Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Work and passion

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Contained duplicate chapter content; removed and replaced with a link to the chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. None summarised with links to evidence.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Under-developed
  2. Check and correct consistency of capitalisation and grammar (e.g., question marks for questions)

Key points[edit source]

  1. Use Heading Level 2 for the top-level heading
  2. Remove generic template content
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. a case study
  4. Very basic development of some key points for each section, without relevant citations.
  5. It doesn't appear that much relevant literature has been identified and incorporated into the plan
  6. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  7. Consider including more examples/case studies.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption does not use APA style.
  3. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. OK.
  2. For full APA style, use:
    1. correct italicisation
    2. the new recommended format for dois

Resources[edit source]

  1. Check and correct capitalisation
  2. See also
    1. Also link to relevant book chapters
  3. External links
    1. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:43, 12 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Well-being theory[edit source]

Hello, looks like an intresting topic. I can see you were looking at wellbeing, and may I suggest that you refer to Seligman's PERMA theory of well-being. this outlines 5 indicators of well-being that may be a good foundation.

--U3190210 (discusscontribs) 09:25, 30 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:12, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. This is an insufficient chapter.
  2. Sub-title adjusted to match the main book table of contents.
  3. The focus questions are not phrased as questions.
  4. The chapter could benefit from further development of the Overview and Conclusion - it should be possible to only read these sections and get a good sense of why the topic is important and what is known/recommended.
  5. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  6. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. There is insufficient coverage of theory.
  2. Some general motivational theory is used, but there is little to no evidence that indepth reading about the psychology of passion has been undertaken.

Research[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  4. Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. UC Study Skills assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills to a professional standard.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links, per Tutorial 1.
    4. One image.
    5. No use of table(s).
    6. Basic use of feature box(es).
    7. No use of quiz(zes).
    8. No use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
    3. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3].
    4. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
  5. Spelling
    1. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  7. APA style
    1. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    2. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
      3. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    3. Citations are not in APA style. For example:
      1. Remove author initials.
      2. Include a space after a comma.
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      2. Include hyperlinked dois.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. No logged social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:12, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation.
  2. The presentation is under the maximum time limit.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Comments about the book chapter also largely apply to this section.
  2. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. The selection of content is poor because it doesn't adequately use the most relevant psychological theory and/or research to address the topic.
  4. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant theory about passion.
  5. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant research.
  6. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  7. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides, with some images, and narrated audio.
  2. Well paced.
  3. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  4. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech.
  5. The audio communication is hesitant - could benefit from further practice.
  6. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The video is basically produced using simple tools.
  2. The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter.
  3. Audio recording quality was OK.
  4. Visual display quality was basic.
  5. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the video description or remove the presentation.
  6. This presentation may have violated the copyrights of image owners.
  7. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  8. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  9. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  10. A incomplete written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:20, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]