Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Epigenetic impacts on emotional well-being

Comment

Hi. I really like your topic so far! You've got a lot of detail and good references.— Preceding unsigned comment added by [[User:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]] ([[User talk:{{{1}}}#top|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/{{{1}}}|contribs]])

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title Title correct Sub-title was incorrect - now fixed Submitted username was incorrect User page Excellent - used effectively Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Social contributions should be made either directly to chapters or comments add to chapter discussion pages. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Headings Problematic - the headings aren't sufficient focused on directly addressing the topic i.e., "How can epigenetics influence emotional well-being?" Key points Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Overview and Conclusion not developed - these are arguably the most important sections. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings. Use bullet points (see Tutorial 1 - Using Wikiversity) The most relevant content in terms of addressing the topic is contained in the section misleadingly labelled as "Modern definitions". Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style) - even better, write in your own words. Basic development of key points for some sections, with relevant citations. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Figure Two figures are presented. Caption should include Figure X. (italicised and with period) These figures are probably overly complex for this chapter. If they are to be used, increase the size to make them more easily viewable and make a clearer connection with the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Very good Some references are incomplete. Resources Very good Move external links into the External links section

Note my sense in reviewing this topic development is that you may not have been engaging in tutorials? Just a hunch. If this is the case, I recommend tutorials to support with skills and advice for the major project. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:01, 2 September 2021 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:23, 2 November 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview The Overview is OK. The Overview could be rewritten to provide a more accessible introduction to the topic (e.g., consider adding an example and/or an image). Clear focus question(s). Theory — Breadth Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory. Theory — Depth Reasonable depth is provided about the selected theory(ies). Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research — Key findings Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Critical thinking about research is sufficient. Critical thinking about research could be further demonstrated by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies considering the strength of relationships suggesting specific directions for future research Integration Discussion of theory and research is reasonably well integrated. Conclusion The Conclusion offers a reasonable summary. Add practical, take-home messages. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. Some statements could be explained more clearly (e.g., see the tags). Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Reduce use of weasel words (e.g., "it is considered", "known to be", "scholars") which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning. Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. "profound") in science-based communication. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. See earlier comments about heading casing. Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Check and make correct use of commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. Spelling Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour). Proofreading More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. Remove unnecessary capitalisation (e.g., War). Replace double spaces with single spaces. APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Direct quotes need page numbers. Figures and tables Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of italicisation Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Check and correct doi formatting Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is basic. Format bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1. Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). No use of table(s). Very good use of feature box(es). Very good use of quiz(zes). Basic use of case studies or examples. Social contribution 0 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:23, 2 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation. Overview The sub-title is missing on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A context for the topic is established. Focus questions are presented. The Overview is long - almost 1 min - consider abbreviating. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section. The presentation addresses the topic. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research, mainly via a detailed case study. The presentation makes good use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a general take-home message(s). Audio The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio. Audio communication is clear and well paced. Good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement. Audio recording quality was basic. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., there is some white noise). Consider using an external microphone. Audio cut off on 3rd-last slide, at transition to Conclusion. Video Overall, visual display quality is good. The presentation makes good use of text and image based slides. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides. The font size is sufficiently large on some slides to make them easy to read. Some of the font size on other slides should be larger to make it easier to read. Consider using a sans-serif typeface to make the text easier to read. The amount of text presented per slide on some slides makes it easy to read and listen at the same time. The amount of text presented on some slides should be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time. The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams. The presentation is well produced using simple tools. Meta-data The correct chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. No written description of the presentation is provided. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. Links to and from the book chapter are provided. The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This introduces limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info. Licensing Some of the image sources are communicated; some are missing. The copyright status of images are not communicated. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the presentation description or remove the presentation. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:48, 20 November 2021 (UTC)