less on general suicidality and suicidality motivations and focusing more on the lifespan-specific motivations and interventions.
  2. This chapter is well over the maximum word count. An obvious solution would be to reduce the general material about suicidality and focus on addressing the central question - how and why does suicidality vary across the lifespan. The other approach is simply to tighten the written expression to reduce use of unnecessary words (e.g., see my suggested copyedits).
  3. What will this chapter cover? -> could become focus questions (as the Contents pretty much cover this structure already).
  4. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theories are well addressed (in general) and then embedded/used with the specific lifestyle stages (good). It could be helpful to return to the theories and/or life stages to summarise which are most application to which life stage (e.g., in considering best prevention strategies at each stage).
  2. Prevention strategies are addressed (good), however even better would be customise these more closely across the lifespan.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory, but lacks in synthesis. Rather than summarise one study after another, consider synthesising the common elements across several studies. This can reduce the word count and help to demonstrate greater depth of understanding.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. To improve, be more selective about content to include and strive for tighter written expression.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Avoid over-use of directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Where directional referencing is used, the intrapage links are excellent.
    4. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be
    5. Who is "we"? Use 3rd person perspective.
    6. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    7. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
    8. The chapter is generally well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  2. Learning features
    1. A table could be used as efficient means of organising, comparing, and contrasting, suicidality motivations across the lifespan.
    2. Internationalise the external links: Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
    3. Interwiki links are well used.
    4. Basic/limited use of images.
    5. No use of tables.
    6. No use of quizzes.
    7. No use of case studies or examples.
  3. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    2. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
  4. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    2. Citations
      1. A serial comma is needed before "&" or "and" for citations involving three or more authors.
      2. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, borderline sufficient presentation.
  2. Remove the unit-specific, person-specific preamble - the idea is to make the presentation as broadly appealing to an international audience as possible. These local specifics can be put into the video description. Then the first 10 seconds can be used to provide a more engaging introduction.
  3. Probably split slide 2 into 2 different slides (easier to view).

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. The focus should have been on addressing the topic - suicidal motivation across the lifespan. Otherwise, this is basically a duplicate of Motivation and emotion/Book/2013/Suicidality and motivation. The lifespan variations were ignored.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  3. The visual communication could be improved by including some more relevant images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, basic but effective production.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  4. Acknowledgement of image sources is provided.
  5. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:48, 16 November 2018 (UTC)

Hi, think this book chapter can benefit from adding detailed studies that supports the theories you have mentioned in order for the readers to know how applicable the theories are. However, I did like how you included ways on how to reduce suicidality at the end of your book chapter.

--U3160221 (discusscontribs) 02:44, 19 October 2019 (UTC)