Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Transpersonal psychology

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:18, 16 August 2020 (UTC)

@U3195247: In addition to using sentence casing, also just use default heading font (e.g., no bold) Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:33, 26 August 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Ensure title and sub-title matches the book table of contents User page Created Used effectively About me Description about self provided Add description about self Consider linking to your eportfolio Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence. Abbreviate the summary and add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Section headings Overly complicated 3-level structure for this exercise - simplify. The purpose of the current chapter is to provide a 4000 word max (all inclusive) high-level, accessible intro to "What is transpersonal psychology?". In future, other students can develop more specific transpersonal psychology topics. The current chapter can be a gateway to more specific chapters. Some of those chapters already exist and so links should be provided to them. Avoid being author-centric; instead be theory-centric. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points This is a difficult plan to read and comment on because some sections are empty whereas others have a lot of text. It would be easier to provide feedback if a few key points were suggested for each section. Overview Avoid sub-headings Consider adding focus questions Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style); even better, write in your own words. Theory-heavy; research-light - check this plan against the book chapter marking criteria. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Conclusion (the most important section) hasn't been developed. Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption does not use APA style. could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References OK. For APA referencing style, check and correct: alphabetical order capitalisation doi formatting Resources See also Very good Wikipedia links No links to other book chapters External links Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:03, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

-- Citaiton: I may be wrong but I think were adhering to APA format for this assignemnt, https://libguides.mq.edu.au/referencing/APA7thEdition heres a link if you need it --Oscar3176498 (discuss • contribs) 23:45, 16 October 2020 (UTC)

Capitalisation

Reduce the over-capitalisation in the current draft. More info: https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/capitalization Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:04, 11 October 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this chapter provides an comprehensive theoretical and historical overview of the field of transpersonal psychology. There are two main ways this chapter could be improved in terms of satisfying the assignment requirements: This chapter is a long way over the maximum word count, so my reading has skimmed it somewhere. Clearly there needed to be more selectivity/discipline in structuring an approach to address the topic within the author guidelines. The hope was for this chapter to provide an overview/entry coverage of TP, which could then, down the track, become an entry point to additional chapters about more specific aspects of TP. These managing word count suggestions may be helpful. The chapter could be improved by providing a great emphasis on research about TP. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained. This is the key strength of the chapter. Use of citations is excellent. Case studies are excellent. Research This chapter is theory-heavy but research-light. Greater emphasis on research could improve this chapter. In particular, greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Here is one example of some collated TP research: http://www.atpweb.org/jtparchive/trps-25-93-01-011.pdf Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. The chapter offers a reasonably well developed Overview and Conclusion. The Overview could be improved by setting out some clear focus question(s). The Conclusion could be improved by providing some more practical take-home messages. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Learning features Fabulous use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). Basic use of table(s). No use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Excellent use of case studies or examples. Grammar is very good Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. 1960's should generally be 1960s etc. - unless referring to a year's/period's ownership of something Spelling is excellent Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment). APA style Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis. In general, do not capitalize the names of diseases, disorders, therapies, treatments, theories, concepts, hypotheses, principles, models, and statistical procedures (e.g., Transpersonal Psychology -> transpersonal psychology). Direct quotes need page numbers. Figures and tables Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations use correct APA style. References should include hyperlinked dois. Social contribution ~7 claimed social contributions, but without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:14, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation, with the modality well matched to the topic. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. A broad, comprehensive perspective is provided in a relatively short amount of time. The presentation is well structured. The presentation makes excellent use of theory. The presentation makes limited use of research. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Communication The presentation is fun and interesting to watch and listen to. The presentation makes effective and creative use of animated slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent intonation and articulation enhance listener interest and engagement. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. Production quality The video is very well produced. The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter. Audio recording quality was excellent. Visual display quality was excellent. Music but not image sources are provided. Acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:22, 24 November 2020 (UTC)