Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Serenity

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development Editing recommendation Hi! Really interesting topic! I like your writing style. Just a few editing notes, your description for figure one in the text says it displays the process of meditation, however it is more a visual representation of meditation. I would suggest rewording this to be “displays a visual representation of the peace awarded to the body through meditation, a way of fostering serenity”, and also changing the textbox below the image to give a better description to the relevance in the text. Aside from that it looks good! I like the use of quizzes after every section, allows for good ineraction! --U3187874 (discuss • contribs) 06:09, 17 October 2021 (UTC) Hey looking good, you might want to try do a bit of restructuring make it a bit more flow on through the questions that are around the topic, I suggest having a clear spot for the consequences of I guess not having serenity? - a heading for the consequences then blah, blah, blah under. --U3202710 (discuss • contribs) 08:37, 17 October 2021 (UTC) -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:35, 17 September 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title The title and sub-title are correctly worded Formatting has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents User page Excellent - used effectively Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing It makes logical sense to use the sub-title questions as top-level headings - this has been partially implemented Basic, 1-level heading structure - Consider further development of headings to include a "What is serenity?" heading and possibly sub-headings in the main sections Key points Overview - Consider adding: an image an example or case study Basic development of key points for each section, with relevant citations There seems to be reasonably good coverage of theory; strive to balance with review of relevant research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies Conclusion (the most important section): under developed what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title? Figure A figure is presented Caption should include Figure X. ... Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text Consider decreasing image size References A mixture of referencing styles are used - some APA style, some wiki style - choose one style and use it consistently. For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation full journal titles doi formatting (make hyperlinks active - have fixed) separate page numbers by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Resources See also Very good Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:35, 17 September 2021 (UTC)

Referencing style

Hi, I really like what you have in so far, and I am looking forward to see how you expand your points. Please remember to look at your reference list to check that it complies to a style. I find APA, as i've used it quite a bit now, easier to conform to. Good luck

Feature boxes

Hello, I noticed there was some inconsistency in the feature boxes, I bolded the questions in your quiz boxes and fixed up a grammatical error in one of the quiz questions to fix this issue --Brianna Meddemmen (discuss • contribs) 13:11, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter. Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations. This chapter is well under the maximum word count. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Basic Overview. Clear focus question(s). Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest. Theory — Breadth Basic coverage of theory is provided. Some of the selected theories are quite broad/general (e.g., facial feedback hypothesis). Other potentially relevant theories are not considered (e.g., physiological aspects such as arousal, neuroscience etc.). Ideally, this chapter could refer to (e.g., through embedded links), and more strongly build on, other related chapters (see Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Mindfulness). Theory — Depth Basic depth is provided about the selected theory(ies). Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Place more emphasis on explaining the underlying theoretical constructs than methods of measurement. Research — Key findings Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of relevant psychological research. More detail about key studies would be ideal. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations suggesting specific directions for future research Integration There is basic integration between theory and research. Conclusion Basic summary. Address the focus questions. Add practical, take-home messages. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Proofreading Remove unnecessary capitalisation. APA style Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.. Figures and tables Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation). Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Use either APA style or wiki style - but not both styles. Needs consolidating (e.g., several references are listed multiple times) Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is good. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. One use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). Very good use of feature box(es). Basic use of quiz(zes). Basic use of case studies or examples. 1]]. Social contribution ~5 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:55, 7 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section. There is too much focus on measurement (this isn't one of the focus questions). A better structure would be to more closely arrange the presentation around the three questions in the sub-title. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological research. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. Conclusion The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Audio The audio is easy to follow. Audio communication is well paced. Audio recording quality was very good/good/poor. The narrated content is partly matched to the target topic. Video Overall, visual display quality is good. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools. Meta-data The chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the presentation description or remove the presentation. This presentation may have violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:42, 18 November 2021 (UTC)