Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Hormones and emotion

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Feedback[edit source]

A cool idea might be to look into the impact of mental illness on this relationship. For example many women (myself included) can experience much worse-than-normal symptoms of depression including fatigue and distress shortly before their period. If you take a look at PMS, there's a place for the relationship between hormones and mental illness too I believe! :)--Taylormeggles (discusscontribs) 09:53, 1 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hi! i just found a TED talk on the science of emotions that i thought you might find useful to put in your external links section. I hope you find it interesting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65e2qScV_K8 --Eadams1994 (discusscontribs) 05:07, 21 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback and link to article[edit source]

Hi U3066780, here is a link to an article that you may find useful to your topic. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3746698/#!po=5.31915. It is about how Oxytocin has an effect on emotion and recognition of emotions. I think looking into a few specific hormones might be good for your chapter, such as the link between cortisol, stress and negative emotions. Best of luck with your chapter :) EmmaCane28 (discusscontribs) 12:54, 2 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Emotions during childbirth, female hormones and male relationships[edit source]

u3066780, you have developed a clear outline so far but, obviously, lots of work is yet to be done. A comment above by Taylor reminded me of the role the female hormones have throughout her life. I have located a study concerning traumatic childbirth and emotions experienced. Interestingly, the study focuses on emotions experienced before, during and after birth but doesn't mention the presence of hormones (Ayers, 2007). However, what they did find was that there was a strong link between difficult births and PTSD, a complication mental illness associated with fear, anxiety, stress. During childbirth, a woman's body is flooded with hormones - Oxycontin, endorphin's, adrenaline and prolactine. Without these hormones present, several complications can be expected. Low levels of oxytocin during labor and birth can lead to slow contractions (or the complete stopping of contractions), excessive bleeding after birth, and increased levels of anxiety, which are all detrimental to the babies health. If we utilise the aforementioned studies findings (even with the lack of hormonal correlation), we can see that oxytocin is responsible for the negative emotions a woman is experiencing during a traumatic birth. This may be an area which may interest you during your writing. Research on the other hormones associated with birth may also be beneficial.

With this said and please don't take this harshly, I find the three areas you have identified for the effects of hormones on emotion (mental health, puberty, and memory) restrict the scope of this topic. The suggestions above about PMS and research into specific hormones are great advice and are something that would boost this chapters quality. If you decide to mention female-only hormones, other areas you can look at your young women taking birth control (for example, for menstruation purposes, PCOS, birth control, other disorders; progesterone or oestrogen, a combo of the two and other options), women experiencing PMS, older women going through menopause, and post-menopausal women. In males, you could examine the association between testosterone and fear, anger, hostility, feelings of depressions etc. For example, in this study, they found that some males lacked healthy amygdala activation (needed for explicit emotion recognition). In conclusion of their study, they found that... "testosterone levels affect amygdala activation and also behavioural responses particularly to threat-related emotions in healthy young males". There are numerous other studies that look at similar associations. For now though, best of luck!--U3117126 (discusscontribs) 14:03, 13 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback - Gender comparison[edit source]

I find your topic very interesting, I am doing my chapter on testosterone and dominance so I feel there may be some similarities. If you haven’t already thought about it, I think comparing genders when it comes to hormones and emotion would be very interesting. As men and women have different levels of hormones and there are clear stereotypes about women being more emotional I think it would be fun to separate fact from fiction. Show what is scientifically proven about the emotional differences between men and women.

Anyways, good luck with your chapter! It’s a very big, but very interesting topic.

--AmeliaSmith-Koppie (discusscontribs) 10:36, 17 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Bullet listing[edit source]

Hi again, it's Taylor! Good luck with your chapter before submission tomorrow! A minor suggestion - when using bullet lists to provide information in a specific order, such as in your section "types of emotion", have you thought about using numerical lists rather than regular dot points so you don't have to write "firstly, secondly, thirdly"? It'll save you some words and be more concise. --Taylormeggles (discusscontribs) 23:38, 21 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Odd text removed from prior to title
  2. Sub-title needs to be corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page[edit source]

  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Two contributions are well summarised by better links can be provided - the best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - would benefit from further development as it currently lacks detail and includes generic placeholder headings
  2. Limited coverage of theory - what is covered appears to be very general, background theory to emotion, rather than more specifically focused on hormones and emotion, including related brain structures
  3. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  5. Make sure to avoid providing too much background/generic material. Instead briefly summarise background concepts and provide wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question posed by the sub-title of chapter.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Some general key points are provided for some sections, but there is a notable lack of key points related to addressing the original sub-title question, which is the main purpose of this chapter
  2. Probably need to specifically consider the emotional effects of each major hormone - this could be summarised in a table
  3. Provide links to other relevant book chapters about the effects of specific hormones on specific emotions - the current chapter should be a overarching chapter which pulls this material together
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.

