Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Criminal recidivism prevention motivation

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Initial feedback[edit source]

  1. 8 top-level headings between Overview and Conclusion is probably too many - consider which perhaps can be combined/merged or which can be moved to a lower-level of heading
  2. Expand the dot points to explain more clearly what will be covered.
  3. Citations and references- a mix of wiki referencing and APA style referencing is used - use one style or the other
  4. See also - see previous chapters for how to format these
  5. Either adapt/customise generic material from the template or remove

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:56, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I like the way you talk about a different kind of perspective regarding your topic! I am interested to read more about your chapter when it is done. As well as, what information or studies that you can discuss about your book chapter. Perhaps, you can talk more about how this different perspective influence law-making regarding prevention? I am looking forward on what kind of preventions are there now that actually works! U3165244

Comments[edit source]

Hi! I am currently enrolled in the Forensic Psych unit at UC which uses a textbook that is full of fantastic information relevant to your book chapter! I bought the online version of the book here but I am sure you could also find a copy at the library. If you haven't already completed the Forensic Psych unit and are interested in your book chapter topic I would highly recommend it. I hope you find some use from the resource spoken here and that it may assist in the development of your chapter including more challenging topics! Best of luck! --U3160654 (discusscontribs) 06:53, 13 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This book chapter looks great, very interesting. I am especially interested in the topic of the locus of control, looking forward to reading when you are finished! I am doing a similar book chapter that focuses on the self-stigma in criminal offenders and think that possibly this article may interest you. It focuses on the role of education in rehabilitation motivation: Education in Prison and the Self-Stigma: Empowerment Continuum by Evans, D., Pelletier, E., & Szkola, J. (2017). Good luck! Maddie

Maddiebunday (discusscontribs) 00:53, 31 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This chapter looks really interesting! I like how it is set out and the quiz you've added to it. Makes it all that more engaging! My chapter isn't similar at all, but I would be really curious to read it when you're done :) I'd imagine there would be a lot of great case studies you could find that might give you some good background info or to justify any ideas you find! good luck!!

Cduff297 (discusscontribs) = Cduff297 14:53pm, 1 September 2019 (UTC)

Hi there! This topic looks extremely interesting and is somewhat similar to mine. When reading it i thought about how the 'social identity theory' might be useful. A change in social group could help decrease the risk of offending or re-offending. This link is a brief explanation of it: https://www.simplypsychology.org/social-identity-theory.html Hope this helps! U3178428 (discusscontribs) 10:31, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]


The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title[edit source]

  1. Excellent.

User page[edit source]

  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Well summarised, with link to evidence for Wikiversity contributions.
  2. Provide direct links to tweets.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure. See initial comments about perhaps too many top-level headings - is there a better sub-structure?
  2. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Write for an international audience. Australian issues/examples may be used of case studies.
  2. Write using 3rd person perspective.
  3. Reduce explanatory background material - briefly summarise and provide internal wiki links to further info.
  4. Concentrate on the topic specified in the sub-title.
  5. Restorative justice may be worth a mention, but the amount of focus is probably not justified.
  6. Remove generic template content
  7. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  8. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section.

Image[edit source]

  1. Provided, with an APA style caption
  2. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text

References[edit source]

  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct italicisation
    2. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Be more selective
    2. Format as per recommended style (e.g., see past book chapters)
  2. External links
    1. Format as per recommended style (e.g., see past book chapters)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:04, 26 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:39, 17 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Beth Matthews: Just a reminder about this feedback. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:47, 20 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter with some excellent content, but it needed some harsh editing to meet the word count restrictions, to focus in on addressing the topic and only the topic, and to address topic development feedback.
  2. This chapter is well over the maximum word count. So, there is lots of material that can/should be removed. For example, general material like the 1st paragraph isn't needed - just cut to the chase. A lot of the written expression is convoluted and much more verbose than it needs to be. For inspiration towards leaner and meaner writing, see How to kill a word.
  3. This chapter lacks disciplined focus on the topic and only the topic, tending to wander more broadly into risk indicators for criminality rather than focusing on motivational tools for preventing recidivism.
  4. Conclusion - excellent opening sentence.
  5. The chapter has an inappropriate focus on the Australian context. Earlier feedback was provided about addressing an international audience.
  6. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are covered, described, and explained, however more selectivity is recommended - better to use a smaller number of theories well than too many theories.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some sentences are overly long (e.g., 1st sentence); consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
    2. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just a domestic audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population. Australia could be used as a case study.
    3. Some sentences are unnecessarily wordy - strive for the simplest expression of the point being made.
    4. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    5. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Excellent use of interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. ## No use of embedded links to related book chapters. Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    2. Basic use of images.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. No use of feature boxes.
    5. No use of quizzes.
    6. No use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  6. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
    2. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    3. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    4. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order.
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. A mixture of referencing styles are used; adopt one style.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. See new doi format.

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. ~4 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:38, 11 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, insufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Use of theory (and related research) is weak.
  2. How does justice reinvestment relate to motivation?
  3. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation style is basic, but reasonably good.
  2. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  3. The visual communication is supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Production quality is basic.
  2. Check and correct spelling (e.g., familiy).
  3. There are overly long pauses between slides.
  4. Audio recording included background noise - review microphone set-up.
  5. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and an opening slide.
  6. Video recording quality was good.
  7. Image sources are provided.
  8. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  9. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  10. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  11. A written description of the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:04, 17 November 2019 (UTC)[reply]