Latest comment: 5 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Hi, I think you have done a great job so far with ZOFH and your case study really demonstrates its usefulness and effect. However, where else can this be applied and are their any examples or research to back up these discoveries? For examples can academic students use ZOFH and how well does this work with them compared to other life areas?
Latest comment: 5 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a promising, interesting chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
Overview provides useful background. To improve, consider including focus questions and a case study.
Maybe also make the distinction that flow theory applies to non-athletic and athletic performance, whereas ZOFH is more focused on athletic performance? Is that true or not? Clarify.
For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
Relevant research is reviewed and discussed in relation to theory, but is at times difficult to follow.
The "major finding" was difficult to understand. Explain more clearly and simply.
There is probably too much emphasis on measurement tools and too little on provide a clear, simple synthesis of research findings. How well is this theory supported by data?
Summarise and link to research evidence about flow and sporting performance.
Overall, the quality of written expression is reasonably good.
Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Some paragraphs are overly long (e.g., final paragraph). Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
Layout
The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
For numbered lists, use Wikiversity formatting per Tutorial 1.
A rich case study is provided and discussed in relation to theory and research. Perhaps it would be helpful to present the case study earlier?
Excellent use of interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive.
No use of embedded links to related book chapters (e.g., novelty seeking). Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Excellent use of images.
Very good use of tables. Table 2 should be Table 1?
Very good use of feature boxes.
Very good use of quizzes.
The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end.
Excellent use of case studies or examples.
Grammar
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
Latest comment: 5 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
The main area for improvement is to remove the background music - it is loud and distracting, making it difficult to concentrate on the narration and video.
The presentation is hard to follow with the intrusive music.
The presentation makes use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
Some of the font size could be larger to make it easier to read.
