Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Creative arts and trauma

Heading casing

Hi U3190095. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:51, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title Title missing Sub-title incorrect Username removed - authorship is as per page history User page Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with link(s) to evidence. Headings Use default heading formatting (e.g., avoid bold, italics, underline etc.). Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Key points Basic development of key points for each section, with relevant citations. Use primary academic sources as references. For example, Headspace is most likely a secondary source, not a primary source. Headspace is also very Australian. Target an international audience. You need to read and synthesise the best available academic literature on the topic and not rely on websites. Websites can be used, however, in External links. Avoid providing too much background information (e.g., about trauma and creative arts therapy as separate constructs). Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style) - even better, write in your own words. Use APA style 7th edition for citations with three or more authors (i.e., use FirstAuthor et al., year). Overview - Consider adding: a description of the problem focus questions an image an example or case study Expand theory and research. The best sentence so far is "Creative arts therapy is the expression of the unconscious and non verbalised, through creative arts expressive symbolism, which can be beneficial when dealing with trauma on an neurological and biological level as shown in the decrease of emotional distress in the additional research and case studies section." - expand the chapter with this focus. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Conclusion (the most important section): what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title? Figure A figure is presented. Add APA style caption. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Move websites to External links. For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation doi formatting Resources See also If these are academic articles, move them into References If these are external websites, move them into External links Rename links so that they are more user friendly Include source in brackets after link Link to relevant book chapters Link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links None presented

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:51, 4 September 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient and incomplete chapter. My guess is that the recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours were not invested in preparing this chapter and that the assessment skills taught in tutorials haven't been sufficiently developed. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. Under the maximum word count. Many claims are made without sufficient citation. Overview Expand the opening sentence. There are too many focus questions. Focus. For each question, follow-up with a useful take-away message in the Conclusion. Theory — Breadth Coverage of theory is promising, but insufficient. There is an over reliance on a small number of citations (e.g., Czamanski-Cohen & Weihs, 2016) Consider providing separate sub-sections for each theoretical perspective about how creative arts may be useful in dealing with trauma (e.g., cognitive, neuroscience etc.) Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters about art therapy and/or trauma). Theory — Depth Insufficient depth is provided about the selected theoretical perspectives. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research — Key findings Basic, but insufficient overview of relevant research. Strive to synthesise the findings. Report and interpret effect sizes rather than descriptive statistics and p levels. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations suggesting specific directions for future research Many claims are unreferenced. Integration Basic integration of theory and research. Conclusion Basic summary. What are the take-away messages for each focus question? Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. There are too many top-level headings and too few sub-headings. Grammar The grammar for many sentences is incorrect. The quality of written expression is below professional standard. Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Check and make correct use of commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[1]. Spelling Spell checking is needed. Proofreading More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. Remove excessive capitalisation (e.g., there should be no capitals in this passage: "... topics such as Hedonism, Aesthetics, Positive psychology Mind-body dualism and memory consolidation, neurobiology. Creative arts therapy, in ...". APA style Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words. Citations are not in APA style e.g., a space is needed before parentheses Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is insufficient. Basic use of images. Add descriptive captions. Refer to each Figure at least once in the main text. Basic use of quiz questions. Fix grammar. Social contribution 1 late, rather ironical social contribution (about time management, grammar, and productivity) of dubious value to peers.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:15, 10 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation. The presentation is under the maximum time limit. Overview The sub-title is presented on the opening slide. The title is missing on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. Content The presentation addresses the topic. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. Conclusion The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Audio The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. Audio recording quality was OK. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., keyboard clicks audible). Consider using an external microphone. Video Overall, visual display quality is good. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools. The reference list text is too small to read. The reference list would be better presented in the description. Meta-data The chapter title but not the sub-title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the presentation description or remove the presentation. This presentation may have violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:36, 15 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia resubmission feedback

Notable points about the multimedia presentation resubmission:

• Overall
  • This is a basic but sufficient presentation.
  • The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.
• Overview
  • The opening slide presents and narrates the title and sub-title in a basic way. No further context provided.
  • Check and correct grammar (e.g., question mark missing from title of slide shown at 00:39 mins).
• Content
  • Trauma is defined.
  • Creative arts therapy is defined.
  • A basic explanation of theory is provided. No specific emotional theories are mentioned or cited.
  • Two research studies about creative art therapy interventions are described.
  • Effect sizes would be more useful in addition to p values - i.e., how much change was there?
• Conclusion
  • Does not fit within the time limit, so ignored for marking purposes.
• Audio
  • The narrated audio is clear and well-paced with reasonable intonation.
  • Recording quality is OK. There is some white noise.
• Video
  • The visual presentation makes good use of text and images.
  • The text size is easy to read.
  • The amount of text per slide could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time.
  • The visual content is relevant to the topic.
  • Hide the presentation icon (in the middle of the screen).
• Meta-data
  • The presentation uses the correct title and partially correct sub-title.
  • No description of the presentation is provided.
  • A link to the book chapter is provided.
  • No link from the book chapter to the updated presentation is provided. I've made this change.
• Licensing
  • Copyright restricted images have been used without permission, violating the rights of the copyright owner. For example, the image shown at 00:30 mins clearly indicates the copyright status in the bottom right corner of the image. This presentation should be removed.
  • No copyright license for the presentation is indicated.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:45, 26 November 2021 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission feedback

1. These changes were reviewed. These copyedits were added.
2. Overall, minor improvements have been made.
3. The chapter is well under the maximum word count.
4. The correct title was added.
5. There are minor improvements to theory.
6. There are minor improvements to research.
7. A link the multimedia presentation was added.
8. The Overview was removed.
9. Direct quotes are overused - it is better to express concepts in your own words.
10. Quiz questions are added. The wording is not grammatically correct.
11. Some images have been added. APA style captions are not used. The images are not cited in the text.
12. Some paragraphs are overly long. Aim for 3 to 5 sentences.
13. Citations do not use correct APA style (e.g., use et al. when there are three or more authors).
14. References are still not in consistent and correct APA style (e.g., APA style no longer uses "Retrieved from (date)").

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:03, 6 December 2021 (UTC)