Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Fear appeals

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Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:41, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title[edit source]

  1. Missing - I've added

User page[edit source]

  1. Add description about self
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  3. I've added a link to the book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. None summarised with link(s) to evidence.

Headings[edit source]

  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  2. I've added the standard headings
  3. Under-developed, 1-level heading structure - develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the largest section(s).

Key points[edit source]

  1. Avoid overcapitalisation (APA style) - more info
  2. Limited development of key points
  3. Lack of sufficient citations
  4. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. a description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. focus questions
    3. an image
    4. an example or case study
  5. Expand theory and research.
  6. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  7. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  8. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?

Figure[edit source]

  1. A figure is presented.
  2. Caption should include Figure X. ...
  3. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  5. Consider decreasing image size.

References[edit source]

  1. Insufficient
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. alphabetical order
    2. capitalisation
    3. italicisation
    4. doi formatting

Resources[edit source]

  1. None provided
  2. I've added a See also example

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:41, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a good sufficient chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Overview[edit source]

  1. The Overview is underdeveloped.
  2. Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail.
  3. The focus questions could be improved by being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title).
  4. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest.

Theory — Breadth[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are selected, described, and explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  3. Discussion of theory is sometimes dry and abstract. Consider using more practical examples.
  4. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Fear).

Theory — Depth[edit source]

  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. For example, provide embedded links to relevant advertising media.
  3. More tables and/or lists could be used to help clearly convey key theoretical information.

Research — Key findings[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is reviewed.
  2. The first case study seems to report results that are subsequently contradicted (e.g., by the meta-analysis). Explain and integrate, to present a more cohesive message.
  3. Excellent that a key meta-analysis is reviewed. But more detail would be ideal. For example, how many studies, what was the effect size etc.?

Research — Critical thinking[edit source]

  1. Good critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. considering the strength of relationships
    2. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).

Integration[edit source]

  1. There is very good integration between theory and research.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. Basic summary.
  2. Address the focus questions.
  3. Add practical, take-home message(s).

Written expression — Style[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
    4. Some of the written expression is quite abstract, which makes this a difficult read for an unfamiliar reader. Consider ways of simplifying the written expression to make it more accessible to a wider audience. This is the essence of science communication.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
    3. Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold).
    4. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
  3. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min).
    2. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    3. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2].
    4. Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:).
  4. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    4. Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words.
    5. Figures and tables
      1. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
      2. Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example.
      3. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    6. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. Multiple citations in parentheses should be listed in alphabetical order by first author surname.
      2. Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses.
    7. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation
      2. "Retrieved from" is no longer used (APA style, 7th ed.)
      3. Include hyperlinked dois
      4. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section

Written expression — Learning features[edit source]

  1. Overall, the use of learning features is basic.
  2. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Good use of image(s).
  5. No use of table(s).
  6. Very good use of feature box(es).
  7. Basic use of quiz(zes).
  8. Basic use of case studies or examples.
  9. Format bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1 (e.g., for the focus questions).

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~3 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:49, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.

Overview[edit source]

  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and partially narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest.
  3. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  4. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.

Content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological research.
  6. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.

Conclusion[edit source]

  1. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Audio[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio.
  2. Audio communication is well paced.
  3. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  4. Audio recording quality was basic. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., quiet, tinny, white noise, keyboard/mouse clicks audible). Consider using an external microphone.

Video[edit source]

  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides.
  3. The font size is mostly sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  5. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time.
  6. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools.

Meta-data[edit source]

  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  4. A link from the book chapter is not provided. I've added it.

Licensing[edit source]

  1. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the presentation description or remove the presentation.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the presentation description but not in the meta-data.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:50, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]