Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Ego death

Initial suggestions

@Gaissa: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

• Check out other related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work:
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Death
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Self
• What psychological theories can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:12, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

Suggestion

Hi Gaissa! I have read through your chapter and think you have a lot of interesting information! It's written well and is easy to read. I have added an image (Figure 1) to add some visually stimulating content to your chapter. Please look at this and see if this is something that fits nicely into your chapter. Finally, I do suggest having more in cite references to back up your arguments. For example: (John et al., 2023). Other than that, you have made great progress! Good luck with the rest of the semester!

Marnie U3204500 (discuss • contribs) 01:39, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:10, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and incorrectly formatted (capitalisation) The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted Remove user name – authorship is as per the list of topics and the page's editing history Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing Consider adopting closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development Use of questions as headings can be effective Reconsider use of "3.2 Relevance of previous Case study?" as a heading Use default heading style (e.g., remove underline) Overview Limited development Add a scenario or case study into a feature box (with an image) at the start of this section to help catch reader interest Add a brief, evocative description of the problem/topic Closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings is recommended Present focus questions in a feature box at the end of this section Remove quiz heading - instead embed any quiz questions within the most relevant sections without a heading Key points Promising development of key points for each section, with some relevant citations It is unclear whether the best available psychological theory and research has been consulted in the preparation of this plan A lot of the citations do not go to the best psychological theory and research, but to secondary, web sources. This is problematic and unlikely to satisfy the criteria for the book chapter. For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research, with practical examples Conclusion (the most important section): Underway What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?) Figure Uploaded figures have been removed due to copyright violation Learning feature Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Case study could be improved by providing more detail about the ego death/dissolution experience itself rather than the surrounding circumstances Promising use of quiz question(s) References Use either APA style or wiki referencing style, but not both. Currently, a mixture of referencing styles is used. Move non-academic / non-peer reviewed sources to External links Wikipedia links should be embedded inter-wiki links (see Tutorial 02) Are there any systematic reviews about this topic? Remember that the goal is to identify and use the best academic theory and research about this topic Resources Not developed User page Created – minimal, but sufficient Very brief description about self provided – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution None summarised on user page with direct link(s) to evidence – this was covered in Tutorial 03. Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see how to earn marks for social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:10, 27 September 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section Well under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Reasonably good Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or scenario in a feature box; ideally, include a relevant image Explains topic Briefly explain ego Briefly explain ego death Useful focus questions Simplify to single questions (rather than double/triple questions) Theory Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory about this topic Too much content about ego development; not enough about ego death What is the role of the default mode network? (see and integrate with separate chapter) Build more strongly on other related chapters and/or Wikipedia articles(e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Basic depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) The chapter makes many unsubstantiated claims and uses a non-scientific style No use of tables, figures, and/or lists are to help convey key theoretical information Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Insufficient use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Insufficient review of relevant research More detail about key studies would be ideal Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area? Greater emphasis on effect sizes could be helpful. Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Integration Insufficient integration between theory and research The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research Conclusion Basic summary and conclusion Remind the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest Key points are well summarised Add practical, take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard mainly due to the lack of scientific orientation and integrated use of the best peer-reviewed psychological theory and research about this topic. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Convey one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet points into full sentences and paragraphs Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. very first -> first) in science-based communication Layout Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see tags) Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) APA style Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99) Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, write in your own words Figures Figures are briefly captioned Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1) Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: Do not include author first name or initials Full-stops should be after citations at the end of sentences References are not in full APA style. For example: Remove numbering Check and correct use of capitalisation[1] Use author initials instead of first and middle names Check and correct use of italicisation Include page numbers Include hyperlinked dois Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section Learning features Basic use of learning features No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. One non-embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links, per Tutorial 02 Move links to non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section Basic use of image(s) No use of table(s) Basic use of feature box(es) Basic use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) Basic use of case studies or examples Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Use bullet points per Tutorial 02 Rename links per Tutorial 02 Use alphabetical order Include sources in parentheses Move external links to the external link section Basic use of external links in the "External links" section Rename links per Tutorial 02 Use alphabetical order Include sources in parentheses Social contribution ~4 logged, useful, mostly minor social contributions with direct links to evidence ~3 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:36, 3 November 2023 (UTC)