Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
I added a few symptoms based on the Mayo article you had in your reference list. Please feel free to delete or adjust it if it doesnt work with your chapter. All the best. David.
--U115433 (discuss • contribs) 10:05, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Many people interpret all caps as SHOUTING - consider using sentence casing
Otherwise excellent
Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
2nd link worked well - however, note that this the wiki style uses sentence casing - i.e., first letter capitalised, the rest lowercase (unless a proper noun)
Reasonable development of key points for most sections, with relevant citations.
Overview - Consider simplifying e.g, to include:
a description of the problem and what will be covered
focus questions
an image
an example or case study
Then move the rest of the content into subsequent sections
Ideally, use in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Other links can be moved to the external links section.
Consider including more examples/case studies.
Include APA style citations.
Conclusion (the most important section):
hasn't been developed
what might the take-home, practical messages be?
in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title?
The uploaded image has been claimed as your own work - is this true? I doubt it because the image appears elsewhere on the web. So, I've nominated the image for deletion.
hi here's a useful link on the precursors of panic attacks
HAYWARD, C., KILLEN, J., KRAEMER, H., & TAYLOR, C. (2000). Predictors of Panic Attacks in Adolescents. Journal Of The American Academy Of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 39(2), 207-214. doi: 10.1097/00004583-200002000-00021OwenUC (discuss • contribs) 07:50, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
The selection and coverage of relevant theory is reasonably good, but lacks sufficient connection to primary, peer-reviewed sources and integration with peer-reviewed research sources.
The term "correlation" is incorrectly used several times in this chapter - in some places, this has been changed.
The emphasis is on approaches to clinical treatment of panic disorder - but this is only experienced by 1% of the population. The chapter should also be written for the other 99% who may experience panic from time to time.
More case studies could be helpful (e.g., demonstrate key knowledge through a story of someone who learns to better manage their experience of panic - take the reader through the crucial steps).
Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research. The chapter lacks sufficient grounding in the top psychological science about panic.
Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. UC Study Skills assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills to a professional standard.
"People" is often a better term than "individuals"; similarly "participants" is preferred to "subjects".
Ideally, use in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Other links can be moved to the external links section.
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
The Conclusion could be improved by providing practical, take-home messages.
Layout
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Learning features
Promising use of embedded in-text links, however these should mostly be interwiki links to Wikipedia articles rather than external links. Move the external links to the external links section.
Basic use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding more in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Basic use of image(s). Several images were removed because they lacked sufficient licensing information. Renumber Figures accordingly.
No use of table(s).
Basic use of feature box(es).
Good use of quiz(zes).
Basic use of case studies or examples.
Grammar
The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). For example, "is" is often used instead of "are".
~10 logged, mostly last minute, mostly useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence. However, some edits seemed to problematic because they removed content (mostly references) from some book chapters?
Latest comment: 4 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Audio recording quality was basic - probably an on-board microphone was used because keyboard clicks were audible. Consider using an external microphone.
Visual display quality was good.
Consider splitting the two-column slides into two separate slides.
Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description or remove the presentation.
This presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement.
A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
A link to the book chapter is provided.
A link from the book chapter is provided.
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.