Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Voluntary missing person motivation

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit]

This is a very interesting topic choice and I look forward to reading the finished product. The overview is great - it really had me intrigued! From the information you have provided, I would recommend one minor change. In terms of your theory, I think it would be really interesting to find a theory regarding why people choose escape/go missing over other means (i.e. seeking refuge, seeking professional help like psychologists/police etc). Also maybe include a statistic on mental health disorders and missing persons like schizophrenics who go missing due to hallucinations/voices telling them to do so. That would be very interesting. Great job.--BB7897 (discusscontribs) 03:47, 27 August 2018 (UTC)

Was just reading over this topic, and it is seriously so interesting! I'm shocked by the huge statistic of voluntary missing persons apposed to unintentional. You're doing a great job! :) Not sure if this is helpful, but when I was reading the part about parent-child relationships attachment theory came to mind. I honestly am not sure if this is relevant at all but might be something to look into to see if attachment style from birth affects the risk of going voluntarily missing. --Emily Ewart (discusscontribs) 01:21, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi! This is a really interesting topic! Just one thing I found, James said that we don't need to provide references for our figures as they have the reference info embedded in them. So I've just bolded them (figure 1,2,5) so you can find them easier :) It's looking really great! --MaddieCarleton (discusscontribs) 21:59, 19 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi there, Very interesting article. I really enjoyed it and it shows that you have put a lot of effort into researching the topic. One thing I noticed is that the link in your Warning before the quiz is dead and doesn't work. Might be worth looking into that. All the best! --Kunal Kumar - University of Canberra (discusscontribs) 23:31, 20 October 2018 (UTC)

Feedback[edit]

This topic is something that I have little knowledge of, but I think a lot of people would be interested in. The page has been developed very well so far. However, I did notice that your references are not exactly APA. Such that, the journals are not in italics. This resource was posted by the unit convenor and may be of help with this issue https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/Cheatsheet-en.pdf I hope this is helpful. I cannot wait to read the finsih product of this page and I know I will learn a lot. TaylorMal (discusscontribs) 10:41, 28 August 2018 (UTC)

Hi Abbey, I am very pleased to see that you have taken on board my first comment from the 27th of August and applied my feedback to create an 'other reasons/circumstances for going missing' section. The chapter is written to a very high standard and I can see that you have done a lot of research. Well done. --BB7897 (discusscontribs) 22:30, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion[edit]

Hi there, I'm loving your topic, it's so interesting! I have one recommendation for you, just because of the nature of this assignment and the fact that anyone from anywhere can access your page, I recommend broadening the scope of the prevalence section to maybe include more statistics from around the world and Australia, instead of focusing on just the ACT! This may give you room for comparison and would be interesting to see the differences. Good luck and good work :) --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 04:01, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

I'm not sure if you've finished the demographics section but I would add a title to the table to help clarify what the figures represent. Also wondering if you need the content above as well as the table as it seems like the info is duplicated. Hope this helps U3037801 (discusscontribs) 08:46, 18 October 2018 (UTC)


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Autoroute icone.svg

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Excellent.

User page[edit]

  1. Excellent.

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Well done on making two social contributions, signing them, summarising, and adding a link to evidence.
  2. An even better way to add a link - which is more direct - is to go to the page history and compare the two versions of the page (before and after your contribution), then copy and use the link that makes the comparison - e.g., https://en.wikiversity.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3ABB7897&type=revision&diff=1914573&oldid=1914257

Section headings[edit]

  1. Reasonably good
  2. Characteristics could perhaps be subsumed within motivations. Motivations is the key section, so watch out for the potential trap of providing too much definitional and statistical background info and too little motivational info.
  3. The suggested characteristics/motivational info looks really promising.

Key points[edit]

  1. As discussed in person and as per feedback from another user above, internationalise the focus of the chapter. The Australian context could be used as an example/case study, but such a focus is not specified in the title or sub-title.

