Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Approach motivation

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Chapter development[edit source]

Hi, It looks like you have a great outline of your chapter. One minor edit you could make is to have a section titled 'what is approach motivation' and 'how does approach motivation lead to behaviour', as these are the subtitle of the chapter. Keep going! U3216256 (discusscontribs) 02:40, 23 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Hello! I like the book chapter outline so far and it looks like you have a good plan so far. I would suggest implementing some Case study Boxes, Example Boxes and more interactive features such as a quick true or false to help engage your reader. Good work so far! U3216389 (discusscontribs) 01:31, 13 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted

User page[edit source]

  1. Created – minimal, but sufficient
  2. Very brief description about self provided – consider expanding
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence

Headings[edit source]

  1. Promising 2-level heading structure
  2. Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
  3. Consider using the sub-title questions as headings
  4. Could be more selective about which theories to concentrate on e.g., maybe focus on three, with embedded links to book chapters or Wikipedia articles about other theories
  5. Consider covering research with each of the main sections rather than having a stand-alone research section

Key points[edit source]

  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. an example or case study
  3. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
  4. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  5. Consider including more examples/case studies
  6. Write the chapter using 3rd person perspective, although a case study or feature box could use 1st or 2nd person perspective
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Underway

Figure[edit source]

  1. Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned
  2. The figure caption(s) provide(s) a clear description that is meaningfully connected with the main text
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text

References[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Limited development
    2. Also link to relevant book chapters
    3. Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages
  2. External links
    1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:51, 26 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Book chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits

Overview[edit source]

  1. Well developed Overview
  2. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon
  3. Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image
  4. Clear focus question(s)

Theory – Breadth[edit source]

  1. An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. Builds somewhat on previous, related chapters

Theory – Depth[edit source]

  1. Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)

Research – Key findings[edit source]

  1. Excellent review of relevant research

Research – Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Very good critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Claims are referenced

Integration[edit source]

  1. Excellent integration between theory and research

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. Excellent summary and conclusion
  2. Insufficient as a cohesive summary of the best available psychological theory and research about the topic
  3. Key points are well summarised
  4. Clear take-home message(s)

Written expression – Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent
    2. Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [1][2]
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
    4. Direct quotes are over-used. Even better, communicate concepts in your own words.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections
  3. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[3] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min)
    2. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect
  4. APA style
    1. Write numbers under 10 using words (e.g., five). Write numbers 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 10).
    2. Figures
      1. Figures are well captioned
      2. Figure captions use the correct format
      3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
    3. Citations use correct APA style
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[4]

Written expression – Learning features[edit source]

  1. Excellent use of learning features
  2. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example.
  3. One use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Very good use of image(s)
  5. Very good use of feature box(es)
  6. Excellent use of quiz(zes)
  7. Very good use of case studies or examples
  8. Very good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
  9. Good use of external links in the "External links" section

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~7 logged, useful, mostly minor social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:34, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes

Overview[edit source]

  1. An opening slide with the title is displayed. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has a basic introduction
  3. Consider creating an engaging introduction to hook audience interest
  4. A basic context for the topic is established
  5. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation.

Content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. The presentation is well/poorly structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion)
  4. The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation includes citations to support claims
  7. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit

Audio[edit source]

  1. The audio is easy to follow
  2. The presentation makes good use of narrated audio
  3. Audio communication is well paced
  4. Good intonation
  5. The narration is well practiced
  6. Audio recording quality was OK. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard and/or mouse clicks were audible). Consider using an external microphone.

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides, with very basic use of images
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. The amount of text presented on some slides could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time
  5. The visual communication could be improved by including more relevant images and/or diagrams
  6. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  4. A link to the book chapter is provided

Licensing[edit source]

  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the presentation description but not in the meta-data
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:56, 22 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]