Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Social anxiety

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Comments[edit source]

Good topic choice, very relevant to a lot of people. Good amount of information on your page, however would it be beneficial to dive into different reasons for social anxiety eg bullying, domestic violence etc? Good luck--U3158773 (discusscontribs) 01:59, 31 August 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Suggestion[edit source]

Hi, I love that you're doing this topic it's a great one to explore. Although I would suggest maybe having a section on how social anxiety influences emotions? That would make the topic link closer to the subject of emotions as that's what heading it is under. If you do decide to include that, I found a study on social anxiety and positive emotions which may be a good start: good luck on the chapter :) --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 04:48, 1 September 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hi Bridie,

I had a read through your chapter and it looks great so far. I think starting it with a case study is a good idea, but it might be a smoother transition if you lead with the overview and then explore those ideas further within the case study. Just so the research is fresh in everyone’s mind while they're reading a practical example. Besides that, I came across this chapter from 2016 that would work well in your ‘see also’ section: Also, there’s some interesting research into private vs. public self-consciousness that might be relevant to this chapter. --U3122470 (discusscontribs) 22:01, 2 September 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Hi Bridie,

I've got a couple references that I hope might be helpful for causes and treatment options. looks at the effect of parenting on the development of SA, looks at more general causes, and compares potential treatment options. As a few other feedback points, I really liked your use of the case study, very effective for getting the reader to engage and relate to the concept of feeling nervous in social situations. Re the overview, I've noticed you've got two spellings of aetiology/etiology - you use the former later in the page as well. Also given not all readers with be Australian, if you could broaden your article/comment about prevalence in Aus to something more global that might be better. Hope something in there is helpful. Good luck! Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 01:42, 2 October 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Bridie I came across this website/resource when doing an assignment on social anxiety last semester It was very informative and definitely worth checking out as it has lots of practice resources for both professionals and people who are living with anxiety. U3037801 (discusscontribs) 00:09, 9 October 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

User page[edit source]


  1. Good

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. Also have a shot at contributing to other chapters on Wikiversity

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Excellent

Key points[edit source]

  1. Overall, well developed.
  2. Excellent use of case study. Consider following this case study through into other sections, to show how SA can be managed etc.
  3. Conclusion - expand (this is the most important section)

Image[edit source]

  1. Very good. I've tweaked the caption.

References[edit source]

  1. Good
  2. Use APA style
  3. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also - Include links to other related Wikiversity book chapters
  2. External links - Select for an international audience

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:23, 30 September 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Image sizes[edit source]

Consider increasing image sizes to make them easier to read, without having to manually zoom. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:43, 16 October 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Social factors of SAD[edit source]


Your book chapter looks great and almost complete! However, I noticed you haven't completed your section on 'Social factors', and you have included: traumatic social events, traumatic life events and parenting style as your sub-headings under this.

In semester one this year, I completed the unit 'Psychopathology' and our case study was on SAD. I thought I would share with you what I wrote down for the social factors for the aetiology of SAD, and hopefully this helps - as it covers all three of those factors which you mentioned: traumatic social events, traumatic life events and parenting styles. Feel free to use the research I have gathered and incorporate it into your chapter, I have put the references below aswell.

"Excessive parental criticism may reduce an individual’s self-confidence, whereby they learn to be overly concerned with others opinions. Moreover, social withdrawal, reduced self-confidence and personal presentation concerns have been shown to elicit rejection from peers, worsening symptoms (Neal & Edelmann, 2003). Additionally, if a child exhibits withdrawn features this often elicits protective behaviours from the parent, maintaining social withdrawal (Hudson & Rapee, 2001). Childhood social adversities may also play a role, as adults with SAD often recall memories of humiliation/bullying from peers (Hackmann, Clark, & Mcmanus, 2000). A history of these social adversities accompanied with minimal instruction on how to effectively deal with them, may lead to SAD (Rapee & Spence, 2004). Adverse life events such as divorce, disability of a family member, or rejection from a parental figure increases stress, which has been shown to increase the risk (Festa & Ginsburg, 2011). A critique of these studies is that they lack external validity, as they are based on individualistic cultures. SAD traits are more accepted in collectivist cultures (Chen, Rubin, & Boshu, 1995)."

Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask me by replying to this! I remember quite a bit about SAD.

I also italicised your 'figure 1' and 'figure 2' to follow APA 6th edition guidelines for images.


Chen, X., Rubin, K. H., & Boshu, L. (1995). Social and school adjustment of shy and aggressive children in China. Development and Psychopathology, 7, 337-349. doi:10.1017/S0954579400006544

Festa, C. C., & Ginsburg, G. S. (2011). Parental and peer predictors of social anxiety in youth. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 42, 291-306. doi:10.1007/s10578-011-0215-8

Hackmann, A., Clark, D. M., & McManus, F. (2000). Recurrent images and early memories in social phobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 38(6), 601-610.

Neal, J. A., & Edelmann, R. J. (2003). The etiology of social phobia: Toward a developmental profile. Clinical Psychology Review, 23, 761-786. doi:10.1016/S0272-7358(03)00076-X

Rapee, R. M., & Spence, S. H. (2004). The etiology of social phobia: Empirical evidence and an initial model. Clinical Psychology Review, 24, 737-767. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2004.06.004

I hope this helps with finalising your book chapter!

--Ju3141393 (discusscontribs) 08:17, 20 October 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter that is problematic in that it doesn't directly address the topic.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Whilst SAD is relevant, the topic is social anxiety (which is relevant to everyone), whereas SAD is about a chronic, excessive problem. This is important distinction - the topic for the chapter should be SA not SAD. As a result, this is more of psychopathology chapter than a motivation and emotion chapter and isn't as relevant to the book theme of using psychological theory and research to help people's everyday lives as it could be.
  2. Relevant theories to SAD are well selected, described, and explained. However, SA should be addressed as a broader phenomenon.

Research[edit source]

  1. Relevant research to SAD is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. However, SA should be addressed as a broader phenomenon.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, well written.
    2. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are well used.
    2. Basic use of images.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. Basic use of quizzes.
    5. Good use of case studies or examples.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style when referring to figures (capitalise Figure).
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    3. Citations
      1. For citations with two authors, do not use a comma between author names.
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct use of spaces (e.g., add spaces between author initials).

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, effective presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section (i.e., main issue is the psychopathological focus).
  2. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  3. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Zoom in on the diagram (it is too small to read easily).
  3. Well paced.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The presentation is over the maximum time limit.
  2. The full chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. The full chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  4. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  5. Images sources and copyright is well acknowledged.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:59, 18 November 2018 (UTC)Reply[reply]