Image[edit source]

  1. One image embedded
  2. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text

References[edit source]

  1. OK.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use correct italicisation
    3. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
    4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit source]

  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:36, 16 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. This was the shortest out of 100 submitted chapters
  2. The Overview says little about the role of hormones in emotion
  3. Integrate more closely with the hormones and motivation chapter.
  4. There seems to be some confusion between hormones and neurotransmitters (e.g., there is an unnecessary section on serotonin).
  5. The Conclusion is under developed and lacks concrete, take-home messages.
  6. This chapter should provide embedded, integrated links to other related chapters (e.g., about specific hormones and/or specific emotions).
  7. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Very limited, poor coverage of the role of hormones in emotion.
  2. This chapter makes a common error - there is too much general theoretical material about the separate constructions of emotion and hormones. Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic which is the relationship between hormones and emotion.
  3. The separate discussion of different hormones is not sufficiently focused on their impact on emotion.

Research[edit source]

  1. There is very little description of relevant research.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features are limited e.g., Interwiki links, images, tables, case studies etc. are not used.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect
  5. APA style
    1. Citations
      1. Did you consult James (1890)? If not, don't cite it.
    2. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation
      2. Check and correct italicisation
      3. See new doi format
      4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.

Book chapter resubmission feedback[edit source]

These changes were made and the chapter was submitted. Additional comments:

  1. No changes were made to the heading casing
  2. Generic information about motivation was added, but this achieved nothing in terms of addressing the topic which is the effect on hormones on emotion.
  3. Some generic information was added about emotion. This doesn't achieve very much. Instead, provide a brief summary of general theory about emotions and link to other sources with more information. This would allow the current chapter to focus on the topic which is the effect on hormones on emotion.
  4. Confusion between neurotransmitters and hormones is still evident - this chapter should be about the effect of hormones on emotion.
  5. The first section which is relevant to the topic is half-way through the chapter. The section is called "Roles of Hormones in Emotions".
  6. Some general information about hormones was added.
  7. Some useful information about oxytocin and emotion was removed.
  8. Some general information about testosterone was added.
  9. A section about Oestrogen was added.
  10. Surprisingly, information about hormones such as cortisol, leptin, and ghrelin were still absent (see the textbook, lectures, tutorials, and related book chapters).
  11. A very general case study is added, but it lacks sufficient detail to be useful.
  12. Additional content was neurotransmitters was added. This wasn't relevant to the topic which is the effect of hormones on emotion. The effect of neurotransmitters on emotion is covered by a separate chapter: Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Neurotransmitters and emotion. Remove the content added about this topic and provide a link to this chapter in the See also section.
  13. Additional content about hormones and motivation was added. This wasn't relevant to the topic which is the effect of hormones on emotion. The effect of hormones on motivation is covered by a separate chapter: Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Hormones and motivation. Remove the content added about this topic and provide a link to this chapter in the See also section.
  14. Some general material was added to the Conclusion, but conclusion is still notably lacking in specific take-home messages.
  15. Overall, this chapter still doesn't provide a sufficient summary of the best available psychological science about the assigned topic.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:02, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic production

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter also apply here - basically, too much about general background constructs, such as emotion, and too little about the relationship between H and E - there's only one minute about this!
  2. What are the practical, take-home messages?

Communication[edit source]

  1. Narration was OK, but somewhat quiet and difficult to follow with the music
  2. Visual communication make effective use of text and basic animation

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Audio is quiet; music is loud - makes it difficult to follow the narration. Best to mute music.
  2. Use the full book chapter title and subtitle - this provides the topic and target question to be addressed
  3. Powtoon acknowledged, but no acknowledgement of image sources
  4. 30 seconds spare - so more effective use of available time could have been made

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:23, 24 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]