Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Fundamental attribution error and emotion

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Headings format[edit source]

  • Heading formatting should present at least +3 subheading
  • Consider using bold instead of heading formats, short-cut Ctrl-B or alternative wrap text with 3 single-quotations

U3187226 (discusscontribs) 09:33, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Very good
  2. Add a heading when commenting on a discussion/talk page.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 3-level heading structure - could benefit from further development.
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Overall, well developed.
  2. Overview opening paragraph is rather abstract - consider moving it below the examples.
  3. Conclusion (the most important section) hasn't been developed.
  4. Perhaps consider how this topic may relate to learned helplessness and learned optimism.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption
    1. uses APA style.
    2. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  4. Some uploaded images were deleted - probably for not providing sufficient/appropriate copyright information

References[edit source]

  1. Very good.
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. doi formatting

Resources[edit source]

  1. Very good
  2. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:46, 13 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Focus questions[edit source]

I suggested that put focus questions into a round box, which easier to catch up.--U3178984 (discusscontribs) 03:39, 12 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

How to[edit source]

To add the boxes for the questions use this input into edit source and replace the text with what you want to be included!

Text

U3202026 (discusscontribs) 01:36, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Layout and sections[edit source]

This is looking really good and you have alot of content, however i would suggest to try and combine some of the sections so there aren't so many small sections. For example the what is the relationship, how do our emotions influence and why do our emotions play a role could all be combine into a section called the 'emotions and the fundamental attribution error' and can have subsection within it for each of the sections. --U3187381 (discusscontribs) 00:59, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. It could be improved by:
    1. Being rewritten using a highly standard of written expression.
    2. Using more primary, peer-reviewed sources and fewer secondary, non-peer-reviewed sources.
  2. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter.
  3. Overview is helpful and promising, especially the examples. Not all the focus questions are questions. Consider trimming down to ~3 questions.
  4. This chapter makes insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations. Non-peer reviewed sources are over-used. Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section.
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided.
  2. There is a lack of sufficient detail about which specific emotions have what effect on FAE. For example, consider anger: Lerner, J. S., Goldberg, J. H., & Tetlock, P. E. (1998). Sober second thought: The effects of accountability, anger, and authoritarianism on attributions of responsibility. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24(6), 563-574. There was some initially promising content about the the influence of positive and negative emotions on the FAE - this could be expanded.
  3. The sections about learned helplessness and learned optimism should be more focused on how they relate to the emotion/FAE relationship.

Research[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some statements could be explained more clearly.
    2. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead, use section linking.
    4. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"; similarly "participants" is preferred to "subjects".
    5. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1].
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. The "The fundamental attribution error as a motivation" isn't necessary as it isn't directly related to the topic.
  3. Learning features
    1. See also - move external links to the external links section.
    2. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive.
    3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    4. Good use of image(s).
    5. No use of table(s).
    6. Basic use of feature box(es).
    7. Basic use of quiz(zes).
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    3. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').
    5. Abbreviations
      1. Once the FAE abbreviation is established, use it.
      2. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
    3. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
  7. APA style
    1. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Citations use correct APA style.
    3. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~5 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:02, 8 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. The presentation makes good use of theory.
  4. The presentation makes little use of research.
  5. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  6. A Conclusion slide is presented but it is beyond the maximum time limit.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is hard to follow because so much visual and auditory content is presented so quickly.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read, with less text on each slide.
  5. The visual communication is supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The video is produced using simple tools.
  2. Consider removing the speaker icon from each slide.
  3. The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter.
  4. Audio recording quality was good.
  5. Visual display quality was basic.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is/not provided.
  8. An active link to the book chapter is not provided.
  9. A link from the book chapter is provided, but it goes to a section rather than the top of the chapter.
  10. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:01, 20 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]