Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Empathogens and empathy

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Oxytocin[edit source]

Maybe also consider role of oxytocin. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:54, 29 August 2019 (UTC)

Comments[edit source]

Hi! I liked how consistently informative your book chapter has been throughout each section. Specifically, I enjoyed how you provided a few tables and pictures to demonstrate your topic. For improvement, you may like to add more links in your "see also" and "external links". Other than that, your topic sounds really interesting, and I wish you luck with the progress of your book chapter! --U3161960 (discusscontribs) , 20 October 2019 (UTC)


Topic development feedback[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. One summarised with links to evidence

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Well developed 3-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.
  2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. Avoid overly long paragraphs.
  3. Consider introducing a case study in the Overview.
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  5. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption uses APA style.

References[edit source]

  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Also link to relevant chapters
  2. External links
    1. Use bullet-points

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:06, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Social Contribution[edit source]

This is a great chapter and it does a great job at explaining some heavy topics. I added some links on a couple of words or concepts that I felt could use some further explanation on. --Haylzw (discusscontribs) 03:49, 19 October 2019 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter that makes the fatal mistake of not sufficiently addressing the topic.
  2. Excellent Overview.
  3. It is unclear why the chapter narrows in on MDMA. Such a focus is not specified in the title or sub-title. MDMA effects on empathy could be used as part of the chapter, but the chapter focus should be broader, on empathogens and empathy.
  4. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Rather than provide so much detail about empathy, summarise and link to the dedicated book chapter: empathy.
  2. Rather than provide so much detail about MDMA and empathy, summarise and link to the dedicated book chapter: MDMA and emotional empathy.
  3. Develop more content directly about the book chapter topic: empathogens and empathy.

Research[edit source]

  1. Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  2. Similar comments about the focus are relevant here; good coverage of MDMA as an empathogen, but insufficient coverage about other empathogens.
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Very good use of interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive.
    2. No use of embedded links to related book chapters. Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of images.
    4. Basic use of tables.
    5. Basic use of feature boxes. Increase width.
    6. Good use of quizzes.
    7. Basic use of case studies or examples. Perhaps consider using one case study per empathogen discussed.
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2].
    3. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
  5. APA style
    1. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. See new doi format.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~15 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:42, 14 November 2019 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. Reasonably well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  3. Consider adding more examples or case studies.
  4. Add an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  5. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation makes use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Reasonably well paced. Perhaps consider adding slightly longer pauses between sections to allow the viewer to digest and refocus.
  4. Much of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title in the name of the video because this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  5. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A basic written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:55, 15 November 2019 (UTC)