Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Environmental design for people living with dementia

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Comments[edit]

Hey there! I've found this list of guidelines for long term care of people living with dementia. It has some rules, regulations, and important things to consider when planning an environmental design for the individual I think this is actually a really important topic of development. Good luck :) http://ro.uow.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1675&context=hbspapers (Telgey (discusscontribs) 09:53, 31 August 2017 (UTC) = Telgey 19:52, 31 August 2017 (UTC))

Language consideration?[edit]

Hi there - I've noticed that in your 'treatment' section, you've stated that there are no known treatments for dementia, before going on to list a few interventions. I was thinking it may be clearer to say that there is no known 'cure' - as there are multiple treatments, many of which you have shown you are planning to discuss. I know this is just a rough outline, and you were probably planning to change that, but I thought I'd mention it just in case. Any feedback you have on my work so far would also be appreciated. Happy writing!--MMMRH9416 (discusscontribs) 04:59, 4 October 2017 (UTC)


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Very good
  2. Title/sub-title adjusted to be consistent with the book table of contents
  3. Authorship details removed - authorship is as per the page's editing history

User page[edit]

  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Two summarised with indirect links to evidence
  2. The best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings[edit]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development
  2. Types of dementia, diagnosis, treatment etc. sections are not needed - avoid providing too much background/generic material. Instead briefly summarise background concepts (e.g. a table for types of dementia and key characteristics could works) and provide wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question posed by the sub-title of chapter, using the best available theory and research.
  3. Include an introductory case study in the Overview to help engage readers

Key points[edit]

  1. Some key points were provided for some sections.
  2. Search Wikiversity - there is some good information on exactly this topic available! Smiley.svg
  3. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  5. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image[edit]

  1. One general image included. Much more relevant images could be included to illustrate important aspects of environmental design for PLWD.

References[edit]

  1. Excellent.
  2. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
  3. Minor - do not italicise commas

Resources[edit]

  1. See also
    1. Excellent
    2. Also include relevant Wikipedia links
  2. External links
    1. Maybe these links should be in references?

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:36, 17 October 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:27, 20 November 2017 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this in minimalistic chapter that lacks review of sufficient theory and research and connection to motivation.
  2. The chapter could be improved by reducing the amount of general content (e.g., about dementia) by summarising and providing links to other relevant wiki resources, and then providing more detail material about the topic i.e., environmental design for PLWD.
  3. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. The Overview is too detailed - instead outline what the problem is and the approach of the chapter.
  2. The Conclusion could be improved by giving it more teeth - what are the practical, take-home messages about designing environments for PLWD? This chapter shouldn't just be about designing institutional environments, but also home environment modifications for those in the earlier stages of dementia. There are some environment audit tools available that offer practical assessment and modification guides.
  3. There is a lack of integration of motivation or emotion theory.

Research[edit]

  1. This chapter could be improved by incorporating the work of Richard Fleming from University of Wollongong (e.g., http://ro.uow.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1675&context=hbspapers)- a hint in this direction was offered in the topic development feedback to search Wikiversity for related resources that were developed in conjunction with Richard's research program.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Spelling can be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  4. Limited use of figures and tables.
  5. APA style
    1. Citations
      1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Reduce content on what is dementia, dementia treatment etc. Increase focus on environmental design for helping to improve the lives of PLWD. The actual addressing of the topic only starts of 1:45. Expand the material between 1:45 and 2:30.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. Narrate the opening slide.
  2. Increase font size.
  3. No use of images or animation etc.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The presentation is under the maximum time limit.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Licensing is confusing - CC is mentioned in the description, but a Standard Youtube license is used - be consistent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:49, 28 November 2017 (UTC)