Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Leisure and flow

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:20, 19 August 2019 (UTC)

Comments

If you would like to add a Ted Talk to your additional references section for Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's work here is a good one I have used as well! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIeFJCqsPs The chapter reads well and if you are looking at cutting down a few words I could suggest making the nine elements of flow a link to another external reference, that way you could save 200 words on definition and reference it where you need! This is a possible link http://www.meaningandhappiness.com/zone-enjoyment-creativity-elements-flow/26/--Et3115009 (discuss • contribs) 06:52, 20 October 2019 (UTC)

Amazing structure and reads well! Can't wait to see the finished product! --Et3115009 (discuss • contribs) 11:27, 27 August 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Excellent Capitalisation of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents Authorship details removed - authorship is as per the page's editing history A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section. User page Created, with description about self and link to book chapter Used effectively Social contribution Summarise each contribution separately. Provide a direct link to evidence for each contribution. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Section headings Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Key points Good/promising. Consider abbreviating the Overview Use bullet-points for the focus questions As per earlier comment, abbreviate the background info about flow as a stand-alone concept and leisure as a stand-alone concept - and provide internal links to Wikiversity or Wikipedia pages with the more info. Instead, expand the section "The relationship between leisure and flow" because this is what the current chapter should be primarily about. Because this section is so important, consider whether dividing into separate sections or having sub-sections may be useful. Avoid overly long paragraphs - try 3 to 5 sentences. Summary boxes are helpful (use bullet-points) Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Conclusion - practical take-home messages? Write in third person perspective (e.g., remove second person "you", "we" etc.). Image Provided, with an APA style caption (except colon should be a period). Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Good. For full APA style: Arrange references in alphabetical order Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Resources See also Excellent External links None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:51, 26 September 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter from a theoretical and especially research point of view. The chapter could be improved by providing more practical, everyday examples, to help appeal to a general audience. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits. Theory Relevant theory is selected, described, and explained. The discussion is quite abstract. More examples would be helpful (e.g., of casual vs. serious leisure). Research Relevant research is well identified and used. Consider expanding about what is meant by "commitment" - examples? When describing important research findings, consider the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Overall, the written expression is quite abstract. Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Layout Avoid having sections with only one sub-section. Learning features Section summaries are useful. For bullet points, use Wikiversity formatting per Tutorial 1. Consider making greater use of examples such as through case studies to illustrate key points. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive. Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Good, basic use of images. Excellent use of tables. Excellent use of feature boxes. Excellent use of quizzes. No use of case studies or examples. Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent. Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment). APA style Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Refer to each Table and each Figure using APA style at least once within the main text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. A serial comma is needed before "&" or "and" for citations involving three or more authors. References are not in full APA style. For example: See new doi format. Social contribution ~6 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:35, 6 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic but effective presentation that uses simple tools. Structure and content Use your name not mine on the opening slide! Reasonably well selected content - not too much or too little. Perhaps to improve, consider less theoretical content with more examples. The presentation is reasonably well structured. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s), however ideally the take-home messages would be more practical (i.e., what can the viewer apply now, in their everyday lives?). Communication The presentation uses text and image based slides with narrated audio. Reasonably well paced. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is supplemented by images. Production quality The chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Use the chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was OK, but I suspect an on-board microphone was used because keyboard clicks can be heard - review microphone set-up. Video recording quality was excellent. Image sources and their copyright status are provided in general; preferably provide exact links to each image source and indicate their respectives licenses. A copyright license for the presentation is/not provided. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A brief written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:23, 17 November 2019 (UTC)