Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Optimism and coping

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Latest comment: 2 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback
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Comments[edit source]

Hey there, your book chapter looks awesome! For your optimism and coping with mental health section, here are a couple of references I found interesting looking at the interaction between optimism and mental health, 'Sharot, T. (2011). The optimism bias. Current Biology, 21(23), 941-R945. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2011.10.030' and ;Korn, C., Sharot, T., Walter, H., Heekeren, H., & Dolan, R. (2013). Depression is related to an absence of optimistically biased belief updating about future life events. Psychological Medicine, 44(3), 579-592. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291713001074' --U3187208 (discusscontribs) 01:22, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hey there, thank you very much for this ill have a look and I will see where i can add them :) BlueDreams55 (discusscontribs) 03:11, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

This is a really interesting subject! I love anything to do with optimism and cannot wait to see your chapter completed. I have provided a different way to present your quote to help it stand out. Hope it helps value add to your chapter.--U3167879 (discusscontribs) 11:32, 18 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hey there, I'm very sorry for the late response thank you very much for that it looks so much better! :) BlueDreams55 (discusscontribs) 03:31, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Tragic Optimism[edit source]

Hi Boushra! I love your chapter! I always find myself trying to be optimistic about anything and everything. Interesting to see that optimism can be a coping mechanism! I think you might find tragic optimism an interesting topic to include or research. There has been heaps of research over the last two years on the concept due to the COVID-19 pandemic, however it also relates to other trauma as well. Here is a link to an article which defines TO as a trauma treatment! https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09515070.2019.1633497 --U3187874 (discusscontribs) 06:19, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Fabulous - used effectively
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  3. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.
  2. 1st contribution needs an external link added

Headings[edit source]

  1. Promising 2-level structure under development - but keep working on it as knowledge of the topic develops.
  2. I like the use of questions, but for use as headings, keep them brief. I've abbreviated some of the headings.
  3. Note that the venture into well-being and mental health could be interesting extra but is arguably alsoout of scope in terms of addressing the topic.
  4. "How has COVID-19 influenced optimism and coping?" can be an interesting case study, especially if you can find relevant research, but treat it as a case study rather than a heading because it is not needed to answer the topic question. Also note to link from here to relevant COVID chapters.

Key points[edit source]

  1. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings.
  2. Direct quotes should have citations and page numbers.
  3. Avoid overuse of the word "individual".
  4. When introducing the concepts of optimism and coping, link to related chapters for more information, that way the current chapter can focus on their relationship.
  5. The overview paragraphs do a good job of explaining the chapter focus and structure. Probably in that case, the focus questions box isn't needed. Alternatively, abbreviate the paragraphs and expand the focus questions.
  6. Some of the questions about the relationship between optimism and coping are probably unnecessary, but good ones to ask in the initial stages of scoping the topic. The answer could possibly be as simple as considering optimism as one type of coping strategy and then examining the theory and research about optimism as coping strategy - how well does it work, when doesn't it work so well etc. There is the possibility here too of renegotiating the sub-title if you can think of a better one for explaining the relation between optimism and coping.
  7. Expand theory and research.
  8. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title?
  9. Cite each reference at least once in the main text.

Figure[edit source]

  1. Several figure are presented.
  2. Check and correct sequential figure numbering.
  3. Caption
    1. uses APA style.
  4. Captions are descriptive but don't quite succeed in reinforcing or expanding key points from the body text. Rewrite.
  5. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Linking etc. is excellent - but I think there are much more relevant chapters for this chapter to link to e.g., ones about optimism and coping.
  2. External links
    1. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    2. Include source in brackets after link

I also made these copyedits

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:16, 30 August 2021 (UTC)Reply

Some suggestions[edit source]

Hi,

I've read through your page after seeing your request for feedback on the discussion page. Generally, I think you page looks quite good. However, I would suggest expanding some sections. Particularly the definitions of optimism and coping are very short and academic. Could you expand on them at all, maybe with a real world example for each? Your conclusion also feels quite abrupt and limited, could you expand this do you think?

