Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Death drive

Initial suggestions

@U3197031: Thanks for tackling this topic.

Some initial suggestions:

• Note that there was a previous attempt, so check out that chapter and the feedback on its talk page.
• Check out other related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work:
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Death
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Drive
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Psychodynamics
• What psychological theories can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:38, 6 August 2023 (UTC)

Hi there,

As I was reading your chapter, could you perhaps include a section on differentiating between death drive and suicidal ideation. I had an assumption at first that the two concepts are similar, but maybe they influence each other? This would be a great idea to avoid confusion which can further clarify the main concept behind death drive. Your chosen topic is very fascinating, because when I saw the topic, I realised that I was interested in the content. I am looking forward to reading your complete book chapter!

(U3227684 (discuss • contribs)=U3227684) (U3227684 (discuss • contribs) 13:19, 22 August 2023 (UTC)=U3227684 11:18, 22 August 2023 (UTC))

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted Headings Excellent – Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic "4 Negative emotions and understanding them" - probably should say something about death drive 5 - Ampersand should be "and" 6 = maybe remove "own" Overview Very good Add a scenario in a feature box at the start to help catch reader interest Includes image, evocative description of the problem/topic with relevant psychological theory/research, and focus questions Probably too much planned here - move extra details into subsequent sections Key points Excellent – key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations Promising balance of theory and research Conclusion (the most important section): Well developed Figure Excellent - A relevant figure is presented, captioned, and cited Develop caption so it corresponds more closely to the text Consider decreasing image size to make it less dominant in relation to the text Learning feature Promising use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Promising use of example(s)/case study(ies) Consider including quiz question(s), table(s) etc. References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: consistency of doi formatting page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Resources See also Excellent External links Excellent User page Excellent – used effectively Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Three contributions with indirect link(s) to evidence If adding the second or subsequent link to a page (or a talk/discussion page), create a direct link like / Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Great to see you on X (formerly known as Twitter)!

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:28, 23 September 2023 (UTC)

Edits

Hi there,

This was such an interesting chapter, well done! You have provided great information and some really relevant sources. I have proofread your chapter and made some adjustments I thought would better fit the marking criteria. I fixed up some of your spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and also added clarification templates where I thought you could do something differently. I moved the figure up to your scenario as it was relevant there. I also created a coloured box and small image around your quiz to look more enticing. Finally, I just fixed up some doi hyperlinks in your reference list.

Great job! Please reply if you have any questions about the changes I've made.

U3223909 (discuss • contribs) 01:51, 4 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi,

Thank you so much for your feedback, I have found it very helpful! U3197031 (discuss • contribs) 00:19, 7 October 2023 (UTC)

Edits

Hi this is looking great so far. Just a small edit, this sentence could be deleted as it is repetitive.

'Freud proposed that life drive was opposed by the Eros and then later maintained the life drive was opposed by the death drive. ' --KATE HERLIHY (discuss • contribs) 05:43, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi,

Thank you for pointing this out to me! U3197031 (discuss • contribs) 00:21, 7 October 2023 (UTC)

Edits

Hi, your chapter was very interesting and informative. I liked the images you have included to make it more interactive. I have made some changes to the errors in your reference list, I hope you don't mind! I have noticed some texts to be chunky (I understand that it is very difficult to summarise everything into such short texts); it might benefit from the use of dot points or tables to make your main ideas clearer. Jingying Chen (discuss • contribs) 20:00, 19 October 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It makes excellent use of psychological theory and good use of research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Solid Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or scenario with an image in a feature box Explains the problem or phenomenon Clear focus questions Theory An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) No use of tables and/or lists are to help clearly convey key theoretical information Key citations are well used Excellent use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Very good review of relevant research More detail about key studies would be ideal Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area? Greater emphasis on effect sizes could be helpful. Very good critical thinking about relevant theory and research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Integration Very good integration between theory and research The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research Conclusion Excellent/ summary and conclusion Key points are well summarised Clear take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) "Use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) Figures Figures are very well captioned Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References use very good APA style More proofreading needed for consistency Learning features Excellent use of learning features Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s) No use of table(s) Excellent use of feature box(es) Excellent use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) Excellent use of case studies or examples Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Excellent use of external links in the "External links" section Use sentence casing Social contribution ~12 logged, useful, minor/moderate/major social contributions with some direct and some indirect (, so unable to easily verify and assess) links to evidence. More info: direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:35, 31 October 2023 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation Overview An opening slide with the sub-title is displayed. Also display and narrate the title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and to be consistent with the book chapter. Very engaging introduction to hook audience interest A context for the presentation is clearly established through an example Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation makes very good/ use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes little to no explicit use of relevant psychological research Ideally, make more explicit use of research The presentation includes citations to support claims The presentation makes very good use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation provides easy to understand information Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with very good take-home message(s) 1st take-home message on slide is awkwardly worded Audio The audio is easy to follow The presentation makes very good use of narrated audio Audio communication is well paced Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic intonation The narration could benefit from further practice Audio recording quality was good. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard and/or mouse clicks were audible). Consider using an external microphone. The narrated content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Video Overall, visual display quality is good The presentation makes effective/good/basic use of text and image based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time Check and correct spelling e.g., "moitvation", "phsiological", "feild", "minimalising" -> "minimising", "behaivours", " The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by images Also consider using diagrams The presentation is well produced using simple tools The visual content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Meta-data The chapter sub-title but not the chapter title is used in the name of the presentation. The title would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A very brief written description of the presentation is provided. Expand. Excellent use of time codes Links to and from the book chapter are provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated Ideally, provide clickable links to the original image sources (e.g., in the description) A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:39, 9 November 2023 (UTC)