Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Parricide motivation

Research article

Thought this might be an interesting article for your book chapter! https://www.researchgate.net/publication/321606189_Parricide_An_Introduction_for_Clinical_and_Forensic_Mental_Health_Professionals--U3187486 (discuss • contribs) 02:10, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

Case study suggestion

Might be worth looking into the Richardson family murders case, very interesting story. May provide you with insight for your chapter. --U3177510 (discuss • contribs) 12:56, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Hey there ! When discussing specific case studies, it may be interesting discuss the aftermath of the event - such as, a longitudinal study that follows up on the events and how the murderer (if alive) perceives their actions. :) --U3190016 (discuss • contribs) 14:40, 7 October 2020 (UTC)

Sub-heading advice

Hi,
I suggest the sub-heading is too long. The topic is specific for the book chapter, maybe you can change to motivational theories. It is easier for people to read and understand.
--U3178984 (discuss • contribs) 03:20, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Hey! I'm guessing you're not done but on the topic of subheadings - James recommends that if you're using subheadings you should be using two or more in any given section. Otherwise you have to question whether a subheading is really needed or if it could just be shown under the main heading. Good luck with your chapter!--U3190052 (discuss • contribs) 08:14, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Overview

Hey, just a suggestion that you may want to add an overview section, stating the aim of the chapter kind of like an abstract i.e. the aim of this chapter is to gain a better understanding of why children murder their parents --Laurenpeel (discuss • contribs) 02:42, 6 October 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title OK Sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents. What motivates a child to kill their parent? is also a viable sub-title, so just let me know if you'd like to switch to this over. User page Excellent Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Social contribution Excellent Summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Section headings The Overview and Conclusion should not have sub-headings. Under-developed, 2-level heading structure - develop further Inconsistent casing Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points Basic development. Avoid providing too much background information (e.g., "What is motivation?"). Briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Reasonable emphasis on theory No emphasis on research No emphasis on practical applications Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption uses APA style.. could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References OK For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation doi formatting Resources See also Rename links so that they are more user friendly External links Rename links so that they are more user friendly Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:57, 14 September 2020 (UTC)

APA referencing

Hey, just a reminder that for APA 7th edition if you have three or more authors you need to write: et al., for example where you have written Marleau, Auclair & Millaud, 2006 this should be Marleau et al., (2006).

Also just be careful when you use direct quotes you need to have a page number. Excited to see your final page, very interesting topic. --U3190210 (discuss • contribs) 10:35, 10 October 2020 (UTC)

Grammar

Hey, just helped you with the capitalization on your first heading and moved the question mark so that there are no gaps. --U3114726 (discuss • contribs) 05:40, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter. "Evil", "heinous" etc. are rather loaded terms. Consider being more objective, especially given that this chapter should represent a psychological, rather than a moral, perspective. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided. Did you consult Freud (1913) and other such sources? If not, they should be cited as secondary sources. Research Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead, use section linking. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1]. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. Learning features Use bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good use of image(s). No use of table(s). Very good use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Grammar Check and make correct use of commas. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3]. Proofreading Remove unnecessary capitalisation. Replace double spaces with single spaces. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. APA style Direct quotes need page numbers. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Figures and tables Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., check and correct capitalisation, do not use italics). Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation. Check and correct use of italicisation. Include hyperlinked dois. Social contribution ~19 logged, social contributions about half with direct links to evidence and the other half without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:22, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation. This presentation makes creative and effective use of Powtoon. Structure and content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Very minor - no full-stops needed after stand-alone citations. Communication The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Excellent/Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Production quality The chapter title but not the sub-title are used in the video title - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was very good. Visual display quality was excellent. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:42, 13 November 2020 (UTC)