I would also suggest going through and checking for active vs passive language. Personally, I write a lot in passive voice, but the active voice has more flow and can be understood better. Here (external link to Walden University) is a good guide to academic active voice. I hope this was helpful.

Good luck! JediClass


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. This chapter is slightly over the maximum word count which was avoidable by simplifying some of the written expression.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Overview[edit source]

  1. The Overview was rather convoluted - see my edits for suggestions about how to write more succintly.
  2. Focus questions could be helpful.
  3. Several optional topics are suggested - rather than focusing on psychological theory and research about the core topic (i.e., the relationship between optimism and coping).
  4. A case study could help to help engage reader interest.

Theory — Breadth[edit source]

  1. Basic coverage of relevant theory is provided.
  2. The chapter starts focusing on the relationship between optimism and coping about half-way through. This indicates that there is too much preamble.
  3. Applied examples are useful, but the chapter tries to cover too much theoretical territory (e.g., 1. no real need to cover gender differences - but if it is to be covered, what's the theory about why there might be gender differences in the relationship between optimism and coping? 2. The discussion about biological aspects of coping seemed irrelevant as it wasn't related to optimism).

Theory — Depth[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter provides basic depth about the psychological theory explaining the relationship between optimism and coping. Most of the focus in on explaining coping as a stand-alone concept and optimism as a stand-alone concept. There is a lack of sufficient focus on theory about how optimism functions as a coping strategy.
  2. The chapter seems to assume that the relationship between optimism and coping is positive. But aren't there situations where optimism is not a good coping strategy (e.g., unrealistic optimism can undermine motivation for health screening).
  3. Did you consult Cannon (1929)? If not, this should be cited as a secondary source.

Research — Key findings[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research.
  2. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful (e.g., https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1003_3).

Research — Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Basic critical thinking about evident.
  2. Critical thinking could be further evidenced by: considering the strength of relationship between optimism and coping and the causality/directionality of the relationship.
  3. A small number of claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).

Integration[edit source]

  1. The chapter places more emphasis on theory than research.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. The Conclusion provides a basic summary.
  2. Take-home message is clear, but simplistic.

Written expression — Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is OK.
    2. The main areas for potential improvement are to reduce the length of the sentences, remove weasel words, and improve grammar.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Use serial commas[1] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
  4. APA style
    1. Figures and tables
      1. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    2. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
        1. in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
        2. in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
    3. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[2].

Written expression — Learning features[edit source]

  1. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
  2. Ideally, provide embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  3. Excellent use of image(s). Image sizes could be optimised - some seem too big, some too small.
  4. Very good use of table(s).
  5. Good use of feature box(es).
  6. No use of quiz(zes).
  7. Good use of case studies or examples, although the relevance of Eric case study was unclear - how are optimism and coping related in this case?

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~9 logged, mostly minor, social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:59, 26 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient multimedia presentation about the target topic.
  2. This is an interesting presentation visually (using a self-made video - lovely garden! - with music). However, I don't think the visuals helped in any particular way with communicating the core messages.
  3. The presentation is under the maximum time limit.

Overview[edit source]

  1. Add and narrate an opening slide with the title and sub-title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has an engaging introduction to hook audience interest.
  3. A context for the topic is established.
  4. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.

Content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. Lazaro -> Lazarus
  6. The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological research.
  7. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. The presentation provides a basic, general conclusion.
  2. The presentation could be strengthened by adding more specific, practical, take-home messages based on focus questions.

Audio[edit source]

  1. The audio is interesting to listen to.
  2. Consider using shorter sentences, with longer pauses between.
  3. Clear articulation and good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement.
  4. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  5. It would probably help to mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is interesting, but from an educational point of view doesn't really help in communicating the core concepts and messages.
  2. Consider introducing at least some visual key points such as for the Overview and Conclusion and perhaps some overlaid text.

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The correct chapter title and sub-title are not used in the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A written description of the presentation is not provided.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.

Licensing[edit source]

  1. The copyright status for the music does not appear to allow re-use.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:18, 19 November 2021 (UTC)Reply