Image[edit]

  1. Excellent, but internationalise.

References[edit]

  1. Excellent.
  2. Note that the preferred style now for dois is to include the full URL (which will automatically create a hyperlink). More info - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
  3. Note that APA style citation includes an extra comma for citations such as (Henderson, Henderson & Kienan, 2000) -> should be (Henderson, Henderson, & Kienan, 2000)

Resources[edit]

  1. Very good - use lower case (e.g., as per titles of articles in APA style)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:52, 20 September 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion[edit]

i think your topic is really interesting and you have laid out your structure really well. its easy to follow and is attention grabbing. one suggestions is to do a small paragraph after your demographics about why you think they are similar or dissimilar and what culture or social reasons there might be for these differences. Hope this helps xx Joog 17 (discusscontribs) 12:39, 12 October 2018 (UTC)

Headings[edit]

I recommend moving citations from the headings into the text in the section - this will make the heading structure and table of contents easier to read. Also note that headings should be in lower case (per Wikiversity convention). -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:19, 16 October 2018 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:18, 18 October 2018 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an interesting chapter that tackles a novel area, but it seems to lack overarching synthesis of the various motivations and struggles to make practical recommendations for improving our everyday lives (the book theme).
  2. I found the case study confusing - are you suggesting that this person using the cover of 9/11 to go voluntarily missing? Or that she was killed on 9/11? Or that her is unknown? This is a dramatic, but atypical scenario for VMPs, most of whom don't wait for a major cover event to go missing?
  3. The Conclusion has some useful recommendations for advancing knowledge about VMPs, but what are the practical take-home messages that help to address the book theme of helping people to live better lives using psychological theory and research about motivation and emotion?
  4. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Lots of good ideas about reasons for VMPs are presented, but these ideas are somewhat disjointed; there is room for greater synthesis of the motivational material that is presented prior to, and following, SDT.
  2. Seems strange to leave mental illness until the end when it seems to be involved in most MP cases.
  3. SDT is well used as a general framework for considering VMP motivation.
  4. Did you directly consult sources such as Maslow (1943)? If not, such sources should be secondary citations.
  5. Consider using one or more case studies to illustrate the multiple motivations that may contribute to someone wanting to go voluntarily missing.

Research[edit]

  1. Good coverage is provided of limited research on the topic.
  2. Doesn't add to 100%? "According to multiple case files from adults who were previously missing, the highest percentage of those chose to go missing (64%), as opposed to unintentionally missing (16%) (Biehal et al., 2003)."
  3. I don't think Table 1 and Figure 1 add much useful information, especially as they are not specific to VMPs. Probably better to just cite and link to the sources.
  4. Perhaps given the lack of psychological literature about the motivations for VMPs, perhaps also consider (or at least refer to) the next most related areas such as children running away, school wagging, workplace abseentism, medication noncompliance, non-voting, and other counterproductive behaviours.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter's written expression is reasonably good, but is also somewhat disjointed and awkward in places.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
    5. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "See below").
    6. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interesting/novel use of a quiz - well done. But why out of 6? Simpler would be out of 3?
    2. Good use of images and feature boxes.
    3. Interwiki links are well used.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). In particular, check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  5. APA style
    1. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    2. Use APA style for Table captions.
    3. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order.
    4. There are variations in personal citation formatting style.
    5. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Add spaces between author initials.
      2. See new doi format.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Multimedia.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent screencast presentation that makes effective use of Prezi.
  2. This presentation is an excellent synthesis and summary and is interesting to watch and listen to.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the weaknesses of the book chapter are ironed out by this presentation.
  2. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  3. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  4. Perhaps the presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Excellent pacing (not too slow or fast).
  4. The font size is large enough to make it easy to read in the time provided.
  5. Excellent use of images.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. The sub-title should be added to the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  4. Images sources and copyright is well acknowledged.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:28, 14 November 2018 (UTC)