Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Mobile phone use while driving motivation

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NRMA resources[edit source]

@JaydenG3: NRMA and probably other automobile associations have some resources which may be of interest e.g., Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:41, 29 August 2019 (UTC)

Comments and Suggestions[edit source]

Your book chapter looks great, one suggestion I would make is to consider the variable of the location of driving. For example, whether mobile phone use while driving occurs more in the city, or whether it occurs more rurally. Perhaps where people drive longer distances. --BMPENFOLD (discusscontribs) 03:12, 13 October 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Good contributions and summaries, but please add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.
  2. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  4. Avoid providing too much background information (e.g., Table 1). Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Key points are well developed for each section.
  2. Include more citations.
  3. Overview - consider adding focus questions.
  4. Perhaps consider FOMO (fear of missing out) as a possible motivator.
  5. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  6. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  7. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image[edit source]

  1. Provided, with an APA style caption
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References[edit source]

  1. OK.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use the new recommended format for dois -
    3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Use bullet-points
    2. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    3. Also link to past relevant chapters
  2. External links
    1. Consider using links appropriate for an international audience; NSW laws could be used as a case study

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:04, 26 September 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is solid chapter that uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Overview - consider building on the sub-title by presenting focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure.
  3. Conclusion - consider beefing this up by providing some practical, take-home messages for improving people's lives.
  4. For additional feedback, see following comments and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. Consider integrating the general theoretical discussion with the application to using mobile phones while driving.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is reasonably good.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion).
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections, however see note above about integrating the general and specific theory sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Use bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1.
    2. Excellent use of interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. ## No use of embedded links to related book chapters. Embedding links links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links.
    4. Basic use of images.
    5. No use of tables.
    6. Basic use of feature boxes.
    7. No use of quizzes.
    8. Some use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2].
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
  6. APA style
    1. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    2. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      2. See new doi format.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~3 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:29, 21 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. This presentation makes use of simple tools.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  2. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives?
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  4. More examples could help to bring the presentation to life.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is pedestrian.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  4. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  5. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality had some white noise - probably an on-board microphone was used because keyboard clicks were audible. Consider using an external microphone.
  3. Visual display quality was basic.
  4. Move the speaker symbol off the slides.
  5. Image sources and their copyright status are provided.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:39, 21 November 2019 (UTC)