Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Dental fear

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Feedback[edit source]

Hey! I found this great article on the causes, symptoms and consequences of dental fear. It could contribute in a big way to help you kickstart your page! https://europepmc.org/article/med/6590605 Hope you enjoy :)

Hey! It might be useful to look at different theories on how people develop phobias. I've found a website that provides some background information on the psychoanalytic theory, learning theory, and biological theory which might spark some interest. I hope this helps! https://www.verywellmind.com/theories-on-the-development-of-phobias-2671514#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20learning%20theory,staying%20away%20from%20a%20snake. --Taylor Mamukic (discusscontribs) 02:44, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

Hey there! I see that you are discussing prevalence rates of dental fear, so I thought that this article may help you discuss this! It is titled "The extent and nature of dental fear and phobia in Australia" by Armfield (2010) which can be found here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1834-7819.2010.01256.x I hope this helps with your chapter! :) --U3190016 (discusscontribs) 12:31, 12 October 2020 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be:

== Cats and mice ==

rather than

== Cats and Mice ==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:22, 19 September 2020 (UTC)


Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. Capitalisation of the title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  3. Authorship details removed - authorship is as per the page's editing history

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence.
  2. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development.
  2. Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections.
  3. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. international (not just US) prevalence.
    2. an image.
    3. an example or case study.
  2. Basic development of key points for each section.
  3. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption
    1. does not use APA style (replace colon with full-stop).
    2. could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
  3. Excellent

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Also link to relevant book chapters
  2. External links
    1. Name of link should match the target page name
    2. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:22, 19 September 2020 (UTC)

Overview[edit source]

Hey the paragraph you have in the overview would possibly better suited in an introduction section, as i find the overview is more of an abstract. Here are some possible helpful links 'overcome dental anxiety', 'how to end fear of the dentist', topic sounds interesting interested to see how it ends up --Laurenpeel (discusscontribs) 04:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter.
  2. The main areas for improvement include:
    1. more detailed explanation of relevant theory
    2. more detailed explanation of relevant research
    3. greater use of peer-reviewed sources and less use of non-peer-reviewed sources
  3. Move non-peer-reviewed sources (e.g., What is Dental Phobia, 2018) to external links; replace citations with peer-reviewed sources.
  4. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Promising, but insufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided.
  2. Anxiety is not a mental health disorder. It is a more general description of a state of worry. Generalised anxiety disorder is a disorder. This is an important distinction.
  3. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).

Research[edit source]

  1. Promising, but insufficient use of research.
  2. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. Perhaps consider the potential role of the environment (e.g., pictures, sound/music, virtual reality)
  4. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  5. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
    2. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter.
    3. Avoid exaggerated/overly emotion expression (e.g., "huge"). Similarly, the concluding statement that to "to avoid having all your teeth fall out" seems to lack nuance.
    4. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    5. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1].
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section.
  3. Learning features
    1. One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links or see also links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of image(s). Consider also using some more calming imagery?
    4. No use of table(s).
    5. Basic use of feature box(es).
    6. No use of quiz(zes).
    7. Good use of a case study. More could be added.
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    2. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  6. APA style
    1. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    3. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    4. Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis.
    5. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
      2. Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    6. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year (e.g., Smith et al., 2020)
    7. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. Move non-peer-reviewed sources into external links and replace with peer-reviewed sources.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~2 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:07, 8 November 2020 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic but effective presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. The presentation makes good use of theory.
  4. The presentation makes little use of research.
  5. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  6. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is easy to follow and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech.
  5. The audio communication is hesitant - could benefit from further practice.
  6. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  7. The visual communication could be improved by including more relevant images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The sub-title is missing in the video title
  2. Audio recording quality was OK.
  3. Visual display quality was basic but effective.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  5. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A brief written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:05, 20 November 2020 (UTC)