Potential for more in-depth information[edit source]
I would like to see some information on how the bond between mother and infant is measured. Also, think you could delve further into oxytocin and its effect on emotions, and these demonstrated within the mother-infant example. U3202026 (discuss • contribs) 09:10, 30 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.
If editing a Wikiversity page which already exists, add direct links to evidence like this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Good to see the chapter considering what happens when the mother doesn't bond well with the infant - and why, particularly the role of oxytocin in these situations?
Better than "in the above subsection ‘Skin to skin contact’", provide a link e.g., in the skin to skin contact section.
Remember to refer to all figures at least once in the text
Use 3rd person perspective (e.g,. search for instances of "you" and rewrite).
APA style:
Where 'apostrophes' are used for emphasis, these should be "double quote marks".
Citations: (Bell, et. al., 2014) should be (Bell, et al., 2014)
References - APA style 7 (see the UCLearn Discussions for more inf:
Check and correct capitalisation
Use italicisation
Remove "Retrieved from"
Provide the full doi website address as an active hyperlink
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a very good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
The main areas for potential improvement are to address the topic within the maximum word count, provide closer citation of claims, and to improve the quality of written expression by addressing grammatical problems.
Initially, there is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained.
Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory, but more careful citation of claims is needed.
Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
When describing important research findings, consider indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Layout
The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
Learning features
Use bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1.
Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
Minimal use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Very good use of image(s). Some image sizes could be increased to make them easier to read.
No use of table(s).
Excellent use of feature box(es).
Excellent use of quiz(zes).
Grammar
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').
Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., vs., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
Spelling
Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
APA style
Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
Figures and tables
Figure 3 was removed due to lack of copyright information.
Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics).
Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
Formatting for citations with three or more authors should be either:
in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
References are not in full APA style. For example:
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
There is probably a little too much content. Zoom out to provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. Focusing on the content that is most relevant to addressing the question: "What role does oxytocin play in mother-infant bonding?" (so, perhaps, a little less on oxytocin and birth itself).
The presentation is well structured, with clear focus questions.
The presentation makes excellent use of theory.
The presentation makes implicit use of research - could be more explicit.
The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies.
A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
The presentation is interesting to watch and listen to.
The presentation makes effective use of animated slides.
Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
