Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Freedom and motivation

Initial suggestions

@U3217955: Thanks for tackling this topic.

Some initial suggestions:

• This is a challenging topic (because it is broad and could connect with philosophy), but it is fascinating.
• Focus on motivation and, specifically, the effects of freedom on motivation
• Perhaps consider:
  • lack of freedom vs too much freedom pros and cons for motivation
  • What is the optimal amount of choice? What else does this depend on?
  • What psychological theories can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?
• Check out other freedom-related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work.

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:13, 6 August 2023 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted Headings Very promising structure Consider possibly splitting "Excessive freedom versus lack of freedom on motivation" into two separate sections. Alternatively, consider integrating optimal into this section (i.e., cover too little, too much, and optimal in different sections) Where does reactance fit? What about learned helplessness? Overview Start with case study to attract reader interest; consider embedding an image into the case study Check and correct spelling Add a brief, evocative description of the problem/topic Consider adding an image Focus question - remove first question (or turn it into a reflection question in the Overview). Move/integrate/merge the general questions into the focus questions Key points Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings Promising balance of theory and research Conclusion (the most important section): Underway Figure A relevant figure is presented Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text Learning feature Case study included Basic quiz included Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Consider including more examples/case studies, table(s) etc. Consider customising the quiz questions so that there are about freedom and motivation (i.e., the take-home messages) References Good For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Resources See also Excellent External links Excellent User page Good Brief description about self provided – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Wow, very extensive and easy to follow - thankyou! - at least three different types of contributions with direct link(s) to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 19 September 2023 (UTC)

Chapter comments

@U3217955: I've made some edits to the following sections of your chapter: Overview, Reflection question, Case study and Intrinsic motivation. Please let me know how you feel about these edits and I'll continue to edit over the next couple of weeks.

In relation to Morris' reference, does Morris mean to distinguish between not having the freedom to act or make choices and not having the authority or power to make choices or act? Also, is the context of Morris' reference around self-autonomy? As loss of individual freedom would be disempowering on its own but so would not having the authority to make decisions or choices about self. I'd suggest some clarification around what Morriss is arguing.

--JasnaM (discuss • contribs) 01:17, 26 September 2023 (UTC)

Hi Jasna, tanks for the regular feedback and edits, much appreciated!! U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:40, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi Thrainn,

Your book chapter is looking great so far! Just wished to make a minor suggestion in regards to your case studies. I have noticed that you have a few different ones, and I was suggesting that to avoid possible confusion, perhaps labelling each case study with a number may help, as I was reading them I thought they were linked. For example, a basic 'Case study 1', 'Case study 2' etc, or have a unique title for each can help personalise the content more.

Kind regards, Angela

(U3227684 (discuss • contribs)=U3227684) (U3227684 (discuss • contribs)=U3227684 19:58, 4 October 2023 (UTC).

Hi Angela, yes good idea!! Thanks. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:41, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter Edits

Hi Thrainn @U3217955, I have read through your chapter today - it is looking good :) Your paragraphs are mostly cohesive, language tone/style is appropriate, the structure is clear, and your spelling/grammar is much better than you made out in your post :)

Couple of improvement suggestions (in addition to the comments I directly posted on your book chapter page - sorry if they make it a bit tedious to edit now but I couldn't think of a better way to offer assistance). Also, I apologise in advance if any of my feedback comes across as explaining stuff you already are competent at - I am really just trying to help as per your discussion post request.

• I feel your chapter would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the Overview - while I know your topic, I am not as clear what your argument is in relation to your topic. This would be one or two sentences that clearly and directly respond to your chapter question or prompt. The thesis statement should be succinct and focused solely on the argument that you intend to support throughout the chapter.

• there is some repetition that you may want to address - two sentences in a row that start with the same word. Alternative wording choice may give a more natural flow

• you may want to check the use of personal pronouns such as I, you, or we in your writing. I know our audience is a general reader, but usually in academic writing it is better to avoid using first person language and use 3rd person language instead. However, I can see in the Book Chapter Guidelines that 1st or 2nd person is ok for examples, case studies, feature boxes

• I also recommend you keep a check on apostrophe usage (ownership) and word capitalisation (proper nouns - specific person, place, organisation, or thing) as you continue to edit your chapter. I fixed a bunch of these for you today which you can view by comparing two versions in the History tab

• Some of your prepositions are incorrect, which is impacting your overall clarity. Prepositions are words that show the relationships between nouns, noun phrases and other parts of a sentence. These are words like to, on, in, from, with, and for. I read the page aloud and if I stumble when reading, that usually gives me a clue about an incorrect preposition.

