Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Optimism and pessimism

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Comments[edit source]

Hi there, I would like to suggest you have another look at the guide of this assignment because I feel that your references are not in APA format. Hope that could help.--U3195440 (discusscontribs) 23:24, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. Title - Excellent
  2. Sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.

Headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development to limit the focus on background information and related concepts and expand the focus on the target topic.

Key points[edit source]

  1. There is lot of concerted effort here - the issue is the lack of match between the current sub-title question and the proposed content.
  2. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  3. Avoid providing too much background (e.g., definitions, history, philosophy) and tangentially related information (e.g., health). Instead, briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Essentially this topic is currently to focus on the dimensionality of explanatory styles ("Are optimism and pessimism opposite ends of a single continuum or two different constructs?") using psychological theory and research. Currently the only section which directly tackles this topic is: "The relationship between optimism and pessimism". Alternatively, we could negotiate a different sub-title (e.g., to make it broader) - feel free to discuss in a drop-in tutorial or email alternative proposed wording.
  4. This chapter can provide an entry point with embedded and see also links to more specific chapters about different aspects of optimism and pessimism.
  5. Some paragraphs are overly long. Aim for three to fives sentences. Consider shortening or splitting.
  6. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings.
  7. Overview - Consider:
    1. summarising the problem/issues/question more briefly
    2. adding focus questions
    3. adding an image
    4. adding an example or case study
  8. Avoid overcapitalisation (APA style) e.g., Explanatory Style -> explanatory style - more info

Figure[edit source]

  1. Excellent
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. Include italics
  3. Provide clickable hyperlinks

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also - very good
  2. External links - none provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:23, 5 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hi there!

Great job on the work you have put into your book chapter so far! I do have a couple of suggestions that I hope assist as you finish it off. Firstly, I found the overview felt slightly too long. Remember, this is where you introduce the reader to the topic, and outline the rest of the chapter ( https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter ). Secondly, you might want to refocus on answering the question. As a reader, I want to know the answer to whether optimism and pessimism opposite ends of a single continuum or two different constructs. It would be good to consider both sides of the argument to have a strong conclusion based on both theory and research. Finally, make sure that your referencing is consistent. Footnotes go after punctuation ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Footnotes ). Also, make sure you don't add references just for the sake of it - remember they count as part of the word limit.

I hope these pointers help, and that you have a rewarding end to the semester!

U3202904 (discusscontribs) 10:50, 15 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, thanks for the feedback, it was very helpful. I had spent some time fixing up the footnotes earlier, but it seems I had missed a few. In regards to refocusing the question and word limit, I removed the section on the explanatory style. On review, I found it was outside the scope of the topic, and served more of a distraction than anything substantiative.
Thank you again, and best of luck with any other final work. Robert.E.House (discusscontribs) 11:19, 17 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter does a reasonably good job of applying psychological theory and research to a real-world problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Overview[edit source]

  1. Well explained Overview.
  2. Consider developing focus questions to help guide the reader and structure the chapter.
  3. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest.

Theory — Breadth[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.

Theory — Depth[edit source]

  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Key citations are well used.
  3. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts.

Research — Key findings[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed.
  2. Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research.

Research — Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Very good critical thinking about research is evident.

Integration[edit source]

  1. Discussion of theory and research is well integrated.
  2. The chapter places more emphasis on research detail than practical illustration of theory.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. Overly focuses on research.
  2. Consider reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest.
  3. Add practical, take-home messages.

Written expression — Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
  2. Layout
    1. Some headings are overly long.
    2. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
  4. APA style
    1. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    2. Only use author surnames.

Written expression — Learning features[edit source]

  1. Overall, the use of learning features is basic.
  2. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links, per Tutorial 1.
  5. Very good use of image(s).
  6. No use of table(s).
  7. No use of feature box(es).
  8. No use of quiz(zes).
  9. Case studies are research-based. It could be helpful to provide people-based case studies.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~3 logged, useful, minor to moderate social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:56, 7 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a good to very good presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes.

Overview[edit source]

  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A context for the topic is established.
  3. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.

Content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation is well structured.
  5. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory.
  6. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological research.
  7. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with clear take-home message(s).
  2. Approximately half of the Conclusion did not fit within the time limit.

Audio[edit source]

  1. The audio is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio.
  3. Audio communication is clear and well paced.
  4. Good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement.
  5. Audio recording quality was very good.

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is good.
  2. The presentation makes good use of text and image based slides.
  3. The font size is just large enough for a presentation. But it would be easier to read if the font size was larger.
  4. The amount of text presented per slide should be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams.
  6. The presentation is well produced using simple tools.

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the name of the presentation - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.
  4. The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This introduces limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist.

Licensing[edit source]

  1. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:14, 19 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]