Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Abortion and emotion

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References[edit]

Hi there, I notices a few of your references didn't have DOI's or they weren't linked properly, so I added them. I also updated a few of your references and fixed formatting issues that had incorrect APA formatting. Here is the UC APA formatting link that I find really helpful and informative: https://canberra.libguides.com/referencing/apa. Good luck with your chapter. It is a really interesting topic and very relevant in Australia at represent with debates about law changes etc. Lucy. --Lucy Hanrahan (discusscontribs) 22:46, 16 October 2018 (UTC)

Comments[edit]

Hi, u3158923! I found a couple of charts on Wikimedia commons that I thought could be useful: [1] and [2] - u3067591

This is a great chapter plan and an interesting topic. I did a brief search and noticed it can be hard to find journal articles on this topic. I have provided links to some articles you might find helpful 123--Bridie Mcinerney (discusscontribs) 06:31, 1 October 2018 (UTC)

Hey there, Really interesting article. I enjoyed reading it. May I suggest potentially extending the "Take home points" into more of a conclusion so wrap up the topic. --Kunal Kumar - University of Canberra (discusscontribs) 06:30, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:59, 22 September 2018 (UTC)


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Incorrect title and sub-title - now fixed

User page[edit]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Well done on getting going with Twitter.
  2. See suggestions for how to record social contributions

Section headings[edit]

  1. Sufficient
  2. Suggest reducing/minimising initial sections
  3. Suggest developing/expanding the section about "Emotions on abortion" as this is the key topic

Key points[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. The key sentence is "The purpose of this chapter is to explore abortion and the emotion that women have to deal with pre, during and post-abortion."
    2. The key focus question is "What are the emotional effects of abortion?"
    3. Minimise the rest of the content and link to relevant available material on Wikiversity/Wikipedia for more info.
  2. Write for an international, not Australian audience
  3. Consider connecting more closely with other related book chapter topics (e.g., giving birth, stillbirth, infanticide, grief etc.)

Image[edit]

  1. Good

References[edit]

  1. Sufficient
  2. Not all references were cited
  3. Use APA style

Resources[edit]

  1. Insufficient
  2. See also
    1. provide more context-relevant links to Wikipedia/Wikiversity resources
    2. remove very general links (e.g., to emotion and motivation)
  3. External link
    1. link doesn't work for general public - goes to a UC log in

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:59, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

Edits[edit]

This is such an important topic that you have chosen. I do think that you need to have paragraphs in your 'laws on abortion section' as it is a large chunk of texts which is hard for the reader to take in information. I think due to the nature of this topic, it may be a good idea to have some external links to websites that can help people who are effected by this. You have also haven't italicised your references. This guide should help you do this quickly: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/Cheatsheet-en.pdf! Goodluck! TaylorMal (discusscontribs) 23:58, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

References and TED talk[edit]

Hey Daina,

Your chapter looks awesome, Good work!

I have just edited your reference list: I made the journal names and volumes italicised, uncapitalised some of the titles of the articles and fixed your headings and sub-headings because only the first word needs to be capitalised. You also don't need to have the issue number of the journal article, only the volume number. You can look at this which explains in more detail: http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2011/10/how-to-determine-whether-a-periodical-is-paginated-by-issue.html.

I found this TED talk that would go really well with your chapter aswell: https://www.ted.com/talks/aspen_baker_a_better_way_to_talk_about_abortion#t-646550

She emphasises many of the points in your 'take home points' section, and I think it would sum up your chapter really well!

I hope this helps!

--Ju3141393 (discusscontribs) 04:47, 19 October 2018 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this chapter makes the mistake of focusing too much on abortion as a stand-alone concept, and too little on the emotional effects of abortion.
    1. The chapter could benefit from further development of the Overview and Conclusion - it should be possible to only read these sections and get a good sense of why the topic is important and what is known/recommended.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. There is too much general theoretical material about emotion. Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic.
  2. No consideration of the emotional effects on fathers and/or other family members?

Research[edit]

  1. Main comments are as per the theory section.
  2. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  3. Limited range of sources cited.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. Some of the bullet-points (e.g., Conclusion) should have been in full paragraph format.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    2. Use default Wikiversity heading styles (i.e,. remove bold, italics, colons etc.).
  3. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and make correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  4. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. References are in APA style.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality is OK.
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  4. Add acknowledgement of image sources.
  5. A link from the book chapter was not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:58, 18 November 2018 (UTC)