Latest comment: 4 years ago2 comments2 people in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Abbreviate the summary and add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Overly complicated 3-level structure for this exercise - simplify. The purpose of the current chapter is to provide a 4000 word max (all inclusive) high-level, accessible intro to "What is transpersonal psychology?". In future, other students can develop more specific transpersonal psychology topics. The current chapter can be a gateway to more specific chapters. Some of those chapters already exist and so links should be provided to them.
Avoid being author-centric; instead be theory-centric.
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
This is a difficult plan to read and comment on because some sections are empty whereas others have a lot of text. It would be easier to provide feedback if a few key points were suggested for each section.
Overview
Avoid sub-headings
Consider adding focus questions
Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style); even better, write in your own words.
Theory-heavy; research-light - check this plan against the book chapter marking criteria.
Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
Consider including more examples/case studies.
Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.
Conclusion (the most important section) hasn't been developed.
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this chapter provides an comprehensive theoretical and historical overview of the field of transpersonal psychology.
There are two main ways this chapter could be improved in terms of satisfying the assignment requirements:
This chapter is a long way over the maximum word count, so my reading has skimmed it somewhere. Clearly there needed to be more selectivity/discipline in structuring an approach to address the topic within the author guidelines. The hope was for this chapter to provide an overview/entry coverage of TP, which could then, down the track, become an entry point to additional chapters about more specific aspects of TP. These managing word count suggestions may be helpful.
The chapter could be improved by providing a great emphasis on research about TP.
For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
Greater emphasis on research could improve this chapter. In particular, greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Here is one example of some collated TP research: http://www.atpweb.org/jtparchive/trps-25-93-01-011.pdf
Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent.
Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
The chapter offers a reasonably well developed Overview and Conclusion. The Overview could be improved by setting out some clear focus question(s). The Conclusion could be improved by providing some more practical take-home messages.
Layout
The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Learning features
Fabulous use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. A broad, comprehensive perspective is provided in a relatively short amount of time.
The presentation is well structured.
The presentation makes excellent use of theory.
The presentation makes limited use of research.
The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter.
Audio recording quality was excellent.
Visual display quality was excellent.
Music but not image sources are provided. Acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description.
A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
A link to the book chapter is provided.
A link from the book chapter is provided.
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.