From u3187741: Hi! You've got some great references and internal links so far but you may want to add this book chapter as well, as it covers a similar topic to yours!
Hi! I have just had a look at your page and I am really interested in your topic. I just wanted to suggest that defining sex as the act rather than the reproductive trait may be useful, as it is unclear in your overview that you are referring to sexual intercourse. I didn't want to edit this in, in case you didn't agree! Good luck :)
Rani
u3190257
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence
Great to see you on Twitter - include #emot21 with unit-related Twitter posts
Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Promising 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development by expanding the structure. Concentrate on "the role of pleasure and sexual motivation" (i.e., bring these two concepts together rather than talking about them separately).
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
Perhaps consider questions such as: What is the source of sexual pleasure? (e.g., to what extent is it physiological vs. psychological?) Why do we experience sexual pleasure? When don't we experience sexual pleasure (and why)? What role does sexual pleasure play in well-being and happiness? etc. What are the downsides of sexual pleasure (e.g., sex obsession/addiction? sexual predatory behaviour? sexual objectification?). How can sexual pleasure be enhanced?
Reeve (2018) is not a primary source - but it can be used to help track down primary sources of interest
Check and remove extra spaces
Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
Use British/Australian spelling (e.g., analyze -> analyse; behavior -> behaviour)
For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
Overview - Consider adding:
focus questions
an image
an example or case study
Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
Consider including more examples/case studies
Conclusion (the most important section):
underway
what might the take-home, practical messages be?
in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
Layout
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
Overall, the use of learning features is very good.
One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Basic use of image(s).
No use of table(s).
Excellent use of feature box(es).
Excellent use of quiz(zes).
Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section.
Basic use of external links in the "External links" section.
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
The presentation addresses the topic.
There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content.
The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory.
The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research.
The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio.
Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
Basic intonation. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
Audio recording quality was basic. The audio is quiet. Probably an on-board microphone was used. Consider using an external microphone.