Hope that helps and all the best for your chapter. Let me know if I can help further or if you need any clarification.

PS I have loaded a graphic about comma use onto your discussion post, that Studiosity added to one of my submissions, which you may find helpful :) Studiosity is a great place to upload your near completed document for a grammar check - it is a free service UC provides to students - you can get access from our eLearn site - Syllabus page under Welcome there is a link to Help and Studiosity is under the UC Study Resources heading.

Best regards, Jorja -- JorjaFive (discuss • contribs) 09:45, 28 September 2023 (UTC)

Hi Again Thrainn, I have updated your Reference list so it uses en-dash (–) between the page numbers. As you add your other references, you can keep them consistent by copying the en-dash character from this message :) Best regards, Jorja -- JorjaFive (discuss • contribs) 11:12, 3 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi Jorja, this has been very helpful. Thank you. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:41, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter Edits (in-text referencing)

Hi Thrainn, I noticed there were some errors in your in-text references, so I went through and edited the format to be in line with APA 7. Just to clarify, in-text references with two authors should follow that format of (Author & Author, Year) or Author and Author (Year). For example, instead of including a comma after the first author like (Gagné, & Deci, 2005), it should be (Gagné & Deci, 2005). Same with "et al." Instead of (Bartholomew, et al., 2011), it should be (Bartholomew et al., 2011). The UC referencing guide is a great resource for APA referencing, there are lots of examples on there :) All the best, --U3230003 (discuss • contribs) 10:40, 30 September 2023 (UTC)

Hello, much appreciated. Thanks! U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:42, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Chapter edits: Reactance case study, reactance, learned helplessness and quiz

Hi Thrainn,

I've made some substantial edits to the above sections. The main reasons for the edits were 'comma splicing errors'. It seemed like there were usually two ideas in each sentence, which made some of the text hard to read. I'd encourage you to write in shorter sentences. If you find that your sentence runs longer than one line and there is a comma in there, consider separating it into two.

All the best with your chapter.

--JasnaM (discuss • contribs) 01:32, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi Jasna, again much appreciated, been very helpful. U3217955 (discuss • contribs) 22:42, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Well developed Overview Explains the problem or phenomenon Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example. Consider adding an image. Clear/Basic focus question(s) The focus questions could be improved by being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title) Theory An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Key citations are well used Research Excellent review of relevant research Excellent critical thinking about relevant research is evident Claims are referenced Integration Excellent integration between theory and research Conclusion Very good summary and conclusion Key points are well summarised Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good Often where a sentence starts with "Although" it would be better replaced with "However," Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) Figures Basic use of figures Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text Citations use correct APA style References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[1] Check and correct use of italicisation Learning features Excellent use of learning features No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Basic use of image(s) No use of table(s) Good use of feature box(es) Very good use of quiz(zes) or reflection question(s) Very good use of case studies or examples Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Very good use of external links in the "External links" section Use sentence casing Social contribution ~50+ logged, useful, social contributions across multiple platforms with direct links to evidence Thanks very much for your extensive contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:01, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Very engaging introduction to hook audience interest A context for the presentation is clearly established through an example Focus questions and/or an outline of topics are presented Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations to support claims The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with excellent take-home message(s) Audio The audio is easy to follow, and interesting to listen to The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio Audio communication is well paced Excellent intonation enhances listener interest and engagement The narration is well practiced and/or performed Audio recording quality was excellent The narrated content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Video Overall, visual display quality is very good The presentation makes effective use of text-based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read Consider using a sans-serif typeface to make the text easier to read The presentation is well produced using simple tools The visual content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Meta-data The chapter title and sub-title (or an abbreviation to fit within the 100 character limit) are used in the name of the presentation — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. Excellent use of time codes Links to and from the book chapter are provided Licensing A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:42, 8 November 2023 (UTC)