Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Vicarious post-traumatic growth

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Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Wasn't provided; have added

User page[edit source]

  1. Not created

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. None summarised on user page

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Basic, 1-level heading structure propsed

Key points[edit source]

  1. None provided

Image[edit source]

  1. Provided, but seems to be unrelated to topic
  2. Expand figure caption to explain how it relates to one or more key points in the text

References[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. Use APA style
  3. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html

Resources[edit source]

  1. Basic

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:35, 1 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hi! I made some changes to your reference list to ensure doi's were displayed correctly and I deleted the issue numbers as they are not required. Good luck with your book chapter! --Bridie Mcinerney (discuss • contribs) 06:45, 16 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter in large part because so much consisted of direct quotes and also because the chapter completely misses the vicarious aspect of the topic.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. PTSD does not necessarily lead to PTG. Rather, T could lead to PTSD or PTG. Subtle, but important theoretical distinction.
  2. This chapter focuses on PTG rather than VPTG.
  3. Some theory is discussed, but there is a lack of conceptual grasp of VT and VG.

Research[edit source]

  1. Some relevant research is mentioned, but little independent understanding is evident due to the amount of direct quoting.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Direct quotes are over-used. Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words. Direct quotes do not demonstrate achievement of learning outcomes . Direct quotes were ignored for marking purposes.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    3. Use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. The answers for the first quiz question don't make sense (should be yes/no).
    2. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    3. Basic use of images.
    4. No use of tables.
    5. No use of feature boxes.
    6. Basic use of quizzes.
    7. No use of case studies or examples.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Use serial commas.
    2. Check and make correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
    3. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    4. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    5. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and make correct use of capitalisation.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an inadequate presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. No overview.
  2. Some definition and theory is covered.
  3. No research review.
  4. No examples.
  5. No practical take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. No narration.
  2. No images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. No narration.
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  4. A link to and from the book chapter is not provided.
  5. No written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:50, 29